Hi All! I've decided because I am paying out the ass for a service I don't use, well fuck it. If you are interested in continuing communication, please seek me out on myspace (nuclearcherrybomb) or flikr (viridianwithdesire)

Liz

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I've had a request to update. I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, and In fact someone very special said the only thing he didn't like about me is the fact that I don't do it often enough.


Good news:
New semester started, and the class that I thought I'd hate I'm finding myself having a lot of fun in.

Painful outdoor shooting on Rheinland, the WW2 movie we're working on (have I mentioned it?) is winding down. Principal photography will continue with interiors.

Taking Tim back to San Diego in June/July for his birthday. Very excited!

Am more content with my life than I have been since my only care in was discovering bad words and their result in Tobasco Sauce.

I bought a very cool new (new to me--maufactured in the decade we're living in) truck!

Bad News:
I had to change the location on my profile to throw off a crazy ex.

My job is entirely too motonous

My pictures suck! I really need to update those too.

Been awhile. Thanks to everyone that wished me a happy birthday. It was a lot of fun. I went out w/ t at midnight when I turned legal and had a couple of beers the evening before my actual birthday. The night of the 4th we had I Love Mr. Sushi and went to Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Tivloi and got into some other mischief. The next couple of nights followed suit.

This weekend was amazing as well. I bought Australian Pink Floyd Tickets for t and myself. He had a great time and it made me so happy to see him that way.
Yesterday we went down to the set of the independent film t is 2nd AD for and I'm art dept. Finished the bunker we'd started. Got lost on the way home trying to use a shortcut and ended up in Herman MO. Got a couple bottles of wine and directions to the highway. I fell asleep in t's arms on the couch. He said I snored and it mortified me.
Today I went to have a certain tattoo covered up and the result is fucking awesome.

Tomorrow it's back to the 8-5 routine. But the good news is this semester ends in a couple weeks. yippee!

I should really be asleep right now considering I have to be up for work in about five hours, but I've been hounded to get on and update my shit. So here is the long and short of it.

After going through the most fucking painful and unhealthy experience of my life, I came out on the other side happier and more content than I have ever been before.

I am so comforted by the fact I have no longer have to live in fear. Never again will I forefeit my happiness for someone else's or forget the things and people in my life that make me truly happy.

All the way through my coming-of-age-on-speed, someone in particular stood by my side. My feelings have grown so for this person I can hardly contain it sometimes. I feel as though my life and all my stupid fucking mistakes up until this point has been preparing me to be the best person I can be for him and for myself.

I really shouldn't take so long to make entries in here because I never know where to begin.

I moved out of my mom's in the beginning of September and moved back in last Saturday. Too much violence and fear in that appartment. Too many tears and not enough sleep.

It's all good, though. Life is starting to straighten itself out again. I had a lot of help to get through that hell, and for that I thank everyone that stood by me. You know who you are.

So I'm trying to be an adult. I am trying to be independent and get my shit together. And not for Jeff, but just for me.

I decided to rent my mother's basement which is set up like an apartment and I get a lot of privacy for very little cost. However if Jeff leaves his sister high and dry over the apartment the three of us were going to move into I'll live with her, because she's really cool and there is no need for her to suffer from our breakup. Plus her current roomate is a cunt.

I've been accepted to the local community college here and I know that it's no big fucking deal, but who wants to pay University prices for the first two years of classes that will transfer anyway. So I start on Aug 20. And yes I am very excited. I am going to take one fun class and one required class to start with and if I can do that and work full time I will take more next semester.

I found a good job that offers medical/dental/decent hourly wage/etc. It's entirely mindless and boring. A trained monkey could do it, but I really like almost all of the people I work with. How often does that happen? I'm going to apply for a position that has come open for verification clerk, which would be a promotion, and even if I don't get it, it will show ambition.

I saw Jeff on Friday and it was very strange. We went to see Devils Rejects (NOT AS GOOD AS THE 1ST) and had dinner, and all was well until I took him home. I asked him if he wanted to talk, which I should have said hang out because I didn't really want to talk, but I didn't think I had to specify....but anyway he stayed in the car and I tried to come up with shit to talk about. Not really getting anywhere I brought up the other girl and pissed him off. An arguement insued. Afterward he kissed me and I wanted to kiss him back and at the same time I couldn't believe he was putting me in that position. I told him I wanted to be single and if he decides he wants to be with just me we could go from there. I don't know what else to do. I love him and don't want to loose him from my life. But also he's a different person now. Sigh.

I broke up with my boyfriend. It's strange though because he still wants to date me and see this other chick and keeps saying he loves me but when we talk we argue. Fuck.

I'm in Missouri now. Living with my mom and her husband, Bob until I get on my feet. I have a decent job and semi-reliable transportation. However I feel less stable than ever. My life is like a balloon a little kid let go of and now I'm waiting to pop or float off in the horizon.

My realtionship is so screwed right now. I began this with the idea in my head that if the person I'm involved with wanted an open realtionship I'd be okay with that. But three years have gone by and now he wants to be with someone else and my feelings have changed. We were talking marriage and I want comittment but he's like "what the hell? You said that this would be okay" But it's not. Now he doesn't even want to get married. I can't handle how much pain I'm in. Everyone just keeps telling me to do whatever I think is best for myself. I don't know what that is.

I'm back, in a relative since. Back in the States and back on SG, although if I don't get a job soon, I might need to sacrifice my membership for awhile

I've decided to move back to Missouri instead of staying in North Carolina. Really, though, I just want stability in my life. I feel like I'm never going to have a place to call home. Too much is just up in the air...job, appartment, college, family...Nothing is stable.