Well lets start with the name change, A friend of mine visited my house for the first time a few months ago and upon seeing my huge collection of hats dubbed me a Mad Hatter and it sorta stuck, I don't mind s I love the Mad Hatter. Work is going pretty good and we are almost done with repairs from the flood. The Knights of Columbus are starting a council here so I have decided to join. Choir will be good from the sounds of it this Christmas so long as nothing goes wrong (knock on wood) like me losing my voice or really shitty weather. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna sty at this church though as I am not made to feel welcome due to my piercings and tattoos and cloths.
Well it's been a while since I posted. Work is going pretty good, I do loves my job. I am moving out hopefully next month as soon as all the plans are set and the holidays are over. I am only moving a couple towns over though as I don't wish to be far from family and friends or leave my job at the library. I have decided to go to school to become a librarian and am working towards that as we speak, I will still continue in business for my undergrad at ECC and then go to Buff. for my Library Sciences degree. Also on a different not it is officially the Christmas season as I heard my favorite Christmas song on the radio today, Snoopy vs. The Red Baron by the Royal Guardsmen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jlf---13Q0g
And I got my first prezzie thanks to my Secret Santa, which made my day and my week since it hadn't been going well. Thanks again for that.
Well bed time but I shall try to write more as I get more time.
Jay
And I got my first prezzie thanks to my Secret Santa, which made my day and my week since it hadn't been going well. Thanks again for that.
Well bed time but I shall try to write more as I get more time.
Jay
Wow lots of stuff going on some good some questionable. The guy I really can't stand at work is quitting I only have to work with him three more times!! My Aunt is back from her trip but is not being uber bitchy so that falls in the questionable list. I found all this gay pride literature at work (I work in a library) I wish I had found stuff like this in high school, I realize that being Bi is not special or important to anyone, but it was hard figuring things out I always knew that boys were just as pretty as girls to me but I didn't know it was ok until I went to college and met the first guy I ever really had a crush on. My friends keep telling me that I am not normal and need to pick one or the other but I don't have a preference I think boys are hot and I think girls are hot I could be happy with either (except for the fact that men always lie). It's weird but these books are helping me be alright with who I am. It sucks too because to most straight people I am a fag but if I try to talk to a gay person I am just a pretender who doesn't matter. Except for R. he just was there for me while I had this huge crush that I was too afraid to tell him about (he knew anyway, some of our mutual friends noticed and told him because they didn't want me or him to get hurt). I guess I am just being whiny, sorry bout that. I hate that I can't just pick a team and play, because apparently it's wrong. Ugh will write later aain I guess.
Jay
Jay
So yea my friend who is so close she is like a sister decided to bitch me out because my job is not really a job and involves no work and I have had it so I told her she eaither loves me as I am smoking working at the library etc. or we can't be friends.
"Well firstly I didn't realize it was a sin to hit reply you were talking to me on myspace so I just replied. But I'm a drama queen because the reply wasn't sorry I guess, I didn't mention my job being difficult at all I gave a reason why it can take me so long to reply to messages or texts. I am not supposed to use my phone at work un less it's really necessary. I am sick of having to constantly justify my life/lifestyle to you, no matter what I do I am "lazy, unambitiouse, unmotivated, immature etc." I work damn hard for my pay and that's not including the fifteen or so extra hours I work to prepare for the three programs I run every week. I also spend at least two hours a day moving books around and I don't mean a few at a time but fifty to one hundred pound boxes, I spend several hours checking call numbers and filing books. It can take up to three hours to locate a call number in another library's system. then texting me when you know I'm asleep is childish, I don't get up t six in the morning nor do I go to bed at nine. I am not sorry for how I live MY life and if you love me you'll take me as I am, because I am done being sorry for my life I am who I am and I have no regrets. I love you but I can't just let you sit in judgment of me and try to make me feel like shit.
Jay"
I feel this isn't as mean or what ever as I could be so I sent it hoping she would see my point of view.
her reply:
"When the hell have I ever called you lazy, unambitious, etc? um� NEVER!!! Why? Because friends don�t do that shit. I�ve tried to push you to move away from Mikey because she makes you so pissy. Guess what Celeste has tried to help you too. Do you hate her now too?
What about when I texted you at 1PM or what about texting me after work?
It doesn�t matter. You don�t care about anyone but yourself, you never have, and you never will. When you grow up give me a call and we�ll hang out sometime. I�ll be here taking care of my family and trying to make something of myself.
Fuck you!"
So yea when I hope she means besides this letter which implies all that and mor, but how about when I didn't want to go to college, or when I worked at the restaurant. I hate that it's always got to be her way or the highway, quit smoking or we can't be friends, ask me before you dump your girlfriend, she even got pissede because I wouldn't take her rout to visit her brecause i like mine better. I am fucking sick of apologiseing for everything I do I can't keep this shit up I gotta be who I am and if people do not approve tough shit. Then I guess I'm a selfish fuck and I'll get mine eventually cuz I guess karma owes people like me a cosmic ass raping that I can't even imagine.
