Well damn. Just 5 days after we decide to have a 30 day break, she texts me and says I need to call if I care about us. So I do...and suddenly I don't really care to continue my little self-imposed break. It doesn't help that I think she might self-destruct without me...but, I love her.

So instead of being sad about it all this weekend, I took her camping! How odd. I used to hate camping...but somehow it is wonderful with the right company. She is definitely my best friend, and I enjoy doing most anything with her.

I hope that I can continue to figure my shit out AND not be so distanced from her. I really want to love her the way she deserves. And I am a pretty damn persistent person, and I refuse to give up on this until I'm sure that it won't work.

I'm in a musical rut. Is there anything exciting and new anymore? I like me some original, energetic, passionate music. Anyone have any ideas for me?

I'm heartbroken. I cannot force myself to love her. She is so wonderful, but I just don't feel it. We are going to not talk for a month, and I hope I can fix whatever is wrong with me. I hurt her, and I never ever wanted that. I feel like a jerk.

The new Less Than Jake is great. They keep getting more mainstream, but somehow the music still makes sense to me. It is still LTJ, but it has deeper meaning. Maybe I'm just biased towards them (when I hate other pop-punk shit), but I don't care. It is great soul searching music.

I went to see Mike Doughty on the 28th. It was alright, but there weren't many people there. Maybe they caught wind that it would be the "Mike Doughty Duo" rather than the whole band. I love the man's voice, but as I listened to him, a guitar, and some random keyboards, I realized that the beauty of his music is in the contrast of his voice with the energy of his band. Without that backing, it really fell flat.

And I had no idea that he was so nerdy looking. $15 bucks for a nerdy guy and some keyboards.

Oh well, it was fun to hang out with my bro and watch the drunks. I guess that is a perk of a 21+ show. But, I think I smoked a whole pack, second-hand.

It's been a while. How y'all been?

So I finally caved under the pressure and signed up on myspace. I held off for so long! But over the past month, not a day has gone by that someone didn't ask me if I have a page on myspace. The final straw was when the Less Than Jake street team put a quest up to promote the new album on myspace. So I finally joined.

And now, I can't stop.

I am finding tons of people on there. And I can't seem to stop looking for the pages for my favorite bands to add as my friends. It seems so silly to want them on my friends list, but somehow it makes me feel more connected. I am a nerd.

There are about 10 concerts I want to see in the next month. Seriously. Streetlight Manifesto, Mike Doughty, Atmosphere, Horrorpops, the Business, Nekromantix. I can't miss them, because I am still bitter that I missed Tiger Army with Love Equals Death. I won't miss another.

Also, I'm changing schools. No more academics mixed with religion. I am so excited.

Gonna be a good month.

Dammit. Today my work tried to lay me off. Whatever happened to loyalty anyway? I stick with the company and do my best for them. Instead of backing out of my position for a lesser one, I dropped school for this semester so I could continue my position, which I really enjoy.

So today I get the option of being demoted, or being jobless? I know more than any of the other people in my same position. Well, I got really upset, and told them my thoughts...and it worked! They are now going to actually put some thought into who to lay off instead of choosing me by default because my team dissolved.

Ugh, I will have to write more later. I have to head into work and see what will happen to me in the meantime. Bastards.

Tyson

PS - I wish I could feel like Buck-O-Nine. "Sometimes you gotta take a look around, sometimes you gotta slow things down. Lookin out my bedroom window, you're staring at your office wall. Walking round like Marlon Brando, you're sitting down not walking at all. Don't know what you're thinking...don't work no overtime! Workin at the record store, look at me, I'm doin fine!"

Just got here. I need a while to look around before I start bearing my soul to you people!


Tyson