Sorry I haven't been around recently, but I've been in a bit of a funk and I don't really think I've come out of it. I'm kinda "down". I think it's culture-shock; the area I'm now forced to live in is finally starting to get to me. Well, no, it's not the AREA I have a problem with. Other than the occasional flood there is nothing geographically wrong with this AREA. It's the fuck-tards and half-wits that seem to inhabit this area with alarming frequency that have me pulling at the phantom hairs that used to grow on top of my head.
It all started with the election. Last Tuesday was a bad day and my quality of life has been less than satisfactory ever since. To wit:
1) Tuesday: Bush wins election. Evangelical Christians everywhere rejoice by burning copies of Darwin's "Origin of the Species".
2) Wednesday: Intern who is supposed to cover my last class of the day does not. I get yelled at by the Headmaster when I return.
3) Thursday: Other intern who is supposed to cover the same class does not. I get yelled at by the headmaster.
4) Friday: Leave for Philly. Turns out third and final intern who is supposed to cover the ever-troublesome final class does not cover it.
5) Sunday: The Eagles get stomped like a narc at a biker ralley. It's EMBARRASING how awful they looked.
6) Sunday ptII: Still in Philly. Was assigned to be on duty back at school but another teacher was supposed to cover for me. Guess what happens? Yep - he forgets until the day is almost over then asks if he's needed. Which means:
7) Monday: First thing that happens at 7AM when I return to work is get CHEWED OUT by the headmaster for not having coverage on Friday and Sunday. When I explain that I was supposed to and that certain people clearly forgot to do their jobs he tells me that I obviously need to go yell at some people for dropping the ball and then ends the conversation by pointing his gnarled, wrinkly finger at me saying, "Get it together."
8) Monday PtII: Students and faculty (who are almost all Steelers fans) spend all day telling me how much the Eagles suck and how great the Steelers are and "Did you see how badly they lost?! Man, your team SUCKS!" All this AND I'm unable to tell them to go fuck themselves.
9) Monday ptIII: Student is fucking around, acting like a prick to another student so I intervene. Instead of offering apologies he tells me I'm acting "stupid", I "Don't get it" and begins to walk away. I stop him and tell him not to walk away when I'm talking to him. He then proceeds to litterally get "all up in my grill" trying to stare me down, acting as if he's going to "start something". I get nervous not because I'm scared of this kid, but because the day has been so shitty and I'm so incredibly furious at this kid that if he did start something I don't think I could control my temper and would, inevitabley, hurt this teenage punk by doing something uncalled for such as choking the shit out of him or repeatedly smashing his face into the ground. Fortunately the situation resolves without him receiving many stitches, but it's a truly crappy end to a truly crappy day.
10) Tuesday: I find out a Jefferson Med student was blugeoned to death a block and a half from my house in center city Philly by some nut job stalker.
11) Wednesday: I have an allergy attack all day. No amounts of Sudafed, Zyrtec, Benadryl, etc. can seem to cure it. By the end of the day I'm sick from all the snot I've ingested and the constant sneezing I've had to endure.
12) Wednesday ptII: A teacher's wife tells me she thinks I'm a "prick" because I thought it was surprising she was profoundly religious. This is a girl who smokes and drinks frequently, talks openly about other teachers she finds "hot", and has admitted to several past indescretions with other men. I mean, c'mon, wouldn't you be surprised that someone like that was religious? I don't see why that makes me a prick - but I didn't need to hear it while feeling so miserable.
13) Today: Alergies are 90% gone - but I'm so very tired and dizzy all day from yesterday's hellishness.
14) Tomorrow: At this rate, God only knows....
I just want to go home.
It all started with the election. Last Tuesday was a bad day and my quality of life has been less than satisfactory ever since. To wit:
1) Tuesday: Bush wins election. Evangelical Christians everywhere rejoice by burning copies of Darwin's "Origin of the Species".
2) Wednesday: Intern who is supposed to cover my last class of the day does not. I get yelled at by the Headmaster when I return.
3) Thursday: Other intern who is supposed to cover the same class does not. I get yelled at by the headmaster.
4) Friday: Leave for Philly. Turns out third and final intern who is supposed to cover the ever-troublesome final class does not cover it.
5) Sunday: The Eagles get stomped like a narc at a biker ralley. It's EMBARRASING how awful they looked.
