done being a hopeful. done with this site....

i'm sorry guys, i just...idk...

this site has changed, and this change isn't a good thing.

the palo alto police almost owned me today. luckily for me, the cop that pulled me over for speeding was (i think) one of my cousins. i have a big white-trash family on my dad's side with too many cousins to count, but he looked familiar, he looked like my dad and his brothers, and his last name is my last name...but i could just be crazy....yeah, i'm most likely crazy.

anywho...

the shoot with rue went fabulous. i'll post pictures later when i get them. lots of implied and nudes, and he promised to do another shoot soon

in ickiness news, i almost fainted at the shoot. i lost my hearing and got really hot and dizzy. i could barely walk or stand. i think it's because i didn't eat before. hehe i don't ever eat before i shoot, but i guess this time i should have.

so yeah, i'm watching family guy, and it's the fcc episode. i love seth macfarlane for making this episode because he was tired of the fcc bugging him



beautiful.

i haven't had a problem with anyone on this site except for one person.

i do not get Grieve. i mean, really? four sets in one week? two today, one yesterday? what the fuck? one of the sets didn't even have full nudity, and the newest one looks like her fingers might have slipped into her fucking pussy. what the hell?

i'm very bothered by this. she's taking up valuable time and space in the hopefuls section. she's taking away from other girls' opportunities to go up sooner and be up longer on the front page.

it's not right. NOT FUCKING RIGHT.


...huh. i didn't even mention how she looks like she belongs in playboy...
but then again, i think that's pretty obvious.

Doesn't look like I'm getting my WoW account back

This sucks major balls. I've already bought a new account, but it's gonna take forever to get all my shit back to how it was. Oh well...

I'm doing a ton of photo shoots now that i'm getting out of high school. I'll be going to school a hell of a lot less. haha. I've got a shoot coming up with Jonathan LeDeux next weekend, and Jesse Alford the next, along with 1Camera1Lense. Weekend after is with Perpetual Visions...I've also gotta set up dates for DropKick Photography, John Warner, and SecondGlance Photos.

Jesus H. Christ! Just when I thought I'd be less busy, these bastards wanna work with me

In other news, I'm very, very crazy right now due to PMS. I get fucking insane at this time of the month. I'm like how I was before my meds in terms of anxiety, mood swings, anger, depression, self-harm, etc. BLAH! And when my period actually starts, I'll feel better emotionally, but I'll be in horrible physical pain for about 4 days. Anyone else get those cramps where all you can do is curl up in a ball on the floor and cry out in pain? I've seriously been knocked to the fucking floor by my menstrual cramps before. So, I guess the only other thing I can say about this is...GOD HATES WOMEN!

I'm watching Black Snake Moan right now...and as much as I love this movie, it just makes my anxiety and shit worse. The director did a hella good job portraying the emotions and shit of a traumatized young woman...too good. Damn dangerous if you ask me.

Anywho, I'm gonna just stop talking now. This blog has gone on with this nonsense for too long now if you ask me. Might even delete it or edit it down later. Not in the mood to do it now, though. lol...


Yeah, but I guess the whole point of this is:
I feel real damn shitty right now.

my wow account was banned along with half a million others...including my boyfriend's. god damn it. i'm fighting it as i type this.

for your amusement as i cry to the blizard gods:



he reminds me of an ex i had. if anyone knows a "gabriel" of stockton, then they know what i'm talking about. haha

grad nite was last night. omg, it was NOT as fun as i was hoping. i love disneyland too much to enjoy that bullshit night.

clubbing in disneyland? WTF?
only 6 hours in disneyland? WTF?
only 3 hours in california adventure? WTF?
ghetto ass kids starting fights? WTF?
no air conditioning on the bus? WTF?
shitty movies on the bus (catch and release????) WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

i'm so pissed i payed that much for that crap. oh well, i got to spend some time with my friends (i realized i hate one of them) and i got to go on a few good rides...
but still, i need a minimum of three days in disneyland from 8am to 12 midnight each day to be even close to satisfied. lol

but yeah...i'll post pictures later. haha

in other news, i'm thinking of shooting a new set soon. was gonna get taye to do it, but she's stopped replying to my emails. soooo...my lovely boyfriend shall be shooting it in our new studio space! i still want to build a studio in our backyard, but for now we have one in the living room. haha.

oh oh oh! fashion show at my cosmetology school sunday (tomorrow?) at 1! if anyone has nothing to do in norcal they should totally go! it's free! at elite academy in downtown stockton, right above the boiler room

ps: my hair's red...again


it was like this for a while:

(except it's not done in this pic. haha. was a tired monday at school )


more pictures:


me and my sister

me and my mommy

my puppy crossing her legs while she sits. just like a little lady.

me and ma boo

...AND...
a pic i took for the fashion show. the girls running it needed preveiw pictures of themes, so me and some friends posed for the one we're modeling for. we modeled as pinups, but now our theme is moulin rouge. haha



tata for now my loves