Well, I'm a vegitarian agian. And I'm considering going vegan. Up until now I saw no problem with eating eggs if they said free range or cage free on the box, but I reaserched those claims today and it turns out that they don't really mean shit. they are unregulated claims and a lot of those hens are just as confined and mistreated as the ones lined up in the battery cages. They are allowed to debeak them still, they can starve them to shock there bodies into forced moltation for egg production, they can just increase the size of the cage a few inches and call it free range, they can pack them into warehouses with no outside access and call it cage free.... it's just frustrating. Is there a guilt free sorce of eggs, milk and yogurt? Is the stuff they sell at the farmers market humane?? Is honey something to worry about too? How does that process affect the coloney? What are some good sorces of complete protein (and don't say soy, I've read some not good things about soy and I try not to eat much of it.)? I'm on a muscle building mission to get fit right now and going through an intensive 90 day bootcamp type fitness routine called P90X. Can I still get great results and build muscle mass if I change my diet to vegan?
I watched this video yesterday and it made me cry several times, it's really gut wrenching. http://veg-tv.info/Earthlings

Well, I think I've figured out what my weight goal is. I'm 5' 1" so I've decided to stay in the 102-110 range, that's my goal. And I reached it! I weigh 106 today. I need to get new pictures up.

I'm such a goofball, check out my new pics in the skating album.
I went to visit my sister for the weekend. We went to a homeschool convention in Arlington. I got lots of cool curriculum for my kids. Then we went skating, and her husband came too. She has a really nice camera and she took a ton of pictures. We all had a lot of fun

116 is HOT!


I know that sounds conceeded... but damnit, it took some hard work to get there, so who cares how it sounds, right? lol

Well, my mom is going through her 9th divorce. Yes, she has been married 9 times! I don't know if the situation is funny, sad, or just embarrasing. I just thought it was such a ridiculous situation that I would share.
Also, I got a new cat! she is a persian named Sophie. I'll get a pic when I get my carmera fixed. She is an older cat that was not very well taken care of. She has some matts on her and an appointment with the groomer on thursday. I'm thinking of shaving her down to a lion cut. Maybe just once, then growing out a new coat and keeping it brushed.
I'm 118! That's a total of 47 lbs gone Almost to my goal!

I bought a size 6 dress today... I've never done that before I've lost 35 lbs.
Here are some pics!!

Another person dissapointed me this week. I am truely loosing all hope that the majority of human beings can be good at heart. Maintaining friendships is not as easy as it sounds. Do you know why? Because people suck! A close friend that I've known for about 10yrs just told me he never wants to speak to me agian. He fucked up and he's blaming me when I did nothing wrong. And you know, I kind of expected more out of him. But really, I'm not all that hurt, I just feel dissapointed. There is another person who will never understand me, or even give a shit. Another person with disgustingly low charactor. And this is not the first time that someone has stoped talking to me, I'm beginning to feel pretty jaded. On two seperate occasions two women that I had become close to bailed on me right after I told them my dirty little secret. (which is really just more weird and sad than dirty) My daughter's biological father is my father. My dad got me pregnant at 15yrs old. Why am i telling everyone this? Because I just don't give a shit anymore. But the question that i pose to you is this... Why would both of them shortly after hearing this completly stop talking to me, not return my phone calls? When we had become close friends and i was just trying to be open with them. My current best friend whom I've known for a long time, does not know. I just know that he wouldn't understand and I don't want that weirdness in our relationship. But I find that all relationships are like this. Holding back part of myself because they wouldn't understand. My family for example. Well, actualy just my sister amber, because the rest of my family I don't really get along with, nor respect. Ok so, Amber, I have known her all my life and i still haven't told her that i'm bi or that I'm an athiest. She wouldn't understand, she is a strong christian and i pretend to be a christian when I'm around her... how degrading is that??! Not being honest with people about who I am makes me feel disgusted and incredibly upset. I feel like no one thinks the way i think, like there is no true friend material out there. i don't know, today is a weird day, i'll talk more on this subject a little later.

I have an on/off relationship with alcohol. We broke up Monday and I think it's permanent this time. I've taken a two and a half year break before, so I'm sure I can live without it agian. It's an evil, tempting substance that changes people and I know it's not for me, I've had my fill.

Well, I weighed 140 this morning, that's 25 lbs in about 3 months. I feel better about myself. I went from a 16 down to a size 10, which is cool. My wedding dress was a size 8 and it was tight on me, So that means that I'm almost back to the size i was when I got married at 18. It feels nice, I'm happy with my progress so far.

I just cut my hair... And now my pussy hair is actualy longer than the majority of the hair on my head lol.