6) Sunday ptII: Still in Philly. Was assigned to be on duty back at school but another teacher was supposed to cover for me. Guess what happens? Yep - he forgets until the day is almost over then asks if he's needed. Which means:
7) Monday: First thing that happens at 7AM when I return to work is get CHEWED OUT by the headmaster for not having coverage on Friday and Sunday. When I explain that I was supposed to and that certain people clearly forgot to do their jobs he tells me that I obviously need to go yell at some people for dropping the ball and then ends the conversation by pointing his gnarled, wrinkly finger at me saying, "Get it together."
8) Monday PtII: Students and faculty (who are almost all Steelers fans) spend all day telling me how much the Eagles suck and how great the Steelers are and "Did you see how badly they lost?! Man, your team SUCKS!" All this AND I'm unable to tell them to go fuck themselves.
9) Monday ptIII: Student is fucking around, acting like a prick to another student so I intervene. Instead of offering apologies he tells me I'm acting "stupid", I "Don't get it" and begins to walk away. I stop him and tell him not to walk away when I'm talking to him. He then proceeds to litterally get "all up in my grill" trying to stare me down, acting as if he's going to "start something". I get nervous not because I'm scared of this kid, but because the day has been so shitty and I'm so incredibly furious at this kid that if he did start something I don't think I could control my temper and would, inevitabley, hurt this teenage punk by doing something uncalled for such as choking the shit out of him or repeatedly smashing his face into the ground. Fortunately the situation resolves without him receiving many stitches, but it's a truly crappy end to a truly crappy day.
10) Tuesday: I find out a Jefferson Med student was blugeoned to death a block and a half from my house in center city Philly by some nut job stalker.
11) Wednesday: I have an allergy attack all day. No amounts of Sudafed, Zyrtec, Benadryl, etc. can seem to cure it. By the end of the day I'm sick from all the snot I've ingested and the constant sneezing I've had to endure.
12) Wednesday ptII: A teacher's wife tells me she thinks I'm a "prick" because I thought it was surprising she was profoundly religious. This is a girl who smokes and drinks frequently, talks openly about other teachers she finds "hot", and has admitted to several past indescretions with other men. I mean, c'mon, wouldn't you be surprised that someone like that was religious? I don't see why that makes me a prick - but I didn't need to hear it while feeling so miserable.
13) Today: Alergies are 90% gone - but I'm so very tired and dizzy all day from yesterday's hellishness.
14) Tomorrow: At this rate, God only knows....
I just want to go home.
I'm listening to The Church's album "Starfish" and it just struck me that The Church would probably sound a lot like Interpol if they 1) were still making music and 2) didn't decide to suck starting in, oh, I dunno, about 1993.
So maybe instead I should say Interpol sounds a lot like a modern-day Church? Would that make me "old"? Does anybody care?
Whatever...the point is I "sort of" got my broken computer running. I found out that the interface is corrupt - it isn't a hardware or virus issue. So I was able to back up all my info (WHEW!) on to CDROM and now I'm debating about whether or not I should try to figure out which files are corrupt from XP, or just take a "We must destry this villiage to save it" mentality and wipe the fucker clean and reinstall everything.
However, because I was able to retrieve all my data from my ailing computer, I'm able to show you this image of the most badass motherfucker you'll likely see on SG for quite some time:
That's right, it's me on my way to work. I do this every damn weekday. Nope - it never gets old.
What I wouldn't give to be able to wear jeans and sandals to work just ONCE.
So maybe instead I should say Interpol sounds a lot like a modern-day Church? Would that make me "old"? Does anybody care?
Whatever...the point is I "sort of" got my broken computer running. I found out that the interface is corrupt - it isn't a hardware or virus issue. So I was able to back up all my info (WHEW!) on to CDROM and now I'm debating about whether or not I should try to figure out which files are corrupt from XP, or just take a "We must destry this villiage to save it" mentality and wipe the fucker clean and reinstall everything.
However, because I was able to retrieve all my data from my ailing computer, I'm able to show you this image of the most badass motherfucker you'll likely see on SG for quite some time:
That's right, it's me on my way to work. I do this every damn weekday. Nope - it never gets old.
What I wouldn't give to be able to wear jeans and sandals to work just ONCE.
What a weird day.
At the start of it SG was being sued by Nintendo because an SG member mentioned in his profile that he liked to play Nintendo video games. Then, all of a sudden, not only was Nintendo NOT suing SG anymore, but they made a peace-offering of a complete console and two Nintendo games for FREE to the beleagured party. You can read about it over hurr.
