I have to say, I'm really grateful for all the support from everyone on the site.
not only from the staff, but just all the other people that take the time out to send a message, or write a little comment...
It's really touching.
And with all the people asking, "Why aren't you a SG yet?"
I already sort-of feel like a real suicide girl...
The way the chicks I met in LA show a little support, and the way the other memebers are all so nice.
I mean, I couldn't send everyone a personal message so I thought I would just make a little blog, just for all you guys.
It makes me motivated to reach out to other hopefuls and make them feel welcome, too.
When you show the world a certain said of you (like your body) it can be a little scary...
how would they react?
I feel so confortable with my body, and I did before but, I do now, more than ever.
I think this site can be really touching, and kind when you let yourself be shown.
Anyway, I know I normally blog about dreamy or deep stuff, so this is a little different from what I normally write, in anycase, I just wanted to say
thanks.
not only from the staff, but just all the other people that take the time out to send a message, or write a little comment...
It's really touching.
And with all the people asking, "Why aren't you a SG yet?"
I already sort-of feel like a real suicide girl...
The way the chicks I met in LA show a little support, and the way the other memebers are all so nice.
I mean, I couldn't send everyone a personal message so I thought I would just make a little blog, just for all you guys.
It makes me motivated to reach out to other hopefuls and make them feel welcome, too.
When you show the world a certain said of you (like your body) it can be a little scary...
how would they react?
I feel so confortable with my body, and I did before but, I do now, more than ever.
I think this site can be really touching, and kind when you let yourself be shown.
Anyway, I know I normally blog about dreamy or deep stuff, so this is a little different from what I normally write, in anycase, I just wanted to say
thanks.
So today is my day off and I'm not sure how I would like to spend it...
I wish it wasn't so crummy outside. Playing outside is th best!
I don't think I could eve get tired of playing outside.
I think the best day would consist of waking up, having my morning coffee and cigarette outside,
doing some yoga outside,
practicing some hula hoop tricks outside,
longboarding to the convient store, grabbin a mucho-mango and smoke a joint on the way back...
Then I practice a few more hoop tricks,
have a little nap in the shade,
Then, maybe, write a bit outside, poetry, or my novel, or even blog on SG...
(keep anothe joint roastin')
Thoughout all of this, be listening to some chill records...
And if my Gods' Girl friend comes by, we might do a little photo set...
watch the sun go down while drinking some cheap wine.
When it gets dark, I could take out my fire hoop and get cracka-lackin on some of that fun stuff....
But of course...
It's about 30 degrees outside, and I can't do any of those things
:'(
so what am I suppose to do?
My brain can't hold any more readit or spiritscience articles....it's on maximum capacity...
and me and the TV are in the middle of a divorce, I don't want to make things awkward between us...
As much as I would LOVE to clean my room--wait...no..not really...
This is a little lame....
Yeah, I guess all I can really do is...
blog.
-FIN-
I wish it wasn't so crummy outside. Playing outside is th best!
I don't think I could eve get tired of playing outside.
I think the best day would consist of waking up, having my morning coffee and cigarette outside,
doing some yoga outside,
practicing some hula hoop tricks outside,
longboarding to the convient store, grabbin a mucho-mango and smoke a joint on the way back...
Then I practice a few more hoop tricks,
have a little nap in the shade,
Then, maybe, write a bit outside, poetry, or my novel, or even blog on SG...
(keep anothe joint roastin')
Thoughout all of this, be listening to some chill records...
And if my Gods' Girl friend comes by, we might do a little photo set...
watch the sun go down while drinking some cheap wine.
When it gets dark, I could take out my fire hoop and get cracka-lackin on some of that fun stuff....
But of course...
It's about 30 degrees outside, and I can't do any of those things
:'(
so what am I suppose to do?
My brain can't hold any more readit or spiritscience articles....it's on maximum capacity...
and me and the TV are in the middle of a divorce, I don't want to make things awkward between us...
As much as I would LOVE to clean my room--wait...no..not really...
This is a little lame....
Yeah, I guess all I can really do is...
blog.
-FIN-
So, I don't wanna be a downer here, but I'm starting to enjoy reading the New York Times...
(no, that's not the downer-part of it; The Times is great)
But I've been reading about the refugee camps in Syria; and how there's 20,000 people who use 50 bathrooms.
Can you imagine?
