Twenty nine bucks worth of fun.

I need glasses that make me look smarter. Skinny glasses that make me look like I read.

Strange paradox.
Einstein or Frankenstein?
______

In Canada, every last Friday of the month there's a Communist party.
B.Y.O.B. Comrade.

Capitalism don't work without capital.
I'm spending like a drunk sailor.
______

Not just one. Two party.
If you missed my fiftieth you missed a party. Or two.
A tin of coffee, a bottle of scotch, a one ounce bar of silver.
My friends know what I love. I love my friends.
Yes, that includes you.
______

Every kid in Canada knows to drink Canada dry.

I took a job in Edmonton last week.
I left Edmonton twenty four years ago like a rocket.
I was born and raised up in Edmonton twenty five years before that.
Don't let anyone tell you time travel is not possible.
______

I'm waiting for a world where the fried food to run your car is cheaper than the food you eat.
That's when me and my robot dinosaur will eat your car.
_______

Good job.
_______

Last year's block party couldn't be topped. That's what they thought.
Think again.
______

So, I boughtmydreamhome.
In Edmonton.
______

Can life get better than an endless supply of WiFi porn in a Holiday Inn in Regina?
Yes. A little piece of you.
______

I'm on the coast for a couple of weeks.
A little business. What to do with this shack?

Would you rather read people's minds or be able to see the future?

All week. I asked all that would listen. Interesting results.
I told everyone I just wanted to know what I wanted for Christmas.
______

On the coast for the next few weeks.
That's what I really wanted for Christmas.
______

Oh to ride the wind, to tread the air above the din
Oh to laugh aloud, dancing as we fought the crowd

My trip.
I got the red spot on the nose for two bits. I got the blue curly moustache for a buck. Two little girls, painting faces, giggled with glee.
My nieghbours pleased to see me.
A clown, a cad, returned. Returned for the thirteenth annual block party.
I got home for my vacation.


______

Nobody gonna take my head
I got cheese inside my brain
Nobody gonna steal my head
Now that I'm on the road again
Oooh I'm in heaven again I've got everything
Like a moving ground an open road
and everything

The future is seldom a suit of comfortable fit. Not through a lack of forethought or depth of insight. It seems more likely the thread in the hands of the fates.

Why did I come back here?

A weekend in my pyjamas, snacking on Matzo and Maple Frosted Mini-Wheats.
Studying the classics might reveal the truth.


______

Out to the cowboy graveyard.
Romantic to go out. Facedown. Boots on.



As young as an old man once was; he rode hard the high side of a dusty plain.
A member of the North West Mounted Police; bootleggers across the line in the depths of the depression; he is at rest here, with honor.
______


Saturday morning cartoon swirled.

Rich people like champagne. Therefore.
I need to learn to like champagne. I devised a scientific method.
Two bottles of champagne . One test. One control. The control is Mumm Carte Classique.
A rich, round, fruity Sec Champagne that finishes with a subtle sweetness.
Two bottles may seem a little excessive, simply for a taste test.
It often leads to riotous laughter and an electrifying tumble at the insistance of your assistant.
Test complete.

Get out Gatsby. You' re not dead.

I mention the jinn.
I have a funny friend in Edmonton.
" Is Jesus magic? " He said.
" Is sex magic? "
I went to the local big box and got a copy of Islam for Dummies.
______

Way of the buffalo.

I ate the spicy bison.
I dreamt of the buffalo and fancy dress balls. Meeting royalty. At my cotillion.
It soon passed.

______

It's a stampede.

Princess Oh My Goodness Gracious, Too Shy Nation, prettiest girl on the bus.
A casual glance to scan the standing mass, reveals her regal line with grace.

I wonder what she looks like in a buck skin bikini?
______

I think this segment of the trail is a geek paradise. All used computers and porn.
I bought an old corporate ThinkPad and wireless on a PCMIA.
I got my bit rich nieghbours to thank, for my fix.
______

Bone in Twenty O'Seven

I think as men evolve to a twinkle of light; monkeys will evolve to driving little cars. Driving down to the mall for a deal on monkey chow. Driving down to their sweetie's. Driving to a moving picture. Driving into a drive inn. Driving.
I'll then look back to say, "I remember the good old days."
______

I'm flying. I got the cable modem hooked up. Duck.
I am off to the coast for a week. I got loose ends to no end.
I got time, though. That's all I need.

Comfortable.
______

Now, where will the lord of the underworld play?
______

- immoral
1. not conforming to patterns of conduct
2. licentious or lascivious.
- amoral
1. not involving questions of right or wrong
2. having no moral standards, restraints, or principles
______

I could eat a dinosaur, one bite at a time.
______

In an ever increasing need for punishment, I'm taking a job in Calgary.

If you'd asked me, the world would've ended around 1987.
______

"Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of."
- Stephen Hawking

Genius.
______

Hard drive packed. The heat.
Windows!
I could have been a bus driver.
______

Chinese with the next best exwife, four fortunes:

YOU WILL BE SHOWERED WITH GOOD LUCK.
YOU ARE NEXT IN LINE FOR A PROMOTION.
SHARE YOUR HAPPINESS WITH OTHERS TODAY.
LOOK FOR A PRICELESS BIT OF NEWS FROM A LOVED ONE.

Who'da thought. I got lucky.

Hobgoblin.