Also, my grandmother, who's pushing 90, made this comment to me while I was finishing up having lunch with her:
"Well, I have to get back to manning the register at the store. I swear, the only reason we have customers is because all those short, round, Jewish old-timers like to stop by and stare at my big, fat, ass."
She then slapped her posterior and left.
At the start of it SG was being sued by Nintendo because an SG member mentioned in his profile that he liked to play Nintendo video games. Then, all of a sudden, not only was Nintendo NOT suing SG anymore, but they made a peace-offering of a complete console and two Nintendo games for FREE to the beleagured party. You can read about it over hurr.
Also, my grandmother, who's pushing 90, made this comment to me while I was finishing up having lunch with her:
"Well, I have to get back to manning the register at the store. I swear, the only reason we have customers is because all those short, round, Jewish old-timers like to stop by and stare at my big, fat, ass."
She then slapped her posterior and left.
So I'm back...AGAIN....
Right after having an amazing weekend in the old 'hood playing kickball and seeing the Cramps, I return to my new home to find that my computer had committed sillicon hara-kiri and sliced an electron sword through it's tender, Intel-based underbelly while I was gone.
No Internet and no SG make Lufy go "something" "something".
I'm now using a "borrowed" computer until my busted one becomes un-busted. It's not exactly a like-for-like switch. If my prior computer was the equivalent of an average Jeopardy player, then the computer I'm now on....well, it's basically a retarted monkey.
But fuck it, it works, which is more than I can say about my laptop, right now.
So what did I miss all those weeks while my computer was down? Not much *sigh* just Gadget's debut and the SGPitt Hell-o-ween party! But it's NOT MY FAULT!
Why the hell do we keep doing this to ourselves? We continue to create a world that is increasingly dependent on technology that we swear will serve us and help us to become more productive individuals. Yet when that technology fails us we instead find that we have unwittingly become slaves to the machines and now in their absence we are unable to function. So tell me...who is the master and who is the slave?
Damn straight...
Right after having an amazing weekend in the old 'hood playing kickball and seeing the Cramps, I return to my new home to find that my computer had committed sillicon hara-kiri and sliced an electron sword through it's tender, Intel-based underbelly while I was gone.
No Internet and no SG make Lufy go "something" "something".
I'm now using a "borrowed" computer until my busted one becomes un-busted. It's not exactly a like-for-like switch. If my prior computer was the equivalent of an average Jeopardy player, then the computer I'm now on....well, it's basically a retarted monkey.
But fuck it, it works, which is more than I can say about my laptop, right now.So what did I miss all those weeks while my computer was down? Not much *sigh* just Gadget's debut and the SGPitt Hell-o-ween party!
But it's NOT MY FAULT! Why the hell do we keep doing this to ourselves? We continue to create a world that is increasingly dependent on technology that we swear will serve us and help us to become more productive individuals. Yet when that technology fails us we instead find that we have unwittingly become slaves to the machines and now in their absence we are unable to function. So tell me...who is the master and who is the slave?
Damn straight...
What's with the vibrating butt-plugs? Everyone seemed to guess them....
No, you silly gooses, it was my electric toothbrush.
Aponia was the winner with the first correct answer. Her prize is a free trip to and from kickball with Lielock and me tomorrow.
Whoo-Hoo! Kickball baby! I get to captain the Ninjas and everyone knows that NINJAS RULE!!!!
Then there's the Cramps show Sunday evening.....Gonna be a good time for all.
No, you silly gooses, it was my electric toothbrush.
Aponia was the winner with the first correct answer. Her prize is a free trip to and from kickball with Lielock and me tomorrow.
Whoo-Hoo! Kickball baby! I get to captain the Ninjas and everyone knows that NINJAS RULE!!!!
Then there's the Cramps show Sunday evening.....Gonna be a good time for all.
Fun and games time! Wheeeeee!
In my house there is an object that has the following sentence printed in its manual to describe its new operating features:
"Non slip precision grip for controlled handling"
You win if you can guess what the object is.
Hints:
1) It is smaller than a bread box
2) It is for personal use
3) It requires electricity
In my house there is an object that has the following sentence printed in its manual to describe its new operating features:
"Non slip precision grip for controlled handling"
You win if you can guess what the object is.
Hints:
1) It is smaller than a bread box
2) It is for personal use
3) It requires electricity
I've had a very bizarre day.
