If You Grew Up In Rural Wisconsin :
* You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
* You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
* You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.
* You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
* You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm or Farm and Fleet.
* You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
* You hear someone use the word 'oof-dah' and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.
* You or someone you know was a 'Dairy Princess' at the county fair.
* You know that 'combine' is a noun.
* You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
* You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'prick'.
* Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
* A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
* Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
* There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning. And/or smelled like it.
* You have driven your pickup truck on the lake.
* You can make sense of 'upnort' and 'baatree'.
* Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
* Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
* The local gas station sells live bait.
* At least twice a year some part of your home double as a meat processing plant.
* You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
* You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
* You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
* You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.
* You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
* You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm or Farm and Fleet.
* You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
* You hear someone use the word 'oof-dah' and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.
* You or someone you know was a 'Dairy Princess' at the county fair.
* You know that 'combine' is a noun.
* You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
* You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'prick'.
* Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
* A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
* Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
* There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning. And/or smelled like it.
* You have driven your pickup truck on the lake.
* You can make sense of 'upnort' and 'baatree'.
* Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
* Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
* The local gas station sells live bait.
* At least twice a year some part of your home double as a meat processing plant.
* You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
Fire Line Road
My name is Alice Walker, they never told me why
I'm not named for anybody, it's a name out of the sky
They thought it was pretty I guess, way back when
I'll change it some day
I like to pretend, I'm Just a visitor here
Like on one of those shows
In a house full of people I don't hardly know
But we'll all get to home in a week or so
Back to real life
And I'm picking up the carpet in the corner where I crash
I'm too tired to separate the pennies from the trash
And I don't guess it matters even why Jesus died
I can tell you about sins
They got this duplex up on Fire Line Road
It's way out from town, so the rent's pretty low,
Not much more than a cinder block cell
Just like the one next door
And the next one as well
And the bus don't run out here but three times a day
The 7-11, it's a full mile away
And there's a car in the yard, mostly rust and dents
We moved here in it, but it hasn't run since
Forget my name, can you forget my face
Gonna lose myself in some finer place
Finer Places, where I'll go
I'll leave no trace out on Fire Line Road
And there's a pile of daddy's quick-picks scattered on the floor
Among the half empty bottles, that chair against the door
In case he comes home drinkin', with lovin on his mind
I'd never let it happen, but that don't stop him tryin'
My sister weren't so lucky, he got to her too soon
She never saw it coming, he knew just what to do
To keep her silent
I swear to god I'll kill him if I can
He said she made him do it, after all he's just a man
Forget my name, can you forget my face
Gonna lose myself in some finer place
Finer Places, where I'll go
I'll leave no trace out on Fire Line Road
Now she snorts that crank, and stares at the phone
She ain't big as a minute, just skin on bone
She bites her nails right down to the quick
And they've taken her babies, and they won't give them back
And I know she loves them and god knows she tries,
But when you're that far down you're just going to get high
It's like eating or breathing to the rest of us
She can't even feel bad without the stuff
Forget my name, can you forget my face
Gonna lose myself in some finer place
Finer Places, where I'll go
And I'll leave no trace out on Fire Line Road
My name is Alice Walker, they never told me why
My name is Alice Walker, they never told me why
I'm not named for anybody, it's a name out of the sky
They thought it was pretty I guess, way back when
I'll change it some day
I like to pretend, I'm Just a visitor here
Like on one of those shows
In a house full of people I don't hardly know
But we'll all get to home in a week or so
Back to real life
And I'm picking up the carpet in the corner where I crash
I'm too tired to separate the pennies from the trash
And I don't guess it matters even why Jesus died
I can tell you about sins
They got this duplex up on Fire Line Road
It's way out from town, so the rent's pretty low,
Not much more than a cinder block cell
Just like the one next door
And the next one as well
And the bus don't run out here but three times a day
The 7-11, it's a full mile away
And there's a car in the yard, mostly rust and dents
We moved here in it, but it hasn't run since
Forget my name, can you forget my face
Gonna lose myself in some finer place
Finer Places, where I'll go
I'll leave no trace out on Fire Line Road
And there's a pile of daddy's quick-picks scattered on the floor
Among the half empty bottles, that chair against the door
In case he comes home drinkin', with lovin on his mind
I'd never let it happen, but that don't stop him tryin'
My sister weren't so lucky, he got to her too soon
She never saw it coming, he knew just what to do
To keep her silent
I swear to god I'll kill him if I can
He said she made him do it, after all he's just a man
Forget my name, can you forget my face
Gonna lose myself in some finer place
Finer Places, where I'll go
I'll leave no trace out on Fire Line Road
Now she snorts that crank, and stares at the phone
She ain't big as a minute, just skin on bone
She bites her nails right down to the quick
And they've taken her babies, and they won't give them back
And I know she loves them and god knows she tries,
But when you're that far down you're just going to get high
It's like eating or breathing to the rest of us
She can't even feel bad without the stuff
Forget my name, can you forget my face
Gonna lose myself in some finer place
Finer Places, where I'll go
And I'll leave no trace out on Fire Line Road
My name is Alice Walker, they never told me why
Things really have changed for me, i never realized it, but i have been changing much in the last few years. I really liked going out and seeing my old friends and making new ones. We don't have a great night life were i live but we have some and i once in a while, i would head down to Madison or Milwaukee and hang out with my younger brother or my good friend TJ. We always found some good times and new friends, that was great. A couple years ago many things changed, alot of people i knew who were married and started having kids, no one wanted to socalize like we used too and that was ok to i guess, we all grow up, even if we try not to. Myself, however tryed fighting it. Now reality pays me back in full.
