"How could I not have left you a testimonial by now? Awesome person, one of my favourite people to chill out with."

"She's the queen of Team Tiger!"

"She's the GaGa of female sleaze "

"What a cook! What a host! what a friend! There aren't enough exclamation marks to describe her cupcakes"

"What are you like?"

"Funny accent, probably has met hobbits, vegan chef extraordinaire. Pretty nice person too. A+++, will deal with again."

"An extremely useful person to have around. This one will be spared when the revolution comes."

"Ten rapes, sugartits."

"If or when the vegans take over the world. She will be the leader of this crazy minded pack. Making sure we are all eating tofu and keeping the cows happy. Until that day, I lead the veggie faction with an iron fist, hoping that day never happens."

"Has a cracking pair of tits. Makes great vegan chow. Why are we not married?"

"Lauren has this magical, alluring quality that is so hard to describe... And even harder to do without. I miss her ladylumps."

"It's not easy to find the words for how I feel about this woman, just saying I love her feels like a cop out. Lauren is one of the sexiest, loving and warm hearted people I know. She is also independent, funny and has a real love for life that inspires me. I don't think I'll ever get tired of making her laugh and smile. She makes me feel like a better person and I hope I can live up to the potential she seems to see inside of me.

All these words and this testimonial is still inadequate but it'll have to do for now."

"Rocky Horror fan............ Need I say more?"

"Lauren is my favourite kind of stoner. She's sweet, genuine, great fun and always manages to see the best in people. <3"