into: Torturing children, Pretending I'm blind and/or deaf to confuse people, Beer tasting, Frozen turkey bowling, Pimping female midgets, Professional sloth polishing, Hanging lost children from meat hooks, kicking puppies, building death lasers, pinching random people on the ass, tossing gnomes into mud puddles, getting drunk and pissing in peoples gas tanks

not into: Capitalism, breeding, Homosapiens.

makes me happy: Unnecessarily messy murder.

makes me sad: Lack of the aforementioned

5 things i can't live without: Death Rays, Minions, Victims, Meat, Your Mom's Va-jay-jay.

vices: Hydroxyethane.

thoughts on sg: It's okay

i spend most of my free time: Worshiping Zardoz, Killing prostitutes and keeping them in my freezer, puppy stomping, plotting over-throw of world government, Fucking your Mom.

 

gender: male

occupation: Cult leader/Messiah, German Brothel owner, Professional Icecream tester, Child slave trader, Pro Rubber chicken tosser, Kissing booth worker, Evil Genius.

current crush: Resistance to my World Dominance

stats: 6'0, 190 lbs, big feet, pale like the undead.

body mods: - Switchblade fingernails with thumb corkscrew, and left pinky a tiny miniature spork. - Inflatable butt. Adjustable for comfort, and a ton of fun at parties. - 20/.001 eyes with lasers. - Liquorish flavored facial hair. - Penis replaced with Vibrating dildo with adjustable girth that can double as a pogo stick. Shoots hydrochloric acid. - Abdominal cavity replaced with six slots for beer cans. - Lungs replaced with carbon dioxide scrubber and stainless steel shark fin built into spine. For harassing children in pools. - Stainless steel serrated teeth with telescopic fangs. - Kevlar re-enforced forked tongue with mint dispenser. - Synthetic skin that can change color, flavor, and texture.

heroes: Patrick Bateman, Wonder Woman, Arthur Frayn, Barbarella, Anyone who can pick their nose with their tongue.

gets me hot: Dead Hookers under your couch

favorite position: Anything that requires your Mom and an eggbeater.

fantasy: Eating children alive with a spork.

sign: One time I burped, sneezed and hiccuped at the same time

most humbling moment: None. I RULE YOU, BITCH!

i lost my virginity: What's a Virgin?... Oh, wait, that's what my sacrificial victims are...

I AM LOOKING FOR: whoever comes along

I WANT: Friendship.

MY STATUS: not telling

MY DIET: Omnivore

MY POLITICS: None apply, you assholes

MY DRUG USE: Down the hatch

CIGARETTES: Nope

ALCOHOL: Occasionally

POT: Occasionally

MY KINK FACTOR: I will pee on your dog while wrapped in clingfilm.

MY PIGEONHOLES: Fuck you, I defy categories.