Ever since i got sick, going out really is not that all that appealling. I do spend more time sleeping and still manage to go to work every day. Last weekend i dug out my old rock climbing gear that i have not used in about 5 years and decided to give it a go, by myself(not smart). My little brother and i used to climb together all the time, however his wife of 5 years decided that he could no longer go climbing. I did scale a local cliff that i have always practiced on and then i reppelled down. I forgot why i enjoyed it so much before, it was great. It is only about 50 feet total drop but still pretty cool. I do recomend climbing for anyone, it is great. I spent all of saturday in the woods and on the rocks and i am planing on doing it again. Sunday really was a day of rest, but it was worth it. Hopefully in spring i can take a trip somewhere that has some awesome climbing, even if it is not all that challenging. I think i just like the ride down.
Ever since i got sick, going out really is not that all that appealling. I do spend more time sleeping and still manage to go to work every day. Last weekend i dug out my old rock climbing gear that i have not used in about 5 years and decided to give it a go, by myself(not smart). My little brother and i used to climb together all the time, however his wife of 5 years decided that he could no longer go climbing. I did scale a local cliff that i have always practiced on and then i reppelled down. I forgot why i enjoyed it so much before, it was great. It is only about 50 feet total drop but still pretty cool. I do recomend climbing for anyone, it is great. I spent all of saturday in the woods and on the rocks and i am planing on doing it again. Sunday really was a day of rest, but it was worth it. Hopefully in spring i can take a trip somewhere that has some awesome climbing, even if it is not all that challenging. I think i just like the ride down.
Yesterday was a picture perfect september day in central wisconsin. I did what i normally do this time of year and head for the woods. Put up one of my tree stands, as bow season starts already next weekend. Then i went for about a 3 mile hike. The clouds burned off and the sky turned blue and the forest came alive, many small animals where our getting ready for the change of season. Even myself, i forgot about my condition for a while and felt strong, health and fast. This morning, i am tired, sore and just wasted, don't think i will get much done today.
Still struggling through my situation, but i am feeling a little better. I have a weekend project just about done and that is great. Not sure how many more I will beable to accomplish before winter sets in. So it is a quite weekend and that is good, next weekned traveling to milwaukee to see my brother and his family. should prove interesting.
To day just about put me in a hole. My doctor put me on some new meds for my condition and wow they don't sit well with me. Tired and muscle aches, not sure what is next. I have been going to bed last couple of nights by 8pm and waking up more tired than i when i went to bed. shit is not good. I havent felt like anythig lately. My be the weekend will be better. Not planing anything.
I am still coming to grips with my condition and what will happen in the future to me, and it makes me wonder how someone who is an atheist would face the situation that people at the end of there lives face. Is there a last minute conversion, some hope of an afterlife? I myself find it easy to be believe that it is possible that there is a god and that there are other dimensions of existence. It is at least as believable as the outlook that everything in this world of ours happened by chance and all the conditions came together just right for life to happen. I am not sure if either answer covers all the questions i have but i guess i will find out eventually. I cant change it either way, and i am not really out anything by believing in god. I will stick to my position on that subject.
I would post this blog and ask the question on the atheist group site but in the past i have found that they don't like people that believe in anything and i don't feel like being attacked. It was just something i was thinking about.
I would post this blog and ask the question on the atheist group site but in the past i have found that they don't like people that believe in anything and i don't feel like being attacked. It was just something i was thinking about.
Ruby and Carlos
Chapter one
Ruby said you're getting us in a world of hurt
Down below the Mason dumbass line the food gets worse
I can't go back to Tennessee, that Nascar country's not for me
Go on if you think you must.
Carlos packed his drums up in the dark of night,
Ruby's standing just outside the front porch light.
Chain smoking Camel Straights, when the sky off to the east got gray
and he rolled off in a cloud of dust
The gray coat nickered at the gate.
She said you're right its getting late,
You and me got work to do
We can't be burning daylight too
She took down the long lead rope and stayed off that slippery slope.
The Aspen trees were turing gold up top
The talk was buzzing round the beauty shop,
wasn't he barely half her age, well that's just how they do nowadays
we should have all been so lucky.
By spring she had had the run of the freeborn men
Ruby turned fifty in a sheep camp tent
her body still could rock all night,
but her heart was closed and locked up tight.
Potatoes fields all muddy and brown the gossip long since quitted down
After one more Coggins test
pouring coffee for the county vet
pictures on the icebox door of Carlos in the first Gulf War
black eyed brown and youthful face smiling back from the Saudi base.