Don't say "no" right off the bat, seriously...try to imagine that...
Meanwhile, America is trying to send weapons to the Syrian rebels.
I don't care who's side America is on...we should be helping these people, not making their fatality rate higher.
For the refugees, the government and rebels are the same. If the military isn't bombing their homes, then the rebels are storming in and looting their villages and raping the women.
It hurts me inside
to imagine people are forced to live like this.
50 bathrooms for 20,000 people?
At the music festival I went to there were way more than 50 bathrooms, and maybe, 10,000 people and those bathrooms were DISGUSTING.
You know what they are in "growing need of"?
baby clothes.
Can you take a minute to think about that?
That's insane.
I took the article and pinned it on the wall...
one reason was to remind me that I should be grateful for all the things that I have....
In a past post I wrote, I was upset that I felt I had a lack of family and people who were there for me...
I feel so wrong.
I have so much; My family is alive, I have a home and a bed, and so many clothes I don't even need.
I open my fridge and bitch about how there isn't anything to eat, when I'm just too lazy to make something.
I really take a lot for granted.
I get upset I have to go to work, but I should be happy that I have the means to get to work, and I have a job that pays good enough for me to manage most of the things need, and isn't life-threatening work.
CHILDREN younger than 13 work in the coal mines of India, wearing only rags...they die every day.
Another reason the article is on my wall is because I really want to help these people.
I just want them to know that there are people who know they are there and CARE!
I CARE! I just want them to know!
No one will help them because they are on the border of Turkey and Syria; it'a a warzone.
I don't really care about the warzone. I just want these people to know that the kindness of others has not abandoned them.
I'm not a religious person, but I think that's what God is.
God is the love and goodness inside every living thing,
I want them to know God has not abandoned them.
(no, that's not the downer-part of it; The Times is great)
But I've been reading about the refugee camps in Syria; and how there's 20,000 people who use 50 bathrooms.
Can you imagine?
Don't say "no" right off the bat, seriously...try to imagine that...
Meanwhile, America is trying to send weapons to the Syrian rebels.
I don't care who's side America is on...we should be helping these people, not making their fatality rate higher.
For the refugees, the government and rebels are the same. If the military isn't bombing their homes, then the rebels are storming in and looting their villages and raping the women.
It hurts me inside
to imagine people are forced to live like this.
50 bathrooms for 20,000 people?
At the music festival I went to there were way more than 50 bathrooms, and maybe, 10,000 people and those bathrooms were DISGUSTING.
You know what they are in "growing need of"?
baby clothes.
Can you take a minute to think about that?
That's insane.
I took the article and pinned it on the wall...
one reason was to remind me that I should be grateful for all the things that I have....
In a past post I wrote, I was upset that I felt I had a lack of family and people who were there for me...
I feel so wrong.
I have so much; My family is alive, I have a home and a bed, and so many clothes I don't even need.
I open my fridge and bitch about how there isn't anything to eat, when I'm just too lazy to make something.
I really take a lot for granted.
I get upset I have to go to work, but I should be happy that I have the means to get to work, and I have a job that pays good enough for me to manage most of the things need, and isn't life-threatening work.
CHILDREN younger than 13 work in the coal mines of India, wearing only rags...they die every day.
Another reason the article is on my wall is because I really want to help these people.
I just want them to know that there are people who know they are there and CARE!
I CARE! I just want them to know!
No one will help them because they are on the border of Turkey and Syria; it'a a warzone.
I don't really care about the warzone. I just want these people to know that the kindness of others has not abandoned them.
I'm not a religious person, but I think that's what God is.
God is the love and goodness inside every living thing,
I want them to know God has not abandoned them.
So, to all the LADIES that saw set number TWO of mine, I just have to say...
I'm wearing hair extensions...
You might think, "oh, that's cool." But I've actually been making them for a few years now, and I'm selling custom-made ones on Etsy. You can pick your colors, and I'll hand make them.
The ones I'm wearing in my set about three years old...
(LOL, I could see some dude reading and thinking "this girl is wearing three-year old hair!?")
...But obviously, the ones I make are much nicer...on my Etsy site, I'm wearing extensions that are about a year old.
If you guys would be interested in checking it out, you can fallowthe link on here:
http://www.etsy.com/people/FayStitches?ref=si_pr
I thought I might try to network a bit, it's more to get my name out there than to make a bunch of cash, to be honest, selling these wouldn't make too much profit, but it's pretty fun, and it would be cool if someone was interested.