It all began with a phone call from my fiancee explaing to me the conversation she had with my mother yesterday.
Back up - I am currently on anti-depressants and have been for a couple months (I get mood swings. Big deal.). Apparently, they can be hell on your sex-drive. However, it doesn't seem to have affected me as sex between N and I keeps getting better and better.
Fastforward to yesterday - while talking to my mother, N mentioned in a JOKING manner the possibility of me having a diminished sex-drive due to my anti-depressants. Here's how my mother responded:
"Well if you find my son's erections aren't satisfactory, we could always take him off of them or reduce his doseage."
Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo-stick....I did not need to wake up to a story involving my mother discussing the quality of my erections with my fiancee.
N was equally taken aback - and that little bitch had me convinced for the rest of the conversation that her reply was: "Well, you don't have to worry about that because your son just fucked my brains out last weekend."
Right before I had to leave for work is when she told me she was only kidding. In a way I kinda wish she really DID say that but I'm glad she didn't.
The rest of the day was full of more weirdness. I heard a stiory about when one of my students shit in a bag at a school-sponsored camping trip....then I heard another story about girls snorting crushed percoset on dorm....then there was the kid who got expelled today for stealing $100 from another student....and then there was the conversation with one of my colleagues who's telling me all the intricate details about about how he cheats on his fiancee....
I can only take so much weirdness in one day. I'm going to curl up under a blanket with some hot coco and a good movie and not talk to anyone for the next 24 hours.
It all began with a phone call from my fiancee explaing to me the conversation she had with my mother yesterday.
Back up - I am currently on anti-depressants and have been for a couple months (I get mood swings. Big deal.). Apparently, they can be hell on your sex-drive. However, it doesn't seem to have affected me as sex between N and I keeps getting better and better.
Fastforward to yesterday - while talking to my mother, N mentioned in a JOKING manner the possibility of me having a diminished sex-drive due to my anti-depressants. Here's how my mother responded:
"Well if you find my son's erections aren't satisfactory, we could always take him off of them or reduce his doseage."
Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo-stick....I did not need to wake up to a story involving my mother discussing the quality of my erections with my fiancee.
N was equally taken aback - and that little bitch had me convinced for the rest of the conversation that her reply was: "Well, you don't have to worry about that because your son just fucked my brains out last weekend."
Right before I had to leave for work is when she told me she was only kidding. In a way I kinda wish she really DID say that but I'm glad she didn't.
The rest of the day was full of more weirdness. I heard a stiory about when one of my students shit in a bag at a school-sponsored camping trip....then I heard another story about girls snorting crushed percoset on dorm....then there was the kid who got expelled today for stealing $100 from another student....and then there was the conversation with one of my colleagues who's telling me all the intricate details about about how he cheats on his fiancee....
I can only take so much weirdness in one day. I'm going to curl up under a blanket with some hot coco and a good movie and not talk to anyone for the next 24 hours.
"Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years..."
Man, oh man, oh man-o-shevitz, what a crazy, crazy month. I've now relocated to the Ohio River Valley, unpacked about 70% of my stuff, FINALLY got phone service, FINALLY got a cable-modem hook-up.....and survived a major flood that wiped out half our campus and displaced a little less than half the faculty.
All in all, September has been one frustrating month.
But I'm back....and I'm really glad to be back online. I need this. There is no fucking CULTURE out here other than strip malls and IHOPs.
Not that I have anything against pancakes.....
I'm coming back to Philly in about a week and a half. I need to recharge my batteries and soak up some big-city grittiness. I'll be talking to you all soon on here and posting pictures of the flood, my move, and other pithy, relevant things.
Selah. It's good to be back.
Man, oh man, oh man-o-shevitz, what a crazy, crazy month. I've now relocated to the Ohio River Valley, unpacked about 70% of my stuff, FINALLY got phone service, FINALLY got a cable-modem hook-up.....and survived a major flood that wiped out half our campus and displaced a little less than half the faculty.
All in all, September has been one frustrating month.
But I'm back....and I'm really glad to be back online. I need this. There is no fucking CULTURE out here other than strip malls and IHOPs.
Not that I have anything against pancakes.....
I'm coming back to Philly in about a week and a half. I need to recharge my batteries and soak up some big-city grittiness. I'll be talking to you all soon on here and posting pictures of the flood, my move, and other pithy, relevant things.
Selah. It's good to be back.
