drunk. at least enough. Listening to Giant - Song. The name of their band is now Braveyoung. This record is timeless. Epic, tragic, wonderful... I'm in the downward phase. I can get out of it. I just have to exist for a few more miserable days til I find something to be excited about aside from music. Music tends to give me the strength to continue. Not to always exist but to continue when everything gets worse. I know I have music to rely on. It's the only guarantee. I wish my roommate was always available cuz if anyone knows me, it's him but everyone else ignores it as much at possible til I bring it up to them face to face. Whatever. I'm a bit depressive. get over it. I do. Every month or 2 i get a couple days of extreme shit but it always works out. I'm not the kind of person do give up. I'm gonna keep rambling. fuck it. I'm gonna finish this beer and go to bed. I hope i don't get sick.

why is it that girls are attracted to guys that bring them more pain than joy or happiness. It's bullshit. I could treat every girl I meet like shit and get laid more than ever but I can't bring myself to sink that low. Believe it or not I actually respect people. I respect their boundaries and limitations and I don't go where I'm not welcome because I have a little thing called class and dignity but apparently that doesn't count for shit in this world. Relationships be damned. I'm gonna become a hermit. Fuck everyone.

Listening to Struck by Lightning. Just a ridiculous record. I fucking love it. It's not helping my depression much but that's ok. I need the down to feel the up. Just enjoy what you can until it all works out. And it will. I have faith in that. I have faith only in that. only. getting drunk again. not a good idea. but gonna go play MTG tomorrow morning with my friend and cousin. should be a good time. hopefully I can live up to what's goin down. goodnight.

got back from california, car got towed the day after i left. awesome $236 down the drain to get my own property back from the city of minneapolis. go fuck yourselves. eat shit. god fucking damnit.

Otherwise, excellent trip. my brother rules. I wish I lived there with him. I'd probably be a much happier person. I'm so discontented where I am. Must do something. Must do anything. Cult of luna really does help though. Excellent band. Moving music.

no date. total lie. flake flake fake. but i guess that's how you should treat people. I will never succumb to that bullshit. I treat people the way I want to be treated and I always will. It's not common sense or even common courtesy, it's just people knowing that they should be polite or considerate. and I'm sorry but if you can't even accomplish that, then you really do suck at life. Just be decent in any way shape or form. or is you can't just fuck off, I don't have time for people that show me their true/terrible colors. fuck right off.