I have not said much lately so i figured i'd just update. Well first things first. The most exciting thing!!!! I'm gettin married on Monday!!! Let;s see Daniel's parents didn't take it too well haha but they accept it. I haven't told my mom yet becuz i already know how thats gonna go. hehe i know i should but i can't bring myself to have that kind of drama right now. I'm 18 and gettin married. Scary but exciting. Everyone says you guys are crazy the chance of you lasting is slim. But it feels so right. ya know? You only have one life so why not. haha i'm so pumped hurry up and get here already monday. Its nothing spectacular. We';re gettin married at the courthouse. But i dont care how grand it is. I'm marrying the man that i love. aaaaaaaaaaaaah yeah i wanna scream everytime i think about it. hehe. so on to the next subject
I'm back in school this semester. It's so hard getting back in the groove and makin myself go to class. But i'm determined to do it.
We moved into a new apartment last month. So far so good. I'm havin a blast. Money is a little tight. But hey its college we're young, thats life right?
Military school friendships are fading away. i have my two best friends but they're far away in colorado..haha i know its only like 7 hours but its too far for me. Hopefully they'll be here for the wedding. But everyone that ended up here in town with me those friendships are almost gone. People change what else can i say. Atleast i have my honey and the boys. They've always been here for me and well haha now i'm family so ha they're stuck with me. Life is good.
I can't get in to see an endocrynologist to get more blood work done until march so figuring out this whole complicated crap with my body will take a little longer. Long story. But i'm sure everything will work out fine. I think we have it narrowed down to Polycystic ovary disease but we still wont know until the damn appointment. March is so far away. But i'm feelin ok. Still some nausea here and there and tired alot but it comes and goes. I enjoy the healthy days and even the not so fun days.
Hope everyone is awesome and happy. and hope 2007 is treating everyone well so far! Much love...
oh yea...check out the helllogoodbye cd it ROCKS i know i'm a dork but its awsome to me. MAkes me all happy.

Nothing feels right today. i just wish tomorrow would come and i could get this stupid doctors appointment over with. i hate feeling this way. i can't even go anywhere without getting upset and crying. I keep trying to look like i'm ok for daniel becuz i don't know how he feels. he keeps tellin me everythings gonna be ok and i wanna think that but in the back of my head i keep thinkin what if....I love him so much and i love him for bein there for me he's amazing. But he knows i'm not ok. I wanna just lay on his chest and cry but for some reason i just can't. I dont wanna be around anyone. i even turned down goin to the basement to smoke with tha boys. how sad somethin i never turn down. i guess i want a clear head. i dunno. i need help grrr. my mind is racing i feel so many different things but i definitely dont feel like i have anywhere to go.

Last night we went to Daniel\'s (my fiancee) sisters house and when we were leaving we got a phone call that a guy Daniel works with was killed on his motorcycle. He was weaving in and out of traffic and ran into a slow moving dump truck or somethin like that. I\'ve never been in a situation like that so all i could say was i\'m sorry baby i love you.
Today at lunch Daniel\'s dad took us to eat lunch at a really good chinese restaurant ,Jade YUMMY. then he asked no class today or what? andit was like this sinking feeling in my stomache. How do i tell him i decided to take the rest of the semester off because i was unhappy. I didn\'t want that look of dissapointment ya know. So daniel told him and he still gave me that look. and i just felt like shit and i wanted to cry. Did i make the right decision? It was something i felt i had to do so i did. I finally did something for myself but then why do i feel so bad?
So this will be my first Thanksgiving away from my family. I\'m acctually um i guess happy. its weird but its also like i finally have my own life. yaya! i guess thats it haha my mind is racing but i don\'t think i could type it all