One of my dogs had to be put down tonight. My father took her to the vet while I was still at work. I tried to get there in time to say goodbye, but I didn't make it.
What really pisses me off is that staying until she died would have been too much for him, so he dropped her off, told her he loved her and left. So she had nobody there that loved her while she died. As much as it would have killed me, I would have stayed with her to hold her and pet her and let her know someone was there that loved her.
Now she's gone, and I never got to say goodbye.

Goddamnit, I need a few drinks and some hugs now.

So, since it's been a while since I posted last, I figured I'd give a small update.
I'm no longer a resident of depression-land. This is all thanks to my friend Jenna Haze (yes, the pornstar). She recommended a book to me that really helped me. The book is titled "The Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle. I honestly never thought a book would help me at all, mainly because I've read so many that did nothing to help me feel better. I can't say that I'll never be depressed again, because who knows what may happen, but for the time being, I am depression-free (it's been over 2 months since I've felt better).

Very little else has changed. I'm still too lazy (and kinda scared) to make a doctor appointment to get some much needed bloodwork done. I need to get checked got diabetes, thyroid problems, and lupus (or whatever other auto-immune disease I have), and I should also get back to planned parenthood to get another STD test. Other than than stuff, I've got nothing new to add.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season, and that you are all safe, happy and healthy.