My absence is due to all of the awesome things going on in my life the past few months.

1) travelled to Sweden and Denmark again.
2) working to finish up school in May
3) preparing to move in June
4) random other shit

1) Travels







I couldn't stay away from Scandinavia. December was my return trip to Sweden for a couple of weeks, and Denmark for a couple of days. The weather was pretty mild for winter. I primarily hung out around Gothenburg and the surrounding suburbs for the most part, but took a nice train ride to Copenhagen right after the New Year. Regardless of how many train rides I take, I still love it. It's so different from the excessive driving one must do in this area of the world.

2) After 6 years of trying to figure out what I want to do and then doing it, I'm finally on the verge of graduating with a B.S. in Interior Design. Four years of pretty much hell. I wouldn't change it. This is my final semester, and even with my internship, it's eerily relaxed. Maybe this hard work shit is paying off... I'm actually getting into my commercial design classes and enjoying being a CAD monkey. Not to mention, sticking with my French minor is beginning to feel like a good decision. I'm still kind of nervous to speak to native speakers, but I'm getting pretty good at understanding my professor from Martinique.

3) I am currently in the incredibly bureaucratic process of applying for my residence permit to move to Sweden. Waiting isn't one of my strengths, but that's the kind of game this is, I guess. I'm waiting for interview at the embassy to get here. If all goes well...



^this will be my new home. I'm counting the days. Every waking hour is consumed by thinking about it. I've been thinning out what few material things I own, filling out paperwork, and daydreaming. After my visit in December, I'm so certain that this is a good move for me.

4) Random other shit:



Working in an unheated warehouse is cold as fuck. I wear my hiking tights under my pants, several layers of shirts and sweaters, and the thickest socks I own.



It's so cold that even the South is getting this white shit everywhere.




Got myself a cattoo! and now I will shameless plug the awesome artist who did it: Randy Hall at Empire Tattoo in Asheville, NC. Super cool guy, super great artist.


Well, that's what I've been doing in the months I've neglected this bloggggg...

OH WAIT! I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION MY TITS!

They will be up for member review on Feb. 22nd in Wisp of Blue shot by the incredible Waikiki while I was in Holland last summer. Prepare yourselves for this:

Life has been such an adventure since the last time I wrote a blog. My internet life has suffered a bit, but I feel like it's time to update!

Let's see, where to begin... well, I'll try to cover everything!

HEALTH

For those who have followed me over the past 6 or 7 months, I had surgery back in the spring and I'm doing infinitely better. It's something I will have to watch out for in the future, but my body is cancer free! It was a rather shitty time in my life, but I'm so thankful it's over. I was lucky to catch it in the very early stages, but not all women are so lucky. Ladies, please get a checkup regularly. Gentlemen, urge the women in your life to take their health into their own hands and see a doctor regularly.

LEARNIN'

Due to the whole health thing, last semester was pure hell, but this is my last year! As of May 2012, I will be finished and ready to move on to other adventures. I would love to go to grad school, but financially, it's not in the cards. I think I will work for a bit, then go back to school. Yes, a lot of people claim that they will and never do, but I'm certain I will. I'm a student at heart and can't imagine not furthering my education.

EUROPE

I apologize in advance, because I do not think I can fully convey how my trip to Europe changed my life. I'm not going to write a play by play. I'm just going to write about key moments. Most of them are just internal thoughts or small bits of interest. Maybe a picture or two from each city. Here it goes anyway!

Back in January, I wrote that I wanted to travel to Europe... Well I did it! With the hospitality and aid of some really amazing people, I made it to Europe. It was incredible. For an entire month, I carried my life around on my back in a 38 liter pack, riding trains through six different countries, stopping to meet and stay with amazing people.

I partied hard the Sunday night before I left. We hosted a garden party that got rained out, so 40 people crammed into our house, drank, and made my last night in the states perfect. I slept with a friend I only get to see a couple of times a year and slept really well thanks to booze and some cheap sleeping meds. I woke up the next morning, drove two hours to my hometown, left my car with my family, and hopped on a plane to DC.

In the DC airport, it hit me. While waiting on my plane, I scribbled notes in a small journal. My heart pounded in my throat. "Fuck. What the hell have I done..." I wrote in the journal. I had a backpack, my passport, and a train pass. For one month, that was going to be my life. I boarded my plane to Europe, to Paris to be exact, and it was like every apprehension I had had dissolved as the door closed. There was no turning back. I was doing this.

