I fear I am my own worst enemy.
I've been struggling with landing a job this past year. I've been rather picky and I've narrowed the field of potential places of employment significantly, which hasn't helped much. Plus, my wife and I recently (okay a year ago) moved into this area, which doesn't have any of the jobs for which I'm qualified. The problem is, there are many people in this town with advanced degrees because there's two huge, great colleges here, but there's only 20,000 residents. The end result is pure supply-and-demand: too many highly skilled people and not enough jobs. Even the pisant jobs are snapped up by people with masters degrees. I have a masters degree, but not in pisantery - so it doesn't seem to help. Out here, I'm "off the grid" in a vocational sense, and there's no room for lateral-transferable skills. You get hired (if you're lucky) based on your background. There's no room for movement. I've found myself placed in the vocational caste of the "untouchables."
My hiring season is now over. So I'm looking at the significant possibility of being unemployed for another year. That cannot happen for two reasons - A) my mental health and, B) fiscal solvency. But I don't know what to do. I could go into business for myself - but I'm less-than-sanguine on this area (for its smug humorlessness) and this state (for its officious bureaucracy). I feel no great compulsion to invest significant time and/or energy in this town when all I want to do is get out of here and get back to Philly. But we live in a material society and my wife and I have material needs. Especially if we want to start having kids soon......
I am seeking help, though. Today I went to a mock-interview workshop and was told that, basically, I suck at interviewing: 1) talk too much. 2) too informal. 3) too vague. I'm now wondering how many of those jobs I didn't get this past year because I "don't interview well."
It's a skill. I keep telling myself that. People aren't born knowing how to walk or talk - why should anyone "know" how to interview? It's a skill and I have to develop it.
But, dammit, I'm good at what I do. Why should something as artificial as an interview be the primary determinant in whether or not I get a job? There are so many mediocre people employed in my field - clearly the interview process did not winnow them. Yet here I am, nine years of demonstrable success easily shown in my resume, references, and portfolio, and I lose out to some bumbler who knows the secret "code" words to use and puts on a good front.
I hate doing this kind of thing. I feel like I'm lying every time I shave and put on a suit for these review panels. That's not who I am and it has no bearing on the quality of work I do. These panels ask questions like, "What do you feel are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?" I can't say, "I fucking rock at what I do. I can get about 400 testimonials LIKE THAT telling you so. Aaaaand here's a portfolio of my work. You'll note the quality and thoroughness of it. As for weaknesses....well, I'm a bit pompous and arrogant and I hate being told what to do by people who use their authority to get me to conform to their fiats rather than by using rational arguments." No, instead it has to be something like, "I bring a sense of passion, intelligence, and competency to my position. My major flaws all stem from the fact that I care TOO MUCH and can sometimes get overwhelmed by my desire to do a good job."
Bullshit. No one talks like that. No one thinks like that. No one IS like that. But these are the kind of answers you have to give. It's all spin - there's no room for honesty. So I try to be honest, represent myself honestly, let my work speak for itself and I'm left holding the bag. But if I deliberately misrepresent myself, my demeanor, and my reasons for wanting to work - I can get hired by saying the right things.
I am my own worst enemy because I CARE TOO MUCH. Time to practice the art of lying.
I've been struggling with landing a job this past year. I've been rather picky and I've narrowed the field of potential places of employment significantly, which hasn't helped much. Plus, my wife and I recently (okay a year ago) moved into this area, which doesn't have any of the jobs for which I'm qualified. The problem is, there are many people in this town with advanced degrees because there's two huge, great colleges here, but there's only 20,000 residents. The end result is pure supply-and-demand: too many highly skilled people and not enough jobs. Even the pisant jobs are snapped up by people with masters degrees. I have a masters degree, but not in pisantery - so it doesn't seem to help. Out here, I'm "off the grid" in a vocational sense, and there's no room for lateral-transferable skills. You get hired (if you're lucky) based on your background. There's no room for movement. I've found myself placed in the vocational caste of the "untouchables."
My hiring season is now over. So I'm looking at the significant possibility of being unemployed for another year. That cannot happen for two reasons - A) my mental health and, B) fiscal solvency. But I don't know what to do. I could go into business for myself - but I'm less-than-sanguine on this area (for its smug humorlessness) and this state (for its officious bureaucracy). I feel no great compulsion to invest significant time and/or energy in this town when all I want to do is get out of here and get back to Philly. But we live in a material society and my wife and I have material needs. Especially if we want to start having kids soon......
I am seeking help, though. Today I went to a mock-interview workshop and was told that, basically, I suck at interviewing: 1) talk too much. 2) too informal. 3) too vague. I'm now wondering how many of those jobs I didn't get this past year because I "don't interview well."
It's a skill. I keep telling myself that. People aren't born knowing how to walk or talk - why should anyone "know" how to interview? It's a skill and I have to develop it.
But, dammit, I'm good at what I do. Why should something as artificial as an interview be the primary determinant in whether or not I get a job? There are so many mediocre people employed in my field - clearly the interview process did not winnow them. Yet here I am, nine years of demonstrable success easily shown in my resume, references, and portfolio, and I lose out to some bumbler who knows the secret "code" words to use and puts on a good front.
I hate doing this kind of thing. I feel like I'm lying every time I shave and put on a suit for these review panels. That's not who I am and it has no bearing on the quality of work I do. These panels ask questions like, "What do you feel are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?" I can't say, "I fucking rock at what I do. I can get about 400 testimonials LIKE THAT telling you so. Aaaaand here's a portfolio of my work. You'll note the quality and thoroughness of it. As for weaknesses....well, I'm a bit pompous and arrogant and I hate being told what to do by people who use their authority to get me to conform to their fiats rather than by using rational arguments." No, instead it has to be something like, "I bring a sense of passion, intelligence, and competency to my position. My major flaws all stem from the fact that I care TOO MUCH and can sometimes get overwhelmed by my desire to do a good job."
Bullshit. No one talks like that. No one thinks like that. No one IS like that. But these are the kind of answers you have to give. It's all spin - there's no room for honesty. So I try to be honest, represent myself honestly, let my work speak for itself and I'm left holding the bag. But if I deliberately misrepresent myself, my demeanor, and my reasons for wanting to work - I can get hired by saying the right things.
I am my own worst enemy because I CARE TOO MUCH. Time to practice the art of lying.
JUL 24, 2009 06:37 AM
JUL 26, 2009 01:46 PM
JUL 28, 2009 10:49 AM
quietlythere
USA
June 2004
JUL 28, 2009 04:31 PM
JUL 28, 2009 09:04 PM
JUL 31, 2009 11:55 AM
JUL 31, 2009 02:15 PM
