I suppose I should update!

First, I'm posting from the Tropicana in beautiful Las Vegas! Thanks to my job, I get to travel. In case you're wondering, I work for a company that sells engraving machines. I've done it before, (in 2007), and it was the only thing I could find when I moved back home with my parents. It's taken me all over the country since January: Georgia, North Carolina, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, and Tennessee. This week is Las Vegas, next week is Louisiana.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I honestly don't know where I left off, or where I should begin. Probably the beginning, right?

Since 2005, I've been trapped in a very unhealthy relationship, which then turned into an unhealthy marriage. (Yes, still a relationship, although one to a degree that is MUCH more difficult to escape.) In 2010, I realized that I was miserably unhappy and becoming extremely depressed. I begged him for things to get better, to change, but to no avail. In December of 2011, I left. I packed up all my belongings, and all 5 of my critters, and moved back home with my parents and nephew. I've been there ever since. It's been a miserable journey to get back to where I am, but I'm doing it, and doing it alone. It's been quite the struggle: mom vs. me. I was so used to running my own household, that it was World War III just about every week. Me vs. Job. It took over a month to find a job, and even then, I begged for an old job back.

When I first moved home, I felt so ashamed. I was still dealing with the depression that was brought on by those years of neglect and abuse, and it wasn't getting better at home. There I was, 25, no job, no car, no place to call my own; living under my parents rule and roof. The really discouraging part was that at the age of 15, I had a job; by the time I was 16, I had 3 jobs, was going to school full-time, and saving to get my own vehicle, paying all of my own bills, (but really, what kind of bills does a 16-year old have?). Truth be told, I felt like a failure. I failed my marriage, I failed life, my friends, my parents, my family. Thank goodness I didn't have any children!! If I had, I would have felt even more like a failure.

To my surprise, I had rekindled friendships that I hadn't been able to participate in because of my marriage. And these friends were, and still are, more than happy to be of help to me. Since I haven't had the money or time to go car hunting, I had a friend that allowed me to borrow his truck so that I could get to and from work. I can never thank him enough for that, and I'm not sure he knows that.

Thanks to an ever-growing support network, I am, (slowly), getting back on my feet. I'm opening up more, and becoming myself again. I've decided I will not give myself entirely to one person ever again. I'm sure you know what I mean...you know how when you're with someone, you dive into it head first, becoming everything they want and need? You almost feel like you're losing yourself? Well, I did just that. I won't do it again.

So, back to Vegas. Yes, my job has brought me here. And, as soon as I get my passport, I'm sure it will bring me elsewhere. There really isn't any room for me to grow in this position, but it's fine. I've met some pretty awesome people along the way that are more than happy to have me.

I left my husband, but we are still married. I'm not sure what for, exactly. I do know he is getting help and trying to fix himself, which I'm proud of him for. Only time will tell if there will be anything left to salvage from this marriage.

Well, well, well! Sorry it's been a while!! Over a month, actually....I've been busy! My dearest friends have moved away. I hate it! It's so lonely without them! Two of my very good friends are gone back home for the summer. On a side note, I've started working at Teavana! I love it! If you haven't been to one, go check it out!! YUMMY loose-leaf tea!

One of the many awful things about Military life is that friends are always coming in and out of your life...literally. They come in, you get to know them, get attached and then POOF! They're gone! It makes me sad. Someone the other day told me that he has the utmost respect for military spouses especially, since we're the ones that hold it together, that gain these attachments, lose them only to find more. He was really sweet in saying that.

Anywho, not much to post: got a job (yay!!!), husband is coming home soon for vacation, (yay??) and I am lonely (booo!!).

How are you all?

Hello, June!! Welcome back!! I've missed your warm, sunny days.

On a side note, one of my dearest friends has moved....Ms. Sunshine247. I'm bummed, but I know that I'll see her again soon!! I'm hoping sometime this summer after her baby is born...we'll see if I have the money and time. I'm still looking for work. Right now, I'll be helping my friend, Lindsey, by watching her 3 kids so she can work. Yes, I'll be getting paid to do it, but not really that much as I'm trying to help her save money. I think I'll also look to other friends that may need sitters...I'll be cheaper than the CDC on post!! (Child Development Center)

I've had a few interviews and none of them have come through. It's kind of discouraging. I really REALLY need to work. I can't keep mooching off my husband. Not only that, being a housewife is just NOT my cup o' tea! The only good thing about it is that I get to go wherever and do whatever whenever I want. For instance, today is my friend, Julie's, birthday and we're going out to lunch. I couldn't possibly do that if I was working. (We're going to a great little Sushi/Hibachi restaurant; I've never been!! This should be interesting!!) Saturday night, I'm supposed to head to Louisville with some girlfriends for a night on the town. Jackie's husband is paying for us to get a hotel room that way we don't have to worry about driving the 45 minutes back to Fort Knox. Woo-hoo to drunken women!