PARIS

My first stop. I've spent the past three years studying French, so I felt like I should go to France. The last time I traveled to Paris, I was 16 and with tour group. It wasn't a very pleasant experience. This time, I wanted to do all the things I didn't get to do the first time. I had an acquaintance that I had met through an iPhone app called Wander, so we went out my first night in Paris, drank, and I rode the metro drunk back to my hostel with a smile on my face. I was so happy to be in Europe.


VERSAILLES

LILLE

Here, I met the incredible Sinnah. She offered me a comfortable place to sleep and wonderful company. She has some of the best vibes I've ever felt from a person. So nurturing and creative. I can't write enough about how she made me feel like this trip was a good idea.


BEST APPLE PIE EVER

MUNICH

My next stop, I stayed with the adorable Fraise. She showed me such a good time! We drank so much sitting on a sidewalk the night before I had to leave for my next train. I love her sense of humor and how genuine she is. I needed someone to party with, but she was equally as fun just to talk to.


BADASS VEG CHICAGO DOG (i still have dreams about it!)

BERLIN

The cutest little thing, Nadeshda picked me up at the train station in Berlin after my hungover ride from Munich. We went to cook out and I had a blast listening to everyone speaking German. I just pretended everything was about sausages and unicorns. My stay with Nadeshda was so relaxed, but moving. She showed me the Berlin Wall, which was a very emotional moment for me. I loved how she answered all of my ridiculous questions and walked around the city for 6 hours with me. She'll be a wonderful mother is she can tolerate my silliness




NUREMBERG

The first time I was in a car (other than one drunken night in a taxi that I don't really remember) was when Vine rescued me from yet another train. Let me say, this girl can bake the most amazing cupcakes! And she is so much fun to just lounge on a couch with at a party and just talk. I love her smile! It's stuck with me since I've met her.


ALBRECHT DURER'S HOME (my nerdy love for art history made seeing this a huge moment for me!)

LEIPZIG

I was arriving in Leipzig during the Gothik Festival, and I have to say, as a little Southern girl, I was a bit nervous and had no clue what to expect. Thankfully, I had Mimmi to save me from any weirdos! I absolutely loved this woman. She and I walked around a museum that literally moved me to tears, but I felt so comfortable crying with her around. It's like she naturally puts you at ease. By this point in my trip, exhaustion was starting to set in, but staying with her was really refreshing. As cliche as it sounds, she is really a breath of fresh air, and a hell of a woman.


EASTERN GERMAN PEDESTRIAN SIGNALS

BRUSSELS

I felt bad that I didn't have more time here. My entire trip, everyone who had met Geisha raved about how adorable and sweet she is. It's completely true. Sitting in the park my only night there, I had such a wonderful time just talking to her and laughing. I loved her adorable little attic apartment. Before bed, we chatted and drank wine. I really wish we would have had more time together, but I have a feeling that I will be inviting her to my new home very soon! (this has something to do with our mutual interest in Swedish and something I will write about very by the end of this blog!)


COOLEST EXHIBIT EVER

DEN BOSCH

Here, I had the extreme pleasure of staying a few nights with Waikiki along with Menina. This was an incredible experience. I've always been fascinated by communal living, and staying with Waikiki in a squat was just staggering. I was able to see how communal living functions in reality. Beyond that, she was just an amazing person. When I say amazing, I really mean AMAZING. She has so much drive and energy and is so beautiful. Between spending my time with her and Menina, I was in awe! Menina and I spent the day in town, laughing and shopping while Waikiki was busy working. She is the sweetest little Italian beauty. From them, I've learned how warm and motherly Italian woman can be.

(Secret surprise to come: I shot a set with Waikiki! I still can't believe how talented she is. I cannot wait for it to be ready!)


BOSSCHE BOLLEN (damn delicious!)

AMSTERDAM

This city was a blur, but not in the way that you think! It was toward the end of my 3rd week of traveling and I was beyond worn out. I spent the night with a friend of Waikiki and had a blast. The Red Light District was pretty disturbing. I know that I am nude on the internet for pretty much anyone to see, but I feel like the disconnection of being on the internet allows me to retain some sort of personal distance from the disgusting things some people may say about me. As we walked around in the R.L.D, I heard men saying such horrible things about those women. I couldn't stand it. Regardless, I found Amsterdam in the day time to be quite beautiful. It was even more beautiful when I was lucky enough to have lunch with Clio! It was like meeting a celebrity and finding out that they are so down to earth and awesome. Just an hour or so on a bench was a good time. She is so smart and fierce, on top of being stunning! Some women just give off a vibe of strength and she is one of them.