I'm litterally in the middle of packing so there's no time for a real journal entry. This "fake" one will have to do:
1) First and foremost I had a blast at MoI Wednesday night.
2) Got a chance to hang out with Eviltwin, Grimjack, Helter, Trashy (formerly of "Troubly" fame), Jerm, Alexis, Gadget, Twotoner, Potcheen, and my brother.
3) Got a chance to meet Mpphoto, Goob, Stiles, Synflower,Blackcorvidae, Maxi, Aragorn97, and Aponia
4) Everyone listed above (as well as any I've forgotten) was so cool in their own special way - thank you all so much for a great time.
5) Gadget slimed me and branded me a pirate for life.
6) Stiles and I got to talk about cars. Always makes me
7) Synflower and I got to make fun of Grimjack
8) Accidentally cock-blocking Grimjack when he wanted to talk to Maxi's hot friend (Betty? Beatrice? Bonnie?)
9) Helter kicked the shit out me in pool
10) Goob was Goob - and that rocks so much.
11) Mpphoto is scared shitless of HillaryWallace - as am I.
12) and I could go on and on.......Good times, good times.....
Next time I write - I'll be semi-settled into my new life in my new semi-permanant home.
But I'll see you all on SG and whenever I'm back in Philly.
Catch'ya on the flip-side, Clyde.
1) First and foremost I had a blast at MoI Wednesday night.
2) Got a chance to hang out with Eviltwin, Grimjack, Helter, Trashy (formerly of "Troubly" fame), Jerm, Alexis, Gadget, Twotoner, Potcheen, and my brother.
3) Got a chance to meet Mpphoto, Goob, Stiles, Synflower,Blackcorvidae, Maxi, Aragorn97, and Aponia
4) Everyone listed above (as well as any I've forgotten) was so cool in their own special way - thank you all so much for a great time.
5) Gadget slimed me and branded me a pirate for life.
6) Stiles and I got to talk about cars. Always makes me
7) Synflower and I got to make fun of Grimjack
8) Accidentally cock-blocking Grimjack when he wanted to talk to Maxi's hot friend (Betty? Beatrice? Bonnie?)
9) Helter kicked the shit out me in pool
10) Goob was Goob - and that rocks so much.
11) Mpphoto is scared shitless of HillaryWallace - as am I.
12) and I could go on and on.......Good times, good times.....
Next time I write - I'll be semi-settled into my new life in my new semi-permanant home.
But I'll see you all on SG and whenever I'm back in Philly.
Catch'ya on the flip-side, Clyde.
Is there any better feeling in the world than waking up still drunk from the night before? 
Last night at the Tap was tons of fun with grimjack, eviltwin and my brother. Why are their french fries so damn good? What's the secret ingredient? Love? Tenderness?
This week is now going to be dominated by my impending move. As I get closer and closer, I'm getting more and more conflicted. I'm just being selfish, I realize. I want to have it all. Right now I have the great home life, great social life, great love life, but shitty job-life. Soon I'll have a great job-life, great love life, but crappy home life and social life because I'll be out in Pennsyl-tucky with the extras from the movie "Deliverance."
I'll miss Philly so much.
It's really starting to sink in how much I love it here.
The good news is that I'll be home at LEAST once a month. And I'll be home for the winter and spring and summer breaks. Plus, I'll be on SG while I'm away so I'll be "virtually" around as much as before......but I will miss the physical "being there" that can't be made up from a protracted absence - even on the internet.
No time to grumble. I've got too much packing to do and too little time. The 21st will be here, ready or not.
Last night at the Tap was tons of fun with grimjack, eviltwin and my brother. Why are their french fries so damn good? What's the secret ingredient? Love? Tenderness?
This week is now going to be dominated by my impending move. As I get closer and closer, I'm getting more and more conflicted. I'm just being selfish, I realize. I want to have it all. Right now I have the great home life, great social life, great love life, but shitty job-life. Soon I'll have a great job-life, great love life, but crappy home life and social life because I'll be out in Pennsyl-tucky with the extras from the movie "Deliverance."
I'll miss Philly so much.
It's really starting to sink in how much I love it here.
The good news is that I'll be home at LEAST once a month. And I'll be home for the winter and spring and summer breaks. Plus, I'll be on SG while I'm away so I'll be "virtually" around as much as before......but I will miss the physical "being there" that can't be made up from a protracted absence - even on the internet.
No time to grumble. I've got too much packing to do and too little time. The 21st will be here, ready or not.
