for once i'm glad to have a blog no one reads. i need to vent a few things.

1. it is seriously annoying to have a girlfriend and only be marginally closer to being laid than i was without one. granted, there are good reasons (i'm her first and she doesn't wanna rush things). still. i thought not being single anymore would mean not having to relieve my own pressure. blah.

2. the use of the word pine as a verb annoys me. yet, i find myself doing exactly that. this bothers me for a number of reasons. it's a girly, emo thing to do. normally i wouldn't care, but when you have few masculine qualities other than belching a lot and having a penis, you take all you can get. the other thing is that we've only been together like three weeks. it's that whole growing attached too early issue i have. that worries me sometimes.

3. i'm worried about the relationship in general. again, girly thing to do, but i covered that. i don't see this lasting in the long term. we're friends and all, and highly compatible, but i just can't see us still being together a few years from now. i realize i'm young, but i'm already tired of looking for "the one". probably just impatience working at me. who knows? it's entirely possibly i'm wrong and just being pessimistic.

that's about it. hello, anyone who happens upon this and reads it. i apologize for the whining, but it's not like this was meant for viewing. it's your own fault, really. no one forced you to read it.

well. Nan Desu Kan was totally awesome. saw lots of cool stuff, bought some cool things, checked out lots of cute girls. now that it's over, real life is totally depressing.

in related news, i met a (cat)girl there. my plans for such an endeavor succeeded far more than i'd hoped. (said plans being to wear cat ears & a tail. bound to be glomped a few times like that, right?) anyway. fell for her rather harder than i'd expected. this is a very bad thing. why, you ask? because she lives in fucking Pueblo. for a carless wonder like me, it may as well be mars. the gods are quite cruel. they were even taunting me today, which i thought needless. some event thing going on outside at school, and what do i see? a catgirl with short hair dancing around. (my catgirl had short hair, and she actually convinced to go to the masquerave with her. i'm not normally one for dancing, but when a very cute catgirl says you should come dance with her, you really can't say no.)

blast. i hate everything.

hm. sadness. all this time and i still don't have a job. whoo. on the plus side, next week is Nan Desu Kan. hooray.

Whee. i am once again the jobless wonder. ain't life grand when you have no money ? on a brighter note, i finally caught suicune. take that, bitch !

hm. updating after ten days. with nothing, really. made it through this semester (barely). D- in art history, which sucks ass. means i'll have to take it over again. nooooo. suppose it's my own fault for not doing the damn paper. but still.

yesterday was cool. got 2nd in the tournament. (i'm a yu-gi-oh freak, for those who don't know. which would be all of you, since i've never mentioned it before.) pulled a phoenix out of a lone pack. kicks more ass than anything in quite a while.

so. after calling this girl i've been ranting about since i started writing in this thing, i find she has a new boyfriend. i'm not giving up, though. she sounded surprised when she found out i don't have a girlfriend. i take that as a good sign.

wow. that was a lot of nothing.

gahhhhh. finally done with school. ::collapses::

::hours pass::

so anyway. yeah. awesomeness. i'm worried about my grades in 3 out of my 4 classes. i'm far too much of a slacker. i hate school. not so much the learning, but the work. i pay them to teach me, not to work me. grr.

i woke up last night hacking up a lung. not a smoker. i'm sick. it's great. coughed up a lung, then ran to the bathroom and puked up the -entire- contents of my stomach. i've rarely felt it that empty. it hurt. then i went back to bed, and still had to get up and go to work. that was great.

i need me a monte cristo sandwich. too bad i have no idea where to find one in denver. my friend jack was right. this city is too damn healthy sometimes. grr. i need me some deep-fried goodness. i should just look on the internet. profound idea, that. using the internet for useful things, stead of bullshitting and looking at hot nekkid chicks. hm. i shall.

so. like. yesterday. i was at a bus stop downtown with my friend. i was sitting on a big purple planter. he looks down, sees an unopened pop-tarts package, and points it out. i'm all like... huh. interesting. so he grabs it and inspects it. perfectly fine, except for a bit of dirt (it being in a planter and all). he then proceeds to open it. it had those red star wars pop tarts. he ate them. i'm conflicted over what i think of that. (didn't even offer me any, the greedy bastard). not sure i would've taken it. i don't know. would you have, my great invisible audience ?

this semester's grades are gonna suck. for once, being a slacker totally caught up and bit me in the ass. damn it all. i've also had a sinus headache for two days straight now. what fun.

whoo. last night was the most incredible ever. ever ever ever. went to see NIN. i can die happy now. it was the most awesome spectacle i have been witness to. reaffirmed and strengthened my worshipping at the altar of Trent. eee.

may have found a new job. my dad's friend can get me a part time at Frito-Lay. 15 bucks an hour, but it's on weekend nights. mixed blessing, that is. will have to consider further.

happiness in the girl department. since i can't have any of the lovely ladies of the site, i'm stuck going after girls here. finally got this girl's number i've been trying to go after for a while. it's not that she wouldn't give it to me, i just couldn't find her at school most of the time. ran into her today, since she saw me and went out of her way to talk to me. walked to her car, she gave me a big hug out of nowhere. wanted to die again (for the second time in 24 hours, first being at the concert when Trent came out).

weird. it seems like my life is doing a big flip-flop. from bleah to whoo. i really hope it completes the flip.

whoo. got my art project done with negative two hours to spare yesterday. i am such an awesome procrastinator it's unbelievable. i'm sad, though. finished the dune series. maybe i'll go read the prequels. can't hurt, right ? anyway. amityville was freaky. first time i've had a movie creep me out in a loooong time. looking forward to hitchhiker's guide friday with dread/excitement. looks iffy. but i have to see it. ::points to favorite books:: see. and. um. hm. guess that's it.