Anyway, that is all! I'm going to bed now!
Good night!
<3
I'm wearing hair extensions...
You might think, "oh, that's cool." But I've actually been making them for a few years now, and I'm selling custom-made ones on Etsy. You can pick your colors, and I'll hand make them.
The ones I'm wearing in my set about three years old...
(LOL, I could see some dude reading and thinking "this girl is wearing three-year old hair!?")
...But obviously, the ones I make are much nicer...on my Etsy site, I'm wearing extensions that are about a year old.
If you guys would be interested in checking it out, you can fallowthe link on here:
http://www.etsy.com/people/FayStitches?ref=si_pr
I thought I might try to network a bit, it's more to get my name out there than to make a bunch of cash, to be honest, selling these wouldn't make too much profit, but it's pretty fun, and it would be cool if someone was interested.
Anyway, that is all! I'm going to bed now!
Good night!
<3
So someone commented my page once, asking why I do all these stream-of-contentiousness blogs...and why don't I go out and "live"?
Well, I mean, I guess from a normal person's perspective, I'm a bit of a shut-in...but to me, I find solace in my imagination...which comes from writing...
I'm in the middle of writing two books right now, even though both of them can be a little neglected due to Skyrim...
I guess I once was a person who would go out and "live" but writing IS me living.
Whether it's venting in my dairy, blogging on SG, or working on my novels.
I think there is something that will never compare to the beauty of words, and how we use them...
I mean think about it, the way in which we communicate, the way we document things that are important to us; our feelings, our goals, or tangible things like some flame food, or a really cute puppy...
none of those things would ever reach someone else without words...
If you're down with the whole, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one can hear it, does it make a sound?"
My answer...
No, it does not.
Just as if someone blind were to sit on their porch, and a beautiful sunset was before them, would it still be there?
Maybe in the technological, time-and-space aspect it would. But for the blind man? No. It's not there.
But with the power of words, I could sit beside him, and describe each aspect; the way the eastern dark blue sky meshes with the purple clouds. How those purple clouds drip down into the horizon. If the sunset had a taste, I think it would be the sweet part of a grapefruit (excluding that bitter after taste) just pure citrus sweetness, with maybe a touch of mango. I could say how the light from the sun amplifies all the perfections in the earth and how the shadows are long and thin.
If one could really use words properly, the could make that sunset real for the blind man, maybe make it look even more beautiful than how it really is.
In "The Hours," one of the writers talks about that, in order to be a true writer, you need to passionately write it all. the way the threads feel in a blanket, the way your loved one carries in the groceries, the way a cigarette flows out smoke from the cherry like ribbon.
there's so much in the world...so many little moments, which thousands and thousands of beautiful, delectable words are just waiting, longing, to be used in just one sentence.
Think about the power words have, how they can inflict so much feeling inside you. They're so powerful.
To use that, to learn and practice how to use words, so that, maybe, one person out there can see from my eyes, and feel with my heart, and understand...and feel it, too.
I mean....
That's living.
...for me, at least.
Well, I mean, I guess from a normal person's perspective, I'm a bit of a shut-in...but to me, I find solace in my imagination...which comes from writing...
I'm in the middle of writing two books right now, even though both of them can be a little neglected due to Skyrim...
I guess I once was a person who would go out and "live" but writing IS me living.
Whether it's venting in my dairy, blogging on SG, or working on my novels.
I think there is something that will never compare to the beauty of words, and how we use them...
I mean think about it, the way in which we communicate, the way we document things that are important to us; our feelings, our goals, or tangible things like some flame food, or a really cute puppy...
none of those things would ever reach someone else without words...
If you're down with the whole, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one can hear it, does it make a sound?"
My answer...
No, it does not.
Just as if someone blind were to sit on their porch, and a beautiful sunset was before them, would it still be there?
Maybe in the technological, time-and-space aspect it would. But for the blind man? No. It's not there.
But with the power of words, I could sit beside him, and describe each aspect; the way the eastern dark blue sky meshes with the purple clouds. How those purple clouds drip down into the horizon. If the sunset had a taste, I think it would be the sweet part of a grapefruit (excluding that bitter after taste) just pure citrus sweetness, with maybe a touch of mango. I could say how the light from the sun amplifies all the perfections in the earth and how the shadows are long and thin.
