Aims for 2007 -


1. Write a novel

2. Help my best friend in the whole world bring her baby into being

3. Eat a fuckload of amazing food

4. Convert Simon Amstell to heterosexuality so he'll marry me and make me with child. WHY O WHY DOES HE PREFER SHAGGING MEN TO CHASING LADYTAIL I ASK YOU.


*cries*




And a festive annual greeting to you all, too. x

Completely cactus* after an enormous Boxing Day and needing to run away to the country for NYE. Fuck standing around in St.Kilda waiting aimlessly for a taxi; I'm heading to a 50's cottage for a private food and wine festival. Hopefully someone will kiss me.



2006 is nearly over. For this I am pleased.





*this is an Australian expression which you may use at will.

What I would like for Christmas:

- new digital camera
- i-pod (mini, I'm not picky. Mine is behaving very erratically)
- all-expenses paid trip to Vietnam
- dinner with Martin Amis
- new knickers
- endless amounts of tongue-kissing.


What I will get for Christmas:

- novelty straws shaped like penises
- a 'beer bong'
- soap
- cheese
- bottle of Scotch.




All in all not a bad result, really.

Why have I accepted so much work just before Christmas? I'll be taking five days off over New Years to have a private food and wine festival in the hills, hopefully with some requisite skinny-dipping. BUT I HAVE TO TAKE MY COMPUTER WITH ME.



I really didn't think this through at all, did I?




And so the Melbourne summer swelters...

Last night I had to attend a literary speed dating night at the State Library, the premise being that you brought your favourite novel with you and would bond with a member of the opposite sex over your love of fine literature. No I am not desperate, I am writing an article about it and was 'undercover' DON'T JUDGE ME.


Anyway. It was just about the longest evening of my life and I am never speed-dating again upon pain of death. Surely hot boys read books too? I know they fucking do; I've met them. I guess they were too busy getting laid/reading to show up.

oh dear. THREE MONTHS without posting a blog; surely baby jesus is crying somewhere. I have been doing some travelling and am of course hugely apologetic for letting my SG account slide. My intentions have been entirely honourable (if a little dishevelled). I promise I won't let it happen again.


Are we still friends?



In other news, the Russian Roulettes are starting a December Saturday afternoon residency at The Tote and you should all come have a beer. Unless of course you're going to Meredith next weekend in which case I SHALL SEE YOU THERE.

Back in town, albeit briefly...this site feels like a world away. Heading off to Sydney tomorrow for work. Am also on the judging table for Friday night's Burlesque Battle Royale 2 at the Spanish Club, so if you're in the neighbourhood drop by and pinch me on the bottom.



I have absolutely no idea why they've asked me to be a judge. I know dick about burlesque or dancing or any of that shit. I do, however, know quite a bit about cute girls in knickers, so there shouldn't be an issue there.

I am currently on my national tour...3 days in Sydney, a night in Brisvegas and at the obscene time of Saturday 7am I head to Darwin for two weeks. Will do my best to update from the Northern Territory but I may instead be busy wrestling crocodiles with my bare hands/living in a campervan with my parents*.


During this time I will have meetings, write articles for newspapers and magazines which will hopefully be received with grateful gasps, bathe in hot springs and follow in the steps of my grandfather. It should be quite a journey.


That said, there's something about Melbourne and missing my dog I just can't shake.



Take care out there....






*these activities are surprisingly similar.

Finally, reaching out of the internerd and into real life...


Had a fucking sweet time on Saturday night meeting various Aus SG's. Pizza, liquor, Hell City Glamours, general ladybonding...ending with 2am hot chocolates and peking duck* at the high-falutin' Supper Club.

Many high-speed OMFG-type conversations, salacious tale-swapping, grand plans for multigirl sets - it was so lovely to be squeezing arms with such an array of hot mamas.


So thank you ms Teigra, ravishing Allura, sunshine Lelaina, foxy Christina (tennis anyone?) and pocket dynamo MadDame. Let's meet again as soon as possible for mojitos and high tea.

x






*this combination is not actually as repulsive as it sounds. OPEN YOUR MIND, FOR FUCK'S.

Just found out my ex reads this. So I'm self-censoring. Looks like I'll have to find some other secret blog out there to express the deep dark secrets.


Either that or I could just write in my fucking diary like a normal person.