It is getting harder to be anything in this world. Unlike the children that spam facebook with their unhappiness I try and keep it to myself, with really doesn't matter because he is doing a good enough of a job fucking everything up. I don't know what to do about anything about anything anymore, happiness is within my bed but who knows if that will work out. fuck it.

Some days I just don't understand who I was before now. I'm always going to be unhappy I've found out, doesn't matter how much I change because I don't change. I can't stop thinking about the past and the things I wish I would have, could have, should have done. It isn't like I can go back and fix those times but I wish I could forget them. We are who we are because of our pasts, so am I happy with who I am?

Haha, funny fucking question.

Stressing out about Thanksgiving and feel like I'm used by my boyfriend's family. I just hate getting used.