If one could really use words properly, the could make that sunset real for the blind man, maybe make it look even more beautiful than how it really is.
In "The Hours," one of the writers talks about that, in order to be a true writer, you need to passionately write it all. the way the threads feel in a blanket, the way your loved one carries in the groceries, the way a cigarette flows out smoke from the cherry like ribbon.
there's so much in the world...so many little moments, which thousands and thousands of beautiful, delectable words are just waiting, longing, to be used in just one sentence.
Think about the power words have, how they can inflict so much feeling inside you. They're so powerful.
To use that, to learn and practice how to use words, so that, maybe, one person out there can see from my eyes, and feel with my heart, and understand...and feel it, too.
I mean....
That's living.
...for me, at least.
I wish I could understand why life is so....
I don't know...
stupid...
i guess.
My brother is 3 years older than me, when he was out of high school, my family paid for his college tuition, for a private school dorm and everything...out of state, too.
My little sister, although I love her, is spoiled rotten, anything she wants, she gets...Victoria Secret this, or Vera Bradly that....I never got anything new unless it was from Goodwill, and that's thanks to my step dad who hated me.
No joke, man, this guy hated me.
When I was thirteen, I had been grounded for at LEAST 3+ years...my sister has never had anything taken away.
And when I say "grounded" I don't mean I wasn't allowed to chill with my friends...
I mean,
no friends
no internet
no tv
no phone
no door attached to my room
no music
no computer in general
I wasn't even allowed to have a diary.
So yeah, you want to talk about the short end of the stick, anything I wanted, I had to get.
I had to pay for my car, and insurance, and a phone, and everything I want...who buys it?
me.
no one else.
Why?
because no one gives a shit except my mother.
and my mother is just a broke as me.
why am I suddenly so hung up on this bullshit?
because there's a good chance I'm going to quit ANOTHER job, I would have been happy with.
But I can't get there because, frankly, I need help.
who can help me?
No one.
And this is why life is fucking stupid.
equality is nonexistent.
If my siblings wanted anything, they would have it handed to them.
Why do I work my ass off for nothing?
You tell me, because I'm fucking sick of wondering about this shit.
I don't know...
stupid...
i guess.
My brother is 3 years older than me, when he was out of high school, my family paid for his college tuition, for a private school dorm and everything...out of state, too.
My little sister, although I love her, is spoiled rotten, anything she wants, she gets...Victoria Secret this, or Vera Bradly that....I never got anything new unless it was from Goodwill, and that's thanks to my step dad who hated me.
No joke, man, this guy hated me.
When I was thirteen, I had been grounded for at LEAST 3+ years...my sister has never had anything taken away.
And when I say "grounded" I don't mean I wasn't allowed to chill with my friends...
I mean,
no friends
no internet
no tv
no phone
no door attached to my room
no music
no computer in general
I wasn't even allowed to have a diary.
So yeah, you want to talk about the short end of the stick, anything I wanted, I had to get.
I had to pay for my car, and insurance, and a phone, and everything I want...who buys it?
me.
no one else.
Why?
because no one gives a shit except my mother.
and my mother is just a broke as me.
why am I suddenly so hung up on this bullshit?
because there's a good chance I'm going to quit ANOTHER job, I would have been happy with.
But I can't get there because, frankly, I need help.
who can help me?
No one.
And this is why life is fucking stupid.
equality is nonexistent.
If my siblings wanted anything, they would have it handed to them.
Why do I work my ass off for nothing?
You tell me, because I'm fucking sick of wondering about this shit.
Dear Zelda~
Today my first set is going to air, and I'm nervited...
Nervited (ajv.) Being emotionally excited and nervous simultaneously.
I wonder how it will do...it was really cold that day, haha.
I must say, my sets seem to have gotten better and better, so this first one is...i guess you could say...
it's the, um, crappiest...?
I don't know how to put it so I'm not dissing myself
Anyway, it's a shame I cant be here to sit in front of the screen and see what everyone thinks. I've been waiting for these sets to finish pending for a while now. When I first submitted the set, I never wold have thought I'd be where I am now...
But getting back to the set...
Yes, well...I hope people like it, but realistically, I know it's not the best. But I was having a conversation with a friend the other night about beauty, and what it really means...
I think all women are beautiful, and I think each and every one deserves to be told so on a regular basis.
