STS 9 TONIGHT! WOOOHOOO! free dinner, vip passes, and free lsd. gonna be fun. First fridays tomorrow night, most exellent. and saturday night i get to party my ASS off out in springfield with my girl and a bunch of our friends. we'll be dancing from 8pm to 7am. YEAH! Jungle! Boh! n shit.

oh yeah... and i'm getting my super sweet BA LEDsticks soon. yay!

despite all the bullshit going on in my life right now, i feel like i'm one lucky bastard. i am surrounded by the most amazing, loving, caring people...

"Consumed with memories that preceded today
Given a chance to bereave life that's slipping away

Suffered through tradegy of my slow decay
Deceptive tendencies dragged my soul away

All that I know there was no God for me
Force that shatters all, absence of mortality

Revive all my fears
Revive wasted tears
Revive void withing
Revive once again...

Forsaken by destiny, forsaken by my own mind
I must remove my skin to see belief in your eyes

All that I know there was no god for me
Force that shatters all, absence of humanity

Revive all my fears
Revive wasted tears
Revive void withing
Revive once again...

Reach for the sky
Touch the sky
Revive a hope
For mankind"


and so one of the most wonderful evenings turns into one of the most frightening.

well... so i'm goin' to omaha tomorrow to party my ass off for new years. yay! i just hope lauren has a good time. she was so excited at first... but now she seems to be having second thoughts. i'm not sure whether or not its something her friend said to her or whather she just doesnt want to drive or whatever... i know she'll have fun when she gets there, i just wish i could drive instead of her. i know she's not looking forward to the drive. damn. i wish i had a drivers liscence and a car that worked more than ever now.

wow... so its been awhile since i've been on here... lack of funds... blah... being jobless sucks. well... so lets see... so much has happened since i last typed in this thing. i'm now working at a video game store... game x change on 95th and quivera... its alot of fun. i found myself a girl! her names lauren. met her at a party called "resistance" out in the middle of manhatten. we've been absolutely crazy about eachother, and we make eachother so happy. its amazing. i've never felt this way about someone. she's my little raver girl. i feel so lucky to be with her. she's such a unique person... i dont think i've met anyone quite like her. she's also a fan of SG, so thats cool. anway, what else is new... cant drive anymore... that sucks. i have no liscense for awhile. got arrested twice in a short time period, so i've been dealing with that lately. 2 paraphinalia charges, 1 possesion of marijuana charge, and 1 minor in possesion of alcohol charge... damn... what was i thinking. glowsticks have stolen my soul. i'm not sure exactly when it happened, but it did. i go to a party, crack my sticks, and i simply do not stop dancing. but i'm getting pretty good, and have inspired some of my friends... so thats pretty cool. i have formed a new "rave squad." it seems most of the old ravers i used to party with have flaked out on me. . makes me sad. i still talk to ashley online alot, but i havent seen any of the other kids for awhile. oh well... i've grown so close to these kids i've been partying with lately... we've sorta formed a family. its awesome. i've also started getting back into drawing. a talent i have too long neglegted. sometime i'll post up some of my work or something. anyway, life is going so wonderfully... despite the pending legal charges and the lack of wheels... i couldnt be happier.

ps... got my first gallery up on here! yay! pics of friends and parties and whatnot... if your reading this, then you should be checking it out.

alrighty, well, its been awhile since my last entry... not so much because of nothing to report, but more because of lazyness. lately i've been hanging out with this cute little raver girlie. she's really cool. We went down to this little place called the cup and saucer. it was drum and bass night. didnt do a whole lot of dancing (but then again, its not like i ever do), but i did get hit on by some random girl. score. my buddy clintoris hooked it up with some drinks. my little raver drank an entire bottle of champaigne in a matter of minutes. damn. i had a beer. needless to say, she got pretty wasted. between not sleeping in 3 days, and drinking an entire bottle of champaine, she was starting to see things. the rest of the night i sorta babysat her. we went over to my buddy eric's, down in westport, and chilled there for a little bit. poor little ashley passed out while we were puffin' down on some snuggs, and when it was time to go, we couldnt wake her. we even put an amp next to her head and wailed on the guitar with little to no effect. i think she was just trying to be cute though, because every now and then i'd see her smile. finally, we got her up, and i drover her back to where she was staying. made sure she got to bed okay and was sound asleep, and then went and had my other beer. it was quite refreshing. i stayed over at where she was staying for a bit, and watched a coupla tweekers try to record some music. after my beer, i bid everyone farewell, and came home. i am now listening to the new deal, and eating cheez its. mmm. time to get some sleep, cuz i got work at 10.

--brad

its been a little while since the last entry. but i've been sorta busy. on saturday, my place of employment for 2 years closed down. so now i'm a jobless bum. however, saturday did turn out to be a pretty fun day. got drunk with the all my coworkers and bosses on the sales floor. that was fun. then we came back to my house and i got to get high with a bunch of people i never ever expected to see get high. that was definately very interesting. after that, i went down to my buddy erics housewarming party down in westport. very cool. it was the first time i'd seen his new house. what else is new... hmm... parents got back in town, so no more partying at my house. i tripped on mushrooms on either monday or tuesday... i cant remember now... it was fun, but i didnt really have as many visuals as i would have liked. my friend had a bad trip and felt like shit... we found out later that it was because he hadnt taken enough... which sorta suprised me... right now i'm filling out an application for goodcents. oooh exciting.

well... just got home from a very interesting night. off work early (around 8:30 or so) went straight to jazz in the woods with old friends witch was awesome, saw one of the opening acts and the first few songs of spyrogyro. very cool. that led to goin' to another old friend's house to chill and pick up some green. he showed me some of the art he drew in jail. very cool pen and ink drawings on random envelopes and handkercheifs. later, stopped by one of my co-worker's apartments. appearantly we might not have jobs after saturday. to help cope, a bunch of us got together and drank and smoked, it was fun. got to see some people who dont usually get fucked up, get fucked up, witch was rather humorus. hung out there until a little after 1:00. left there, stopped by my house, changed, and left for a righteous house party. the party was cool, the house is owned by 4 djs, so there was plenty of music goin' on. partied there for awhile, saw plenty of old faces that i didnt expect to see. most i was happy to see, but one was this kid named chris, i used to work with him, and he stole four hundred bucks from me. i came pretty close to ripping into him right there. but i restrained myself. i'm not too big unnecessary violence(unless of course its not real). appearantly this was a wise decision, because i found out later, he had a stun gun on him for some reason. anyway. after awhile (3ish maybe?) my friend and i get invited by a coupla girls to come chill with thim at their friends apartment. we both have work in the morning, he goes home, i go with them. i get there, and most of the people are rolling, pondered getting a roll, but decided against it... not something i want to do too often. i end up staying over there until around 5:30. it was quite fun. got to know plenty of cool people. the girl who invited me over there took a liking to my D.A.R.E. shirt, and ended up changing into one of her own. she kept flirting with me all night. it was nice. by the time i left it was rather light out, and had been raining for awhile. on my way home, as i was cruising down the backroads, taking the last puff of a wholesome j, the sun breaks through the clouds, and i was treated to an absolutely amazing sunrise. got home, got on here, and started typing this. man, its been such a cool night. kinda a nice first real journal entry too. unfortunately, i've got to be at work in two hours...

yay, i finally updated my profile and all that whathaveyou!