I miss my family..LOTS. I broke down in tears yesterday because I miss my Pop. I talk to my Mom every day, (we're texters), but I never really get to speak to my dad. I called him yesterday to ask what his first car was, (1979 Chevy Vega, metallic orange), and our call was cut short because it was costing him lots of money. He was on location for work somewhere in New York along the Canadian border. Apparently the cell signals were coming from Canada for him, hence the costing lots of money. Anyway, we got off the phone and I realized just how much I miss him. We talk maybe once or twice a month and never really about anything big. I was talking to a friend afterwards and he said I need to go home...SOON. I agree. If only my husband would realize the same thing. He says I'm not allowed to go home because it's a long drive and we don't have the money for either gas or plane tickets. And because of the dog, I can't take a train. (He's not neutered, so I can't board him anywhere, either.) So, I'm stuck, homesick, in Kentucky. It's such a bummer. I want to see my nephew and see how big he's gotten. He's talking so much more now! I can only imagine the actual growth that's gone with it. Of course I want to see my parents! I'd really have no other choice seeing as they are raising my nephew. (My sister is a horrible person...but that's something for a different day. Let's just say that when people ask "How's your sister?" I say, "My what? I don't have one of those.") I want to see my grandparents, and perhaps some aunts and uncles and cousins. If I tell my parents when I'll be home, they will schedule a BIG cookout and invite everyone so that they can see me. It's always such a big welcome!! I feel like a celebrity. It's fantastic. We'll eat tons, (Mom is a HUGE cooking fan), and drink and swim and just be a family. It's awesome. I'm practically in tears now thinking about it. I miss them so goddamn much it's not even funny. Hopefully I get to go home soon!!!

That's my random rant for now. Hope you're all enjoying the summer weather and your families!!!

My newest adventure took me to Nashville, TN! It was fantastic!! I went down for my friend, Jenn's 35th birthday bash! On Saturday, we walked around downtown Nashville and went to Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. The stairs leading to the 2nd floor were piano keys that actually made sound when you stepped on them!! AWESOME! We saw some pretty cool things, including some biker dogs! (See below) We even took a carriage ride! Also, I went to see a psychic and got my palms read!! She said some pretty amazing things that I took to heart...a lot of people don't believe in them, but I do, especially after I didn't give her any personal information except my name!!! She definitely hit the nail on the head a few times...very scary!!

After walking around, we went back to the house and napped before the evening's festivities were to begin. We were supposed to go to a drag show since neither of us had ever been to one, but minds were changed due to lack of funds and we decided to go to a bar instead. This awesome little bar called The Rusty Nail. Outside was a tiki bar complete with sand pit, sand sculptures and a cornhole pit. (Until this weekend, I didn't know what cornhole was!) I didn't get to play, but that's ok, because inside was a rockin' 80's cover band called Rubiks Groove. I drank and danced the night away!! So much so, that I ended up in the bathroom, on the floor, puking into the toilet. Now, anyone that knows me well, knows that I absolutely abhor, loathe, hate, have nothing but disdain for public bathrooms!! But, what can ya do when you've downed too many drinks and shots to count and they suddenly decide to come back up?? Well, you suck it up and let it out!! Poor Jenn was supposed to be in my place, puking on her b-day, but instead it was me....she forgives me since she had such a fantastic time anyway! She held back my hair until I was done; comforted me when I slipped and smacked my nose on the back of the toilet, (OUCH!!! :blackeyed, then gave me a blanket and trashcan to puke in during the night. She took such good care of me when I should have been taking care of her. I told her I would make it up to her. I did, after all, have to buy her a new trashcan...

The great thing about me drinking is that I remember everything that happens during my drunken stupor. And after I've spent the night puking, I'm not hungover, not sore, not anything. Today, however, I am sore from all the upchuck. I'm hoping to get back to the gym tomorrow when I'm 100% again! I need to work off all the booze!

Hope you all out there in SG land had an awesome weekend!! I definitely hope you all remembered your Momma's yesterday!!

All in all, an amazing weekend!! I hope to do it again sometime!!!