I think it's disgusting how society depicts a "beautiful woman," frankly, it's inhumane.
Women are born with a body to nestle life inside; and that is why people find the female body so beautiful. I mean think about it; her breasts, her curves, the condition of her skin...all these things play into the health and well-being of a child.
As a giver of life, all the natural parts that contribute to that life are beautiful. I think every woman; big, small, fat, skinny, dark, light, anything...they all have at least one thing in common; their bodies are made to hold life.
I think there is something very spiritually beautiful and sacred about that.
And we can't forget inner beauty; which i guess is a cliche phrase, bit it's more important if you asked me.
I know a girl who is drop-dead-gorgeous, awesome taste in music, and has artistic abilities very few could ever compare with....but she's mean. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but she's a down-right meanie. And all the envy I have for her beauty and talent means nothing because she is mean.
I know another girl, who is what you would call an "unconventional beauty," She's a heavier-set girl; the type many people would pass instantly and never do a double-take. But I find her to be one of the most breath-taking women I've ever met. She has come out of struggles that should morph someone into a spiteful person; but her goodness is so strong. I'm getting goosebumps just writing about her.
So what i'm trying to get at, is that all women are equally beautiful the day they are born. But to me, it doesn't matter what they do with that beauty on the outside, because it only lasts a few seconds until someone sees your nature. Audrey Hepburn said something like, "It you wish for beautiful eyes, find beauty in others. If you wish for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."
Today my first set is going to air, and I'm nervited...
Nervited (ajv.) Being emotionally excited and nervous simultaneously.
I wonder how it will do...it was really cold that day, haha.
I must say, my sets seem to have gotten better and better, so this first one is...i guess you could say...
it's the, um, crappiest...?
I don't know how to put it so I'm not dissing myself
Anyway, it's a shame I cant be here to sit in front of the screen and see what everyone thinks. I've been waiting for these sets to finish pending for a while now. When I first submitted the set, I never wold have thought I'd be where I am now...
But getting back to the set...
Yes, well...I hope people like it, but realistically, I know it's not the best. But I was having a conversation with a friend the other night about beauty, and what it really means...
I think all women are beautiful, and I think each and every one deserves to be told so on a regular basis.
I think it's disgusting how society depicts a "beautiful woman," frankly, it's inhumane.
Women are born with a body to nestle life inside; and that is why people find the female body so beautiful. I mean think about it; her breasts, her curves, the condition of her skin...all these things play into the health and well-being of a child.
As a giver of life, all the natural parts that contribute to that life are beautiful. I think every woman; big, small, fat, skinny, dark, light, anything...they all have at least one thing in common; their bodies are made to hold life.
I think there is something very spiritually beautiful and sacred about that.
And we can't forget inner beauty; which i guess is a cliche phrase, bit it's more important if you asked me.
I know a girl who is drop-dead-gorgeous, awesome taste in music, and has artistic abilities very few could ever compare with....but she's mean. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but she's a down-right meanie. And all the envy I have for her beauty and talent means nothing because she is mean.
I know another girl, who is what you would call an "unconventional beauty," She's a heavier-set girl; the type many people would pass instantly and never do a double-take. But I find her to be one of the most breath-taking women I've ever met. She has come out of struggles that should morph someone into a spiteful person; but her goodness is so strong. I'm getting goosebumps just writing about her.
So what i'm trying to get at, is that all women are equally beautiful the day they are born. But to me, it doesn't matter what they do with that beauty on the outside, because it only lasts a few seconds until someone sees your nature. Audrey Hepburn said something like, "It you wish for beautiful eyes, find beauty in others. If you wish for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."
Dear Zelda~
I'm so happy to move out of my mom's house! GAHHH I can't wait, sometime I feel like I'm living in the loony-bin.
Yesh...that's right!
I'm moving out...flying the coupe...
Ca-caw!
Jebus, I wish it was sooner. As soon as my loan and financial aid got through it's gunna be
"seeya!"
I love my family...but they drive me crazy.
It's nothing personal, I just want to hit a bong when I want,
play Skyrim when I want,
AND RECYCLE FOR GODSAKE.
Walk around naked...
play "games" with my boyfriend...
make brownies without my mom eating them all...
I'm so excited, I don't know how else to out it.
I'm so happy to move out of my mom's house! GAHHH I can't wait, sometime I feel like I'm living in the loony-bin.