(SADLY, i deleted my pictures from Amsterdam by accident! )

COPENHAGEN

I only had about 6 hours here, and I desperately want to go back! I had had a miserable ride on a night train from Amsterdam, but I still had a great time walking around some great museums. My favorite museums, honestly. I definitely plan on returning to Copenhagen very soon!



FROM THE TRAIN

GOTHENBURG

I had met another person through the Wander app I mentioned in the section about Paris. He is an awesome guy and we really hit it off from the beginning. We started talking in January, and when I mentioned that I would be in Europe, he invited me to visit him in Sweden. I had always loved Scandinavian design, so I was really excited to visit Sweden. His band was releasing their CD, so I spent most of my time with a friend of his. I went to the release party and had an awesome time. Maybe too good of a time... I was so hungover the next day that I didnt make it to the train to Stockholm. His friend and I ended up relaxing on a blanket next to the harbor, just eating strawberries in the sun. It was one the best days of my trip. I liked his friend so much, I ended up staying an extra night, and had a very hard time leaving for Stockholm the next day...


FROM OUR BLANKET SPOT

STOCKHOLM

Miserably, I moved on to Stockholm. I spent my first night in Stockholm being mopey. I went to another show for my friend from Gothenburg and met more really nice people, but I was still down and out. The next day, I was determined to buck up and enjoy my last couple of days in Europe. I went to museums and walked around the city alone. That night, I asked my friend's friend to come to Stockholm. He was on the train the next morning and my heart raced as I waited on the platform to meet him. We spent my last two nights in Europe smiling at each other and sharing a tiny bottom bunk in a hostel.


COMIC BOOK STORE DATE


LOVE LIFE

Well, Stockholm stole my heart. The most beautiful city I've ever seen. Even when I was mopey, I still loved every second of it. I'm actually currently planning my move to Stockholm next summer.

The boy from Gothenburg who followed me to Stockholm? Well, he is actually coming all the way to Tennessee to stay with me for a couple of weeks before school starts back. I will be in Sweden this December for a few weeks. He is positively perfect.

IN SUMMARY

My life is wonderful...

the past couple of months have been pretty close to hell, but i'm finally starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

yesterday, i had a biopsy to determine the severity of what my doctor's believe to be cervical cancer. kind of a bummer. i feel like someone punched me in the vag. But it's a huge relief. I know that next Friday, I will know for sure whats going on and what my treatment will be.

From this, i've learned that i need to stop saying that someday i will have all of these grand adventures. who the fuck knows if you will be here tomorrow? that's why i've decided to buy a ticket to europe for May. i will be spending 3 weeks touring around the following countries:

France
Belgium
Netherlands
Germany
Denmark
Sweden

i've asked the girls in the SG lounge to give me ideas on the following things, but i would love any sort of advice:

must-see sights
museums
clubs
concerts/shows
tattoo parlors/artists

i'm a poor college kid, but im tired of living my life waiting for the "perfect opportunity."

here is my usual picture update:

i'm getting drunk, alone at 2am on tequila sunrises, watching the same episode of Futurama that i've seen at least 10 times. trying to figure out how to say something to someone...

enjoy a little bit of my body:

i don't have much to say. i haven't felt quite so vocal lately. you can always ask me questions or just pop into my life to chat if you want hope all is well, beautiful humanoids.

here are some photos of the past month:

i'm busy, i'm sorry...



















