so i may have to strip outside buckingham palace today. which, in all honestly, probably isn't the smartest thing to do, but i've got to say, i'm a little exited.

this is obviously the exhibitionist in me breaking out.

just to go back and explain, i have a photoshoot with a lovely american gentleman today. oh and my set is still in member review, so have a look.

on a less happy note, my friend liv's mother died yesterday.she was only 55, and liv is only 17. it's all very sad indeed.

so obviously this led to a horrific amount of tears last night, from everyone; although my stupid boyfriend wasn't here for me to cry onto. he's not really stupid, just a bit useless.

the worst bit was my mum. she like refused to come out of the bedroom all night, and when she did, she was all puffy and purple, and my mother NEVER cries.

so you may have noticed that i have a new set in member review.

it's called 'corricote', after the name of my house, and me and akemi had a lot of fun shooting it, so it'd be awesome if you could check it out.



thank you so so much for all the amazing comments people have left so far, i really really hope it gets accepted, but there are just so many great sets out there at the moment.

in other news, i had an amazing day, and a terrible day, all at the same time.

i typed this into my phone, but somehow i just couldnt send it. it gives me a little piece of mind that someone might read it at least, like validation that i feel the way i do.

i am letting you go.

so here are some photos from the set that the beautiful akemi shot for me last thursday.





i hope hope hope it gets accepted.

EDITED to say, i checked the member review queue and it goes up at 5 a.m on the 1st of july! i'll be counting down the days! i hope you like it.

xx

so here's the incriminating evidence that i'm actually a complete idiot.

apparently, i can't tell the difference between normal black tarmac road, and red bus lanes.

fuck.



in better news, i shot a set with the gorgeous akemi today. i made her tea and everything. i've gotta say, i'm pretty damn excited.

i shall post preview photos as and when i get them.


also, i got a text today that said, "your smile makes me melt a little, it's the way the sides of your mouth curl slightly before you break into a laugh "

and he isn't even remotely obligated to be nice to me. he gives me butterflies.

off to le pub to get stupidly drunk and celebrate my train wreck of a life.

tata!

MY LIFE IS MY OWN AGAIN.

hurrah.

no more college, ever again. bring on the longest summer ever, full of sun, sex and loose morals.

i can honestly say, i couldn't be more excited..

this time tomorrow i shall be in greece.

family business. my sister's baptism is sunday, so i basically just used it as an excuse to buy a fantastic new dress.

i think i've had the most stressful week of this year. everything went so wrong, and then it all suddenly went so right. i still have a long way to go, but i can see the end, and it doesn't look so scary at all.

i am shooting a new set with akemi on thursday, at my humble abode, and am already deciding whether to do staff review again, or throw myself to the wolves in member review. i shall see how i feel when the set is shot.
i had a few weeks where i had a gazillion photoshoots, and now i have none booked. it's amazing, in a way, becuase i get to relax. although, i'm seriously missing the money. i might actually have to turn up at work sometime soon.

i tried several times to write a blog this week, but every time i typed it out and read it back, i sounded like an idiot. i thought it was better to go MIA, than write a bunch of bullshit that i resented.

"And we stood at your door, with your hands on my waist.
And you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew...that you meant it. "


somebody text me this, and i can't think about anything else but them thesedays.

Hey, I guess I'll figure it out
The reasons why things went the way they did
And why we can't accept it
We'd fall asleep, but not before we exorcised the evil thing that everyone hides
We would lie there in my bed,
Do you remember all those nights we never slept
No clothes, sweaty, doing all the things I never thought I'd do
And I did them with you

And hey, don't feel bad.
No one can ever take away the boardwalk trips or the subways
I think we grew up past the hang-ups and the evil stares,
The fuck you toos and I don't cares
We would lie there in my bed
Do you remember all those nights we never slept
No clothes, sweaty, doing all the things I never thought I'd do
And I did them with you

Hey, I guess I'll figure it out
The reasons why things went the way they did
And why we can't accept it
We'd fall asleep, but not before we exorcised the evil thing that everyone hides
We would lie there in my bed,
Do you remember all those nights we never slept

And even though we brought it crashing to an end I loved it all
And now I love my friend
I loved it all, I loved the girl, I loved my friend

this song actually makes me so sad.
it came on in my car after going out last night and i was like ohhh.

the last few days have been awesome, i can't wait til the end of college- only one official day left!
and i totally did some work yesterday and the day before. it's all back on track,
thank you for all your support!!!!!!!!!!

kisses xx

i feel like shoving my grandmother into a closet and leaving her there forever.

my week of relaxation is not exactly going to plan.
i miss lee(boyfriend) terribly, and it kiiinda hasn;t helped that when i spoke to him he told me about all these english girls at his hotel that they've been hanging out with and getting stupidly drunk with. being on a guy's holiday, of course that's what's going to happen. and it's not like i don't trust him, i just wish i was having that much fun.

i've done no college work. and i have three days left of college, my garment to finish, my board to paint, and my sketchbook to fill up. shit.

scrath that, two and a half days of college left. i forgot i'm helping someone with an interview at MAC tomorrow.

my grandmother IS driving me insane though. every five seconds she's having a go at me about something new. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i'd better start my patchwork. i feel sick at the thought of facing my tutors. please don't let me fail, i need to pass to get into uni.

i have a whole week to myself.

no parents, and no boyfriend.

i'm going to miss them, but it's awesome just to have a whole week to chill the fuck out.

i haven't taken any photos recently, my camera has been lonely.
i think my life has been way too dull to document. it's almost like i don't want to have any evidence of how boring this week has been; as usually i take photos every day.

i'm just sitting listening to jack's mannequin in my underwear, eating some frozen yoghurt and drinking orange juice out of the carton. this is the life.
[edited to add some photos that i just got from a photographer]











i threw a nudey one in there, i'm in that kind of mood today.

i'm such a narcissist.

i never thought i was vain, but i am unbelievably so. and definitely pretentious at times. i wonder when i turned into all the people that i laugh at?

i had a photoshoot today with can evgin. he was awesome.
we had a wonderfully funny time. although, i couldnt find his apartment, and i burst into tears in the middle of london because none of the buildings had numbers. so a nice gentleman came and helped me find it.

so keiko's thingymajiggy was last night, and i met some very funny people.

i almost fell asleep on the road driving home though, and i managed to get alllll the way back with my petrol gauge on empty.

that was fifty miles. pretty impressive eh? i did drive about 22 mph though. alllllll they way back.

lee is coming over now i don't know why i'm so excited. i'm weird.












the guy above was awesome. and Bow's face as he was talking to her was just priceless.

good times.

my grandmother has left some horrific war programme on. but i'm far too lazy to turn it off.

i've given up chocolate for my pseudo lent. pseudo lent is basically where i want to go on a diet, but don't want to admit to myself that i've gained weight, it all makes sense in my head, but i think i'm going slightly crazy. just maybe.