Yesh...that's right!
I'm moving out...flying the coupe...
Ca-caw!
Jebus, I wish it was sooner. As soon as my loan and financial aid got through it's gunna be
"seeya!"
I love my family...but they drive me crazy.
It's nothing personal, I just want to hit a bong when I want,
play Skyrim when I want,
AND RECYCLE FOR GODSAKE.
Walk around naked...
play "games" with my boyfriend...
make brownies without my mom eating them all...
I'm so excited, I don't know how else to out it.
Dear Zelda,
It's so nice to be home!
<3
You know, after going to LA, I found my town ain't so bad
I mean, I don't know if I wanna live here all my life, but I'm not cut out for the city.
It's just...I'd rather live in a place where people are more concerned with other things. LA is the place where you pursue dreams that have to do with self-gratification.
I want to be a holistic doctor.
I don't want to REALLY be a model.
I mean, I love SG, and I'll stay with them as long as they'll have me.
But...
I think I have other goals to work towards, that don't involve me being on the cover a magazine. Don't get me wrong...it's cool and it would be awesome if it happened.
But that wouldn't make me proud of myself.
I--honestly....
I don't see the big deal.
Everyone in LA was so welcoming and soooo nice...
but at the same time, it just seemed like I didn't quite fit in.
I mean I was only there for three days,,,but I don't know...
It felt like I was this flounder....swimming with dolphins.
okay...bad metaphor, but do you get what I mean?
I mean....again
like...
what the big deal?
It seems like a lot if a big deal...
aaand I mean, I don't really care...
so I don't really get it.
I'm not trying to rip on anyone in particular, like I said, everyone was supra nice....
But there's still this air of this knowledgeable-elitist mentality, and I mean, everyone in LA gives me that vibe.
My uncle especially...
But it's not bad...but like I said, I don't care about stuff like that.
So I don't think I'll be making LA my home in this life.
But I still want to visit Portland.....
It's so nice to be home!
<3
You know, after going to LA, I found my town ain't so bad
I mean, I don't know if I wanna live here all my life, but I'm not cut out for the city.
It's just...I'd rather live in a place where people are more concerned with other things. LA is the place where you pursue dreams that have to do with self-gratification.
I want to be a holistic doctor.
I don't want to REALLY be a model.
I mean, I love SG, and I'll stay with them as long as they'll have me.
But...
I think I have other goals to work towards, that don't involve me being on the cover a magazine. Don't get me wrong...it's cool and it would be awesome if it happened.
But that wouldn't make me proud of myself.
I--honestly....
I don't see the big deal.
Everyone in LA was so welcoming and soooo nice...
but at the same time, it just seemed like I didn't quite fit in.
I mean I was only there for three days,,,but I don't know...
It felt like I was this flounder....swimming with dolphins.
okay...bad metaphor, but do you get what I mean?
I mean....again
like...
what the big deal?
It seems like a lot if a big deal...
aaand I mean, I don't really care...
so I don't really get it.
I'm not trying to rip on anyone in particular, like I said, everyone was supra nice....
But there's still this air of this knowledgeable-elitist mentality, and I mean, everyone in LA gives me that vibe.
My uncle especially...
But it's not bad...but like I said, I don't care about stuff like that.
So I don't think I'll be making LA my home in this life.
But I still want to visit Portland.....
UUHHHH
Dear Zelda~
Money problems suck.
I'm trying to keep up with this law of attraction thing...
like...
"I HAVE SOOO MUCH MONEY! I HAVE $500 IN MY BANK ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW! I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO SPEND IT FIRST! I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED FOR MY CAR! MY STOMACH IS FULL AND SATISFIED! I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DRIVE OUT-OF-COUNTY FOR CIGS BECAUSE I HAVE A CARTON RIGHT UNDER MY BED!"
Yeah, I guess the key to the law of attraction is to just be as sarcastic as possible.
It's just hard, you know?
It's so hard to believe I have all these things, when the truth is...
I mean, shit dude.
I got into modeling so I could pay my tuition fees, and while I am so grateful it got me a free vacation, it hasn't gotten me a dime.
I mean...