"Well firstly I didn't realize it was a sin to hit reply you were talking to me on myspace so I just replied. But I'm a drama queen because the reply wasn't sorry I guess, I didn't mention my job being difficult at all I gave a reason why it can take me so long to reply to messages or texts. I am not supposed to use my phone at work un less it's really necessary. I am sick of having to constantly justify my life/lifestyle to you, no matter what I do I am "lazy, unambitiouse, unmotivated, immature etc." I work damn hard for my pay and that's not including the fifteen or so extra hours I work to prepare for the three programs I run every week. I also spend at least two hours a day moving books around and I don't mean a few at a time but fifty to one hundred pound boxes, I spend several hours checking call numbers and filing books. It can take up to three hours to locate a call number in another library's system. then texting me when you know I'm asleep is childish, I don't get up t six in the morning nor do I go to bed at nine. I am not sorry for how I live MY life and if you love me you'll take me as I am, because I am done being sorry for my life I am who I am and I have no regrets. I love you but I can't just let you sit in judgment of me and try to make me feel like shit.
Jay"
I feel this isn't as mean or what ever as I could be so I sent it hoping she would see my point of view.
her reply:
"When the hell have I ever called you lazy, unambitious, etc? um� NEVER!!! Why? Because friends don�t do that shit. I�ve tried to push you to move away from Mikey because she makes you so pissy. Guess what Celeste has tried to help you too. Do you hate her now too?
What about when I texted you at 1PM or what about texting me after work?
It doesn�t matter. You don�t care about anyone but yourself, you never have, and you never will. When you grow up give me a call and we�ll hang out sometime. I�ll be here taking care of my family and trying to make something of myself.
Fuck you!"
So yea when I hope she means besides this letter which implies all that and mor, but how about when I didn't want to go to college, or when I worked at the restaurant. I hate that it's always got to be her way or the highway, quit smoking or we can't be friends, ask me before you dump your girlfriend, she even got pissede because I wouldn't take her rout to visit her brecause i like mine better. I am fucking sick of apologiseing for everything I do I can't keep this shit up I gotta be who I am and if people do not approve tough shit. Then I guess I'm a selfish fuck and I'll get mine eventually cuz I guess karma owes people like me a cosmic ass raping that I can't even imagine.
Home sick 
from work today, I hate being sick. Have to try to make it to a dinner tonight for the teachers and see if I can make it through. meh.
Jay
from work today, I hate being sick. Have to try to make it to a dinner tonight for the teachers and see if I can make it through. meh.Jay
I don't know what the problem is really, Andi was a good person but she wasn't good for me. I feel like I am waiting for some thing, no someone and I don't know where to look. All I know is I am tired of random hookups and relationships revolving around sex. I want a partner to share ups and downs with, I want a best friend. Instead I am just the friend or just a placeholder until a "respectable" boyfriend comes along, like having tattoos and wearing leather makes me a bad person. The last thing Andi said was that I am too small town for her, and that my jacket and patches prove it. What the hell is wrong with liking my small town it's not like I never leave. I don't know. I think I quit. 
Jay
Jay
Just saw Angels and Demons, it was amazing loved it!!! It had everything I could want in a movie!! Action drama and suspense. The final plot twist even surprised me as I thought that had been made impossible by other events!!!! I wanna see it again!!!
Bed no gotta sing in the morning
Jay
Bed no gotta sing in the morning
Jay
I took a quiz to see what kind of fantasy creature I am, of course my result is from Ireland.
You are a phookah! Phookas are mischevious and roguish tricksters who can appear in the form of a horse, rabbit, goat, dog, or sometimes even human. On occasion, a phookah can be persuaded to give advice and has been known to shepherd people away from great danger. Phookas have a monkey like appearance, with thick black fur and large, rabbit like ears. They generally have green eyes, and are very sociable. Like dragons, they have a fondness of riddles, but unlike dragons, they are very sociable. Phookas are witty and have few family members, but hundreds of friends which they enjoy getting together with. (Especially if it is to play a prank on any unsuspecting humans.)
You are a phookah! Phookas are mischevious and roguish tricksters who can appear in the form of a horse, rabbit, goat, dog, or sometimes even human. On occasion, a phookah can be persuaded to give advice and has been known to shepherd people away from great danger. Phookas have a monkey like appearance, with thick black fur and large, rabbit like ears. They generally have green eyes, and are very sociable. Like dragons, they have a fondness of riddles, but unlike dragons, they are very sociable. Phookas are witty and have few family members, but hundreds of friends which they enjoy getting together with. (Especially if it is to play a prank on any unsuspecting humans.)