Apparently when you're busy taking care of everyone else, you forget to take care of yourself and wind up sick. Monday night, after a weekend of painting my friend's new apartment, I came down with a sore throat. Yesterday, I had a fever that peaked at 103, but I was shivering I was so damn cold!! I was in and out of sleep all day, sometimes shivering uncontrollably, even with a heated mattress pad on, and other times I was sweating like a pig! YUCK. Let's not forget that I couldn't walk anywhere in the house without being propped up against something because the place just would not stop spinning!!! It was so bad, I didn't even want to get up to pee!!!

Today I went to the doctor's to see if I had strep; it came back negative. ARE YOU KIDDING?! My throat is so swollen on the left side that it's actually touching my uvula. I can't swallow anything it hurts so damn much! So, the doc sent me to the lab to get tested for mono. Awesome. Those tests haven't come back yet, but my white blood cell count is so high, she believes it's a bacterial infection and had me go back in to the hospital to get a shot; I think it was penicillin. The nurse said it was going to burn, but it didn't phase me at all. (I rock!) It was in my hip. Hopefully the swelling in my throat will go down. My pets are suffering for it. I've neglected the litter box, (stinky!), and my poor dog is going nutty, but I think that has a lot to do with the weather. Thankfully the house is not spinning and I'm not getting lightheaded as easily, so I'm going to do some basic cleaning up in the house....definitely no sweeping, mopping or dusting. Just some laundry, the litter box and the dishes.

My birthday was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!!! Thank you, Sunshine, for letting my mother get you involved in making it the most awesome birthday I've ever had! We went to dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant where balloons and an ice cream cake awaited me! My waitress was great! I asked her to make sure that all my margaritas were strong and she did! YAY! I definitely got TOASTED!! And I sang karaoke, (sick, mind you, but apparently I still rocked it!) Once they turned the karaoke off for the damn basketball games, (stupid final four...grrrr), we decided to leave so that I could continue on with my celebration. I know that I sat in the parking lot behind my truck, then stood up and began singing. My friends were definitely laughing at me. Sunshine had to go home, (bummer), but my friend, Lindsey, came to the bar on post with me and we danced and drank until the bar closed at 4 am! I didn't think you could still be drunk at 9:30 in the morning, but you definitely can! I slept the day away...it was my actual birthday and I spent it in bed! Another friend of mine took me out to dinner with her son, but I wasn't feeling good, so it wasn't that fantastic. All in all, it was an awesome weekend!!


This week, I've been pretty busy with my friend, Lindsey, and her kids. I think I've spent the whole week with them so far! Especially these last 2 days. They are insanely well-behaved! And they love me! So, that makes it even better. I've been neglecting the gym and feel nasty for it. I can't wait to get back! I've also been so busy, I haven't taken my poor pooch for a walk! Tomorrow he goes to the groomer for the first time! This should be interesting... I took him to the vet yesterday and found out he weighs 80 pounds!! He's getting so big! I remember when I brought him home in September and he was only 12 lbs!! Sometimes, I wish he was still that small!! But then I remember that I really don't like little dogs...that and he looks at me and I remember why I love him so stinkin' much with his tree trunk tail, too big ears and soulfull eyes. He's amazing!


Tomorrow is Lindsey's birthday, so we're going out to some clubs! Can't wait!! Although I'm DD, it should still be a rockin' time!!

What's everyone else up to this weekend??? Whatever it is, have a blast!!!!!!!

So, I'm a rock star!!!

At least I am at my favorite local Mexican restaurant! I went out with my pregnant girl, Trish, and another one of my friends, Jennifer. With these two, I was totally comfortable enough to get up on the karaoke stage and rock the fuck out! It was awesome!! Now all I have to do is figure out how to get the video off my phone and onto my computer...hmm...

So, Jennifer is moving to Nashville this weekend. It sucks. We just met in February, and we've only hung out twice, but it seems like we're going to be the awesomest, (yes, awesomest), of friends. She LOVES tattoos, and SG, but can't afford the membership right now..Boooo! She's totally kick ass anyway and we had a blast!! Margaritas ROCK! Right now, everything rocks!! I had 6 margaritas, and unfortunately, am no longer drunk or buzzed; just really tired. Like, really tired. But still, everything rocks. I'm in a fabulous mood! I woke up fabulous and jammed ALL day to 80's woman-power bands/artists...with a little Queen and Boston in the mix, too.