"I AM THE MOST SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE GIRL THERE IS! SUICIDE GIRLS HAS MADE ME SOOOOO RICH! RICH RICH RICH! ....AND FAMOUS! SUICIDE GIRLS HAS KEPT ME SO BUSY WITH HOW
RICH
AND
FAMOUS
I AM...THAT I'VE HARDLY HAD ANY TIME TO DRIVE MY BRAND NEW BRIGHT GREEN VW BUG CONVERTIBLE!"
On the other hand, I'm driving a 96 honda accord, and while I love this car to death, I'm always worried it's just gunna break down on me.
I applied for a grant for school, and even though I qualify, I still need to pay the school $700 for what I owe them now...so I can't even register.
No registration
No grant.
What a fucked up cycle.
All the while, I'm suppose to be pretending and believing that I have all the riches the world can offer me.
That is one of the most difficult things to do.
You might as well bring me to a Justin Bieber concert and expect me to dance around.
Keeping a positive attitude is probably the most constructive thing you can possibly do.
I really believe in the law of attraction, and I believe things
WILL
get better as long as I can keep believing it will.
I'm just saying...
it's so hard to sometimes....
I mean, everyone has a sob story. Plenty of people go to bed hungry, and weight their pennies between getting gas in their car, or getting that pack of cigarettes.
And most of us don't even want sympathy unless it comes in a card with a nice little check.
I'm just venting.
I know I'm getting down and having a shitty attitude, and it doesn't make things much better.
I guess I just get off on this romantic idea of this little lost girl without anything in her wallet, just trying her best to survive in the crazy, fucked up, materialistic world.
Like my girl, Audrey, from Breakfast at Tiffany's.
I know how she feels.
I'm not Lixir, I'm not Audrey, either. I don't know who I am. I'm just like my cat. We're just a couple of no-name-slobs, we belong to nobody and nobody belongs to us...we don't even belong to each other.
Dear Zelda~
Money problems suck.
I'm trying to keep up with this law of attraction thing...
like...
"I HAVE SOOO MUCH MONEY! I HAVE $500 IN MY BANK ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW! I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO SPEND IT FIRST! I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED FOR MY CAR! MY STOMACH IS FULL AND SATISFIED! I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DRIVE OUT-OF-COUNTY FOR CIGS BECAUSE I HAVE A CARTON RIGHT UNDER MY BED!"
Yeah, I guess the key to the law of attraction is to just be as sarcastic as possible.
It's just hard, you know?
It's so hard to believe I have all these things, when the truth is...
I mean, shit dude.
I got into modeling so I could pay my tuition fees, and while I am so grateful it got me a free vacation, it hasn't gotten me a dime.
I mean...
"I AM THE MOST SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE GIRL THERE IS! SUICIDE GIRLS HAS MADE ME SOOOOO RICH! RICH RICH RICH! ....AND FAMOUS! SUICIDE GIRLS HAS KEPT ME SO BUSY WITH HOW
RICH
AND
FAMOUS
I AM...THAT I'VE HARDLY HAD ANY TIME TO DRIVE MY BRAND NEW BRIGHT GREEN VW BUG CONVERTIBLE!"
On the other hand, I'm driving a 96 honda accord, and while I love this car to death, I'm always worried it's just gunna break down on me.
I applied for a grant for school, and even though I qualify, I still need to pay the school $700 for what I owe them now...so I can't even register.
No registration
No grant.
What a fucked up cycle.
All the while, I'm suppose to be pretending and believing that I have all the riches the world can offer me.
That is one of the most difficult things to do.
You might as well bring me to a Justin Bieber concert and expect me to dance around.
Keeping a positive attitude is probably the most constructive thing you can possibly do.
I really believe in the law of attraction, and I believe things
WILL
get better as long as I can keep believing it will.
I'm just saying...
it's so hard to sometimes....
I mean, everyone has a sob story. Plenty of people go to bed hungry, and weight their pennies between getting gas in their car, or getting that pack of cigarettes.
And most of us don't even want sympathy unless it comes in a card with a nice little check.
I'm just venting.
I know I'm getting down and having a shitty attitude, and it doesn't make things much better.
I guess I just get off on this romantic idea of this little lost girl without anything in her wallet, just trying her best to survive in the crazy, fucked up, materialistic world.
Like my girl, Audrey, from Breakfast at Tiffany's.
I know how she feels.
I'm not Lixir, I'm not Audrey, either. I don't know who I am. I'm just like my cat. We're just a couple of no-name-slobs, we belong to nobody and nobody belongs to us...we don't even belong to each other.