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been reading an excellent book:

"'I am twenty-five years old, and, although I am still young, I am beyond any doubt approaching the hour of my death.
I have suffered much, and I have suffered alone! Alone! Forsaken by everyone! My place was not marked out in this world that shunned me, that had cursed me. Not a living creature was to share in this immense sorrow that seized me when I left my childhood, at that age when everything is beautiful, because everything is young and bright with future.
That age did not exist for me. As soon as I reached that age, I instinctively drew apart from the world, as if I had already come to understand that I was to live in it as a stranger.''
— Herculine Barbin


good vibes for all. hopefully, i can come back soon.

i've been so busy that i have let my darling little bush get wild...



and it's amazing. my bush is possibly my best friend, that is, behind Absolution

speaking of, there may be amazing, wet fun coming from us soon. just let me say, it was dirty fun to get clean...

busy busy busy busy busy busy buzy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy....

i love it when you use a word so much that it begins to look foreign and incorrect. learning a new language, this happens to me often. i find myself misspelling words in english because i've confused it with french. i spell airport as aeroport all the time. it's like my ability to communicate is stuck in limbo between two languages and makes no sense to anyone. c'est d'accord. ces jours-ci, je prefere etre etrange.

there isn't really much to say, so here are some photos of my adventures:



















my garden is doing very well! we've been eating so much squash...














i wrote this a little while ago. i've been struggling with gender roles and social expectations for much of my life, especially growing up in the american south, aka the bible belt. i've see so many people trying to adhere to the constraints of what "makes" a man or woman and it drives me insane. this is just a quick rant about my personal experience:

I’ve started to lose touch with my feminimity. Not in a “ive been skipping the skirts and just wearing stretchy pants” kind of way. I’ve worn skirts, dresses, makeup, bras, all of it. It just doesn’t hold any connection to being female for me. I can look in a mirror and see all of the parts that are supposed to make me recognize that I am female in sex, but I just can’t make that connection. When I look at myself, I see skin, hair, muscles, bruises, scratches. My body has become about function and reactions to my environment. Nothing about my body suggests a sex to me. I’ve always struggled with being a slightly detached person, introverted in my true form, extroverted out of necessity to further myself in society. It feels as if my mind is starting to remove itself from my body. My body has simply become a protective shell for my mind, a way to feed my mind. A shell doesn’t require a gender I suppose. It’s just a matter of health. A matter of my body being strong enough to perform the actions my mind wishes. It’s like I’m that cockroach guy from Men in Black. Yeah, we’ll go with that halfassed humor and call it a night.

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here are some songs that i've been crazy about lately:


shew, such a handsome man and great voice.


i watched Heima recently and was just blown away. Iceland is so beautiful and Sigur Ros is a very talented band. Every time i listen to them, i want to invest in a nice pair of brushes for my drums.
i'm also pretty sure that the children in the video are awakening my ovaries. i've never been a fan of kids, but they are so precious.

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anyway, i hope everyone is doing well! enjoy everyday and be a positive force in the universe.

i know, i'm such a flake, but i have great reasons to not be on the computer!

1) I now work 3 jobs and im taking extra classes this summer, so i have zero time to sit down and actually type out a blog these days. I really apologize. You guys are all so nice and interesting that I actually miss interacting with everyone.



Job#3 is cleaning empty apartments before they are rented out.

2) There is a pretty lady that keeps me rather busy! It's been nice seeing her so much the past few weeks and going on adventures with her and her rad husband. If you aren't aware, Absolution is my absolute best friend.



She is so amazing, and has helped me through some tough times over the past couple of years.

3)CATS CATS CATS!









we have 5 cats all together. it's not as crazy as it sounds. we have a rather large house with a large basement that is storage and catzone.

4) my new passion: gardening! i can't get enough of it. i wake up everyday and just stare at my plants.


mammoth sunflowers! they have gotten even taller since i took this picture earlier in the week!


my veggie garden. corn, beans, and squash. i've never kept any plant alive (other than my bamboo from 5 years ago), so to see so many little plants flourish like this is just beautiful. friends who are growing gardens and i are going to trade produce for produce. i can't explain how much my garden means to me. i'm pretty sure they are growing on my good vibes!


just a close of up the corn! today, it was as high as my knees!

5) i'm trying to love photography and art the way i used to... before i became so busy... i'm not great by any means, but i love taking pictures with my shitty phone so much.









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good vibes for all of you. i truly wish everyone the best!

and i still really appreciate all of the love for my set in member review. it's going to stay up forever, bought or not. i just like to share little pretty parts of my life with you guys. if you haven't gotten to enjoy, or just want to enjoy it again, and again, and again, please click here:Milky Soft -Maslow

thanks to everyone who has commented, loved, hated, wanked it, or just admired my set in member review. i appreciate all of it. hopefully, i will have time to properly thank you all soon! very very busy.

now it's time to try to wake up and head to my 2nd job...



this is how i look when i don't want to wake up, but have to... so sleepy...