Anyway, the DJ requested that I come back Friday night for an encore performance! We'll see. My throat hurts and unless someone is buying, I'm gonna be one thirsty lady! In case y'all were wondering, I sang 3 songs and worked the crap out of them! Pat Benatar's Hit Me With Your Best Shot. Hell, I even air guitared!! (sober, mind you...) Peggy Lee's Fever, and I snapped and swayed, and caressed my body as if I was a jazz lounge singer! (If you're looking for a jazzy lounge singer, hit me up!!) And finally, Joan Jett's I Love Rock & Roll. I clapped, danced, jammed, pumped! It was awesome! It got the crowd (of 15 people lol) really pumped!

Trish is PCS-ing to Kansas soon! I think in June. Which sucks. We get along SO well. I haven't felt this way about a woman in YEARS. I really like her and am genuinely going to miss her company. All we do is giggle like school girls! Last night we locked ourselves in her bedroom for about 6 hours and just talked. We poured out some of our deeper secrets and cried. And then we spooned and I laid behind her rubbing her belly. She asked me to be the godmother of her baby, Jasmine!!! I was SO excited!! I still am!! I'm proud, honored and excited that she trusts me enough to take care of her baby like that!! She even told me she wants me in the delivery room with her!! AH! I'm so excited!!

And so, I'm rambling and I'm random. I am off to bed, SG World!

Thanks for reading! Hope you're all having an awesome night, morning, afternoon, whatever it is wherever you are!

Loves to you all!!

Thank goodness it's Sunday! Under normal circumstances, I love the weekends. However, since moving to Fort Knox, I don't. With my husband deployed and my stepson living with his mother, I am alone. I have friends, but they all have families and kids and therefore spend the weekends with them, so weekends leave me to my own devices. I don't do much except catch up on cleaning and laundry. Nothing exciting.

The weather has been warming up and it has been fantastic! Thursday, I worked in my front yard, cleaning the leaves out of the little garden and adding new mulch to it. Maybe if I plant something, they will grow this year? I'm hopeful! I have 2 very large pots to plant something pretty in. I'm not sure what to plant, though. Last year, I planted some bulbs, but the squirrels ate them, so I only had a handful of flowers grow. Damn squirrels. They are adorable, but oh so troublesome!!

Friday was a very girly day! I babysat my friend's 4 y/o daughter, Mar, and had a lunch date with 2 other friends and their daughters. Then my pregnant friend, Trish and her daughter Jaiden came to the park with us. Trish and I sat on the swings while the little ones played. It was amazing! I absolutely LOVE swinging. It's so invigorating!!

Hello Hello!!

Today has been a weird kind of day, and it isn't even over yet!! This morning started out crummy, as most rainy mornings do. And then I was getting harrassing texts from my stepson's mother, (damn, she's a piece of work!), and things just couldn't seem to go right! I took my friend to the OB for a normal check-up on her 24-week pregnancy and she started to cry!! Turns out she's a high-risk pregnancy; she has placenta previa, (in case anyone was curious), so she found out that she can't come to Aqua Zumba with me, (major bummer), and she's pretty much one step from bed rest! Poor girl! We're going to work through it, though.

Then the day turned. On her last appointment, she didn't get to find out what she's having, so we asked today and we were sent right over to the ultrasound room. She hopped on the table, bared her belly and soon enough we find out she's having a girl!!! YAY! We are both SO excited! I'm sure it sounds like we're a couple, but we're not. Her husband isn't one to go to all these appointments, so I go with her in his place for support and to ask any forgotten questions. Anyway, so we find out it's a girl and we scream with sheer giddiness! Then to top it all off, she's going to name the baby the name I picked out! Well, helped pick out, anyway. So, the baby will be Jasmine June. She had both of those names on a long list of names and couldn't decide, so I put them together, she liked the combination and BAM! Her baby girl has a name! On our way out, a guy in patient records went out of his way to help us, (I mean really out of his way). He took us before the other people in the waiting room, even though we were last. THEN on our way out of the hospital, another gentleman, (a very fine looking gentleman!!), helped us find an easier route out of the hospital. We both giggled and blushed at him. He was extremely yummy!! The kind of guy that has a bicep tat that just barely peeks out from under the sleeve of his tight fitting t-shirt. Did I forget to mention he was buff?? Not yucky buff, but well built.

All in all, it's a great day! Despite the baby-momma drama and the rainy start to the day, it has turned out to be sunny, warm and very pleasant!

Hope you all are having a great day, too!