Death, not a cheery subject I know, but it's been around for me a lot recently.

An acquaintance of mine died recently in an accident while taking time out in the desert.

My mother went to Spain to teach English and yesterday had a serious asthma attack and is now in intensive care. It's not the first time I've seen in there.

Then the other day I found out a woman I met on a train to San Fran who worked in adult films died from a brain aneurysm. We were the same age.

It's brought back memories for me of times I thought I might die. Any way you look at it, we're all heading there.

So what am I going to do with my time (I don't know how much time), that is really meaningful? How can I make the world a little bit better, people a little more happy, or able to deal with the harsh parts of life?

The first time I saw my Mum go into a psychiatric ward was when I was 12, the same time my step-father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. I started to read books by the Dalai Lama to try and make sense of things, and found a meditation teacher at 18. I studied Psychology and Criminology at University. I was still left with a lot of questions, doubts, and fears.

So I studied more, experienced more of life, started to attend long meditation retreats, trying not to push the questions away, but allow them to ripen over time, ripen towards fruits.

And I suppose they did . . . but I'm still left with this question. What can I really do to help?

I don't think there are any easy answers, but today I have spare time, so I'm going to spend it with this question, and see what comes forward.

Hope you're all well,

Rich