It's been a long time since I've been on here...

So, what's been going on with me? If you care to know:
1. Still job hunting
2. My mom and her cat (which was really mine till I moved out) moved here from NY.
3. It's freaking freezing!!! Seattle looks like a tundra... 19 - 24 F. And we expect more snow tomorrow.
4. I now have a cold...

That's the Cliff note version of the last few weeks of my life. Nothing exciting. I'm really looking forward to the end of 2008.

In case you didn't hear (mostly, if you are out of WA state) there was a shooting at the Southcenter mall (Tukwila, WA) today around 3:30pm. I was there with my daughter. We were grabbing a bite before we would go see a movie.


We were in the food court upstairs, right above where the shooting happened. There was a loud noise, people started looking at each other, I was telling myself "is this what I think it is"?, then, after a few seconds a 2nd shot was heard. People started running. I didn't want to do that because I was afraid of Nati and I being trampled. So, I took her off the chair and we laid low by the wall, using the chair to hide us (it had our coats) and my body as a shield for her. Another family of 4 were at the table next to us, so I just observed the father to see what he would do. After about 1-2 mins we stood up. The family left. As I saw people leaving from the movie theater above us, I put our coats on and gathered our food and we went out.

The scariest was while we were waiting outside, I saw a police officer getting his automatic riffle ready and taking off running. That's when I decided it was time for us to head to our car and leave.

I was parked at the opposite side of the shooting, so it actually made leaving the mall easier.

There is one person dead and one injured. The police searched the mall store by store for hours in an effort to find the gunman. But it would have been really easy for him to sneak out with the crowd as thousands of people were exiting after the incident.

Anyway, I am grateful that nothing happened to us and that I was able to keep cool and collected to think clearly and protect my child. Scary thing, though.

Last week it was announced that the unemployment rate hit 6.5%.

I am part of that statistic as of Wednesday, when after 8 1/2 years of service, I was laid off from my company. I'm not bitter, since I knew there was a possibility of that happening, and I did get a severance package. Yet, that doesn't make it any easier to handle. I was given two (2) hours to pack or say goodbye or just leave. I decided to take all my personal belongings, and two of my co-workers from my group helped me pack up, so that I had enough time to send out a short email to some of my friends and colleagues (which was short, to the point and professional).

Granted it's only been about 3 days, but I feel as though I am on vacation. I decided to take the first few days to 'decompress', since I had been under a lot of stress and hadn't been happy at work for the last year and half (if not longer). I got together with a fellow 'unemployed' friend and we've been exploring some of the 'free' activities around Seattle. On Thursday, we went to the SAM (Seattle Art Museum), since first Thursday of every month, museums and art galleries offer free admission. And then, on Friday, we went to the Kubota Gardens (Japanese Gardens). It is said that these are haunted, but we didn't see anything, other than perhaps it was a little strange that we could see our breath while standing by one of the ponds (it was about 62F that day), but that could've been a result of higher humidity.

I am trying to remain positive because I would like to find a job a quickly as possible, because I do have a family to support, and the money will run out at one point. But, at the same time, I don't want to just take any position with any company. So we'll see...

In the meantime, no more free pound of coffee a week or 30% discount for me! Unless my old work buddies offer it to me

More work related heartburn...

I had the worst performance review of my career yesterday.

And then today, I got to a morning meeting 10 mins late (and someone told on me! mind you I'm in the 'corporate' world).
They wanted to fire me, but the director said to hold off beacuse of more changes coming up.
I was basically told to look for another job in a different team or outside.

When is Karma going to come around and bite these people in the ass?

They've been on me for the last 2 years or so. I think all my personal drama (separation from my daughter's dad, death of my grandmother, my dad's illness and then death) have affected my life and work greatly, yet, my managers don't care "other people go through this".

I feel like I'm tied down (and not in a good way). I have a daughter to support, my mom is selling her house and moving across the country to be with us and Bush f*cked up the economy, so the job pickings are slim.

All this weighing in my mind (on top of the relationship drama) and I can't sleep, which makes me super tired and lethargic in the mornings. Oh, and apparantely, I don't have the right level of 'engagement' - WTF! we changed teams and directors 3 or 4 times this year alone, and went through 2 major layoffs, where I saw some friends and close coleagues loose their jobs. Still, they expect me to come in perfectly dressed and ready to go - let's not forget that I'm not a brown-noser, which has negatively impacted my career as well.

BullSHT!

Okay... I feel a little better that I was able to type this up here for anyone to read - if they care to.

It's been a little shitty for me the last 2 weeks or so.
The night before my birthday, my computer crashed and I did a "system recovery" ... thought I lost my files ... had to visit Best Buy for help, but I'm finally back online (it took me over a week for the whole process), though it's not all back to normal. Still have to call Microsoft for help in reinstalling (or fixing) MS Office.

The morning of my birthday, I got a flat tire (it was pretty much in threads when I pulled into the tire repair shop).

Some of my friends didn't show up to my birthday BBQ that Saturday... I'm still waiting to hear what happened from at least one of them.

Then, a few days later, my BF breaks up with me. We go back and forth for about a week, just to have him break my heart again. WTF!!!! Long story short: he feels I have too high expectations (we've been dating about 2 months), and it's too much for him to handle. He needs time to think what he wants.

Yesterday my daugther and I went to the Puyallup Fair (it's a bit of a 'hick' thing) with my ex-BF. I'm finally able to talk to him and deal with him without feeling too weird about it (it's been about
5 months since the relationship ended). I told him about my current situation. He suggested I give the guy his space. He thinks that chances are he'll come back in a few weeks. (I'm really impatient when it comes to waiting for someone).
Then, he gave me a little boost in my ego when he said I was the 'best' he had... Still, we have different goals, so I don't want to go down that road again, just because I'm lonely.

I'm hoping for a better week ahead.

I decided what I want for my next tattoo. I'm continuing with the kanji symbols done my spine.

Yeah.... It's my birthday on Thursday the 28th!

I don't have any plans for tomorrow, but Friday I'm off from work and going out for drinks with friends. Then, Saturday, I'm hosting a BBQ to celebrate "family style".

This whole week I've been in training, having to be at work by 8;30am. It's been really challenging, and I haven't been getting lots of sleep - partly due to worrying about oversleeping and getting in late.

Tomorrow is the last day, so I'm happy about that. I'm probably going to bed really early tonight (around 9pm) because I'm exhausted!

At least once a week, it seems, a new SG is made. Young, beautiful, and edgy. I am seriously considering calling this quest for "pink-ship" off.
I'm not what I used to be. And it's hard to compete against all the young 'hopefuls' out there. What makes me so special? Besides, unless I get an awsome photo set shot by a professional photographer, I don't even stand a chance!
I'm starting to think that it may not be worth the effort...

So... I recently met this guy. We kinda of went on 3 dates (2 of which, I didn't consider as such, since my daughter was there too!).

I just told him about my involvement with SG. And he says he's not sure what he feels about it. That he'll need to look into it more. It just so happens that he had heard of the name, but knows nothing about the Suicide Girls.

My question is, should I just keep this from people? My other "friend" had a huge problem with it.
Or... when is it a good time to talk about it?

now, I'm second guessing my openess.