I've needed to update. Well things are still pretty bad. I'm late on my period by like 3 months. I'm def not preggzors, so I no idea what's going on. Right now..seeing a doctor is out of the question, due to lack of money. In addition to that, I've been literally EXHAUSTED. It's hard for me to do anything, I just want to sleep.

Our family dog is dying. It's expected with old age..but still a tough one. Josh's mom is going to have a really rough time. Our own dog is sick as well. He has intestinal worms, had them since we got him. He was in a puppy mill, and I'm guessing he ingested some sickly dog's feces. He has a habit of eating poop. Poor guy is sicker than he knows.


I'm so stressed. We're also moving to Georgia in like 5 months or less. So much going on, and I can't even manage to get out of bed sometimes.

I don't usually like to bitch and moan in my bloggings, but things are pretty tough for me right now. My social anxiety is at an all time high, my energy level is pretty much non existent, and I feel like I've really been letting my husband down. I know he expects much more of me, and I haven't delivered. I honestly think he needs someone more level headed and driven.


I also have been lacking in the self esteem area as well. I used to be like 110 lbs with perky boobs and a confident strut to match. I used to nude model, and had dreams of being a SG. Now...well I've gained like 60 lbs and it shows in my face, my ass, thighs, everywhere. Even when I do lose the weight, I'm sure the marks won't disappear as well No SG for me..


The friendship department is lacking too. Apparently, once you get married..you are no longer worth anyone's time. That's another main reason why I got an account..so I can possibly meet people who will accept me for me, flaws and all. I'm looking for lifetime friendships at this point. Isn't there anyone else out there who seeks the same?

Well, enough of my ramblings for the day. Till next time.

Gloomy outside >.<


Things today that have made me happy:


* Ugly Betty
* egg sandwiches
* our big screen television
* Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
* boobs...'nuff said.


I might take over the hubby's profile. I use this way more than he does.


So, everyone...what made you happy today?

First entry. Well, let's see...I'm in the National Guard and I got married 6 months ago. I haven't blogged much because I have been fighting sickness. Hopefully I'll meet some neat people on here.


On another note: If you haven't already seen Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, I suggest going and renting that. I also would like to see There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men. Have any of you seen either of those? Let me know how you liked them ^ . ^


Well, I must be off to add some more content to my profile and pictures. I will post again either later today or tomorrow. Good day, friends.