Then Carlos on the big bay mare, heavier now and longer hair
Looking past the saddle shed from way on back inside his head
And the old vet said "One day Rube that colt could break an egg in you,
now and then one comes along you just can't ride," and he went on home.
And the storm door didn't catch and blew back hard as she struck a match,
but she cuffed it just in time then she sent that ashtray flying.
Chapter two
Carlos took the road gig and he saw it through
he rode the tour bus while the singer flew
managed out of music row
Carlos never saw the studio
session guys had that all sewn up.
He looks out the window and it starts to sleet
Laying on a friend's couch on Nevada street
Lately he's been staying high, sick all winter and they don't know why,
they don't know why or they just won't say, they don't talk much down at the VA.
But Ruby's in his thoughts sometimes, what thoughts can get out past the wine
He feels her fingers on his brow and right then he misses how
she looked in that gray morning light she never shaved like they all do now
he sees it all behind his eyes and his hands go searching but they come up dry.
And halfway in that waking dream Carlos lets the landline ring
He'd never guess it was Ruby calling a pin in her hip from the gray coat falling
figure eights in a lazy rope stumbled on the slippery slope.
Holding back the flood, just don't do no good
You can't unclenched your teeth, to howl the way you should
so you curl lips around the taste of tears and hollow sounds
that no one knows but you, no one owns but you.
Chapter one
Ruby said you're getting us in a world of hurt
Down below the Mason dumbass line the food gets worse
I can't go back to Tennessee, that Nascar country's not for me
Go on if you think you must.
Carlos packed his drums up in the dark of night,
Ruby's standing just outside the front porch light.
Chain smoking Camel Straights, when the sky off to the east got gray
and he rolled off in a cloud of dust
The gray coat nickered at the gate.
She said you're right its getting late,
You and me got work to do
We can't be burning daylight too
She took down the long lead rope and stayed off that slippery slope.
The Aspen trees were turing gold up top
The talk was buzzing round the beauty shop,
wasn't he barely half her age, well that's just how they do nowadays
we should have all been so lucky.
By spring she had had the run of the freeborn men
Ruby turned fifty in a sheep camp tent
her body still could rock all night,
but her heart was closed and locked up tight.
Potatoes fields all muddy and brown the gossip long since quitted down
After one more Coggins test
pouring coffee for the county vet
pictures on the icebox door of Carlos in the first Gulf War
black eyed brown and youthful face smiling back from the Saudi base.
Then Carlos on the big bay mare, heavier now and longer hair
Looking past the saddle shed from way on back inside his head
And the old vet said "One day Rube that colt could break an egg in you,
now and then one comes along you just can't ride," and he went on home.
And the storm door didn't catch and blew back hard as she struck a match,
but she cuffed it just in time then she sent that ashtray flying.
Chapter two
Carlos took the road gig and he saw it through
he rode the tour bus while the singer flew
managed out of music row
Carlos never saw the studio
session guys had that all sewn up.
He looks out the window and it starts to sleet
Laying on a friend's couch on Nevada street
Lately he's been staying high, sick all winter and they don't know why,
they don't know why or they just won't say, they don't talk much down at the VA.
But Ruby's in his thoughts sometimes, what thoughts can get out past the wine
He feels her fingers on his brow and right then he misses how
she looked in that gray morning light she never shaved like they all do now
he sees it all behind his eyes and his hands go searching but they come up dry.
And halfway in that waking dream Carlos lets the landline ring
He'd never guess it was Ruby calling a pin in her hip from the gray coat falling
figure eights in a lazy rope stumbled on the slippery slope.
Holding back the flood, just don't do no good
You can't unclenched your teeth, to howl the way you should
so you curl lips around the taste of tears and hollow sounds
that no one knows but you, no one owns but you.
Bare with me please, if anyone should read this. I am trying to reinvent myself, which is something i seem to do every 6 years or so, don't know why. This time however, i have good reason, I seemed to befaced with my own mortality. You see, a while ago I found out that i have a acute and chronic illness, that is not affecting me know but will in the future. Good chance that it will shorten my life.
I have always been the luck person that could get into all kinds of life and death situations and seem to pull out of it. A couple of good crashes and different accidents, that could have ended my run here but I always pulled it off. This time, looks like there is no way around it, we all get sick sometime, some it is earlier than others. On the good side, it is not chatching but genetic in nature.
i look back at my life and i realize i could have done more for people, i should have had more friends and taken the time to make new friends. That is my loss. I am not sure where i am going here but i have to think and decide what i can do differently in my life.
I have always been the luck person that could get into all kinds of life and death situations and seem to pull out of it. A couple of good crashes and different accidents, that could have ended my run here but I always pulled it off. This time, looks like there is no way around it, we all get sick sometime, some it is earlier than others. On the good side, it is not chatching but genetic in nature.
i look back at my life and i realize i could have done more for people, i should have had more friends and taken the time to make new friends. That is my loss. I am not sure where i am going here but i have to think and decide what i can do differently in my life.
