SuicideGirl: Lyxzen
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Lyxzen DARES you to hit the friend request button. DOOO EEEEEET!

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JUL 19, 2008
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Blog Post
Wednesday
JULY 23, 2008 @ 12:35 AM

i am going to tell you this, SG, because i have been trying to pretend it isnt real, &i need to face the music, then re-focus on the positive things in my life.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
last week i got the results back from my last lady-doctor visit: they found pre-cancerous cells in my cervix.

im fucking terrified, but trying to convince myself im not. i keep thinking that if i accept this, if i say it out loud, im surrendering. i dont want to believe it. i dont want to accept it. i havent even told my mom.

after almost a full week of crying a whole lot, shitty sleep, &wishing the one person who could bring me any comfort at all were here with me, i have a plan. ive started a high-alkaline diet, im calling the doctor tomorrow to schedule the biopsy, &im NOT letting this thing ruin my life.


i have too many other good things going on right now. i have too much positive energy surrounding me to let this one scant misfortune get the best of me.

i have the most amazing friends anyone could ask for.

(shes one of the most beautiful people i know, inside &out.)





im going to hawaii in december with these weirdos:


i have a job i love.

&im starting a second job in a few days, &i think im going to love that one, too.

i have a photo exhibition the first week of august.


i love this city more &more every fucking day.


&im still going to walk across this fucking country next year, whether the doctors like it or not.


&. when im settled back down after my walk, i want to get a pet skunk.


in the meantime, i still have prints left, so if you want to help me pay for my biopsies &other medical expenses, please buy one! my cervix will love you forever.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)



eat a dick, cancer.

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Comments
kingoftown

kingoftown

Cleveland, OH
October 2005

JUL 23, 2008 06:42 PM

wow. quite a read.

i think it's imperative that you attack it head on and not try to hide anything. the sooner you react and prevent the better off you are gonna be. hang in there buddy. biggrin

harshrocker

harshrocker

Fredonia, NY
November 2004

JUL 23, 2008 07:55 PM

That's rough, but it sounds like you're ready to deal with it. Best of luck and good will.

catdad

catdad

Portland, OR
August 2002

JUL 23, 2008 08:28 PM

Pistolita went through that last year or the year before. I know she made some diet changes and used a lot of positive thinking. And if I remember correctly, mushrooms played a role in it. [result may vary with that one] Anyway, you might ask her about her experience.

Lots of random and not so random people thinking positive thoughts for you. Stay strong.

Flashmo

Flashmo

Pocatello, ID
May 2007

JUL 23, 2008 08:53 PM

Sorry to hear about the test results, hopefully the biopsy will come back clean.

It is nice to see such a positive attitude, and hear about all of the good stuff going on.

Stay positive, no matter the result.

Casper

Casper

SUICIDEGIRL

Oregon, USA

JUL 23, 2008 10:00 PM

whaaat?

cancer? whoa... i wouldnt have ever imagined that, just from sitting across from you for that hour or so... youre so full of life!

chieffan13

chieffan13

Choctaw, OK
June 2005

JUL 24, 2008 12:35 AM

live one day at a time, is the best advice i can give! never give up! kick some ass lady!!

Elvira

Elvira

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

JUL 24, 2008 07:22 AM

oh god, i had to deal with that shit as well...damn it and i kick its ass
everything´s going to be fine, just keep the faith wink

missredcherry

missredcherry

United Kingdom
March 2005

JUL 24, 2008 11:57 AM

kick ass!

Peyote

Peyote

SUICIDEGIRL

Arizona, USA

JUL 24, 2008 12:04 PM

Such a lovely woman going through the lowest of lows in life, only makes you THAT much lovelier inside and out because of your attitude.

dragonflower

dragonflower

Austin, TX
January 2007

JUL 24, 2008 02:59 PM

eat a dick, cancer, indeed!!! tongue
it is good to be you, i'm sure of it. kiss

MrGinger

MrGinger

Portland, OR
November 2003

JUL 24, 2008 04:15 PM

Positivity!

BKWill

BKWill

Hunter, NY
October 2002

JUL 24, 2008 08:38 PM

You can only be positive, there is no other way to face this. Don't pray for miracles, take it one day at a time. You should listen to and/or read Alan Watts. I recommend the Taoist Way. Some really powerful stuff if you are open to that. wink

BKWill

BKWill

Hunter, NY
October 2002

JUL 24, 2008 08:42 PM

I can send you some links if you'd like to listen. There is also a good podcast available for free through iTunes.

FrankDelgato

FrankDelgato

Aquashicola, PA
November 2007

JUL 24, 2008 11:01 PM

Cancer can eat a dick, but not mine. Be a totally defiant bitch to it. You have a sound strategy and a good mindset, hang in there!!

You future pet skunk needs you! I hear they're cool, they're related to ferrets and whatnot...

Charm

Charm

SUICIDEGIRL

Italy

JUL 25, 2008 02:53 AM

darling, if you need anything im here.
im back on the west coast and was going to head to portland sometime...
seriously...
*HUGS*

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