If great ambition without contribution is without significance, then what will your contribution be?
Please contribute,
LM
Please contribute,
LM
When you experience real love,
you get into a state which is beyond words.
Your tongue doesn't function any longer
and you aren't able to say anything
to anyone.
You are filled with a joy
that goes beyond all emotions.
This inner love,
which is real love,
is so absorbing that you remain engrossed in it.
It is so beautiful that, having attained it,
you are unlikely to abandon it.
- Swami Muktananda
you get into a state which is beyond words.
Your tongue doesn't function any longer
and you aren't able to say anything
to anyone.
You are filled with a joy
that goes beyond all emotions.
This inner love,
which is real love,
is so absorbing that you remain engrossed in it.
It is so beautiful that, having attained it,
you are unlikely to abandon it.
- Swami Muktananda
This is my first time on a computer in days. For me at least that's pretty unusual, considering half of my work is based on computers. I started working at this really great record store in town and it's turned out to be so much fun. My many neurotic habits of correct spelling and alphabetizing and organizing CDs has found a perfect home. I now get paid to do much of the same shit that I loved doing in the first place. Plus I get to meet loads of great people all day long. Totally rules. But the hours are really long and I'm always so beat by the time I get home that I just sleep until it's time to work again. Oh, well. At least I'm having fun, and I go home with tons of new music every night.
Met Chloe for a brief spell today, I reckon she was searching for hardcore records. Nice girl. Also saw the Wilco movie tonight. So much better than I even imagined. If youre at all a fan, totally go see it. Apologies for this entry being so rambling and all over the place, it's been a long day and I'm too tired to make sense. I hope everyone has a lovely week! Take care of yourselves and get more rest than I have.
Cheers,
LM
Met Chloe for a brief spell today, I reckon she was searching for hardcore records. Nice girl. Also saw the Wilco movie tonight. So much better than I even imagined. If youre at all a fan, totally go see it. Apologies for this entry being so rambling and all over the place, it's been a long day and I'm too tired to make sense. I hope everyone has a lovely week! Take care of yourselves and get more rest than I have.
Cheers,
LM
Alright, here we go.
I am... tall, blue/green eyes, charming, sincere, insomniac, workaholic, musician, artist, self-motivated, self-employed, fiercely dedicated, eternally grateful for where I am, pretty smart, funny when you need to laugh, huggable when you need to cry, quiet when you need to scream, patient to the very end, avid collector of music, frequent live show fan, perfectionist, great speller, talker to anyone who will listen, listener to anyone who will talk.
I am into... playing surrogate father to my many children (aka the bands on the label), listening to music, playing music, making little gifts for people I love, traveling to distant states, traveling to distant countries, eating late night dinners, working until my body tells me no more, driving around aimlessly just to keep listening to music in my van, sitting on my front porch, drinking iced tea, going back to Kentucky to visit my family, meeting new people that inspire me.
Looking for someone who... truly loves others and loves themselves, has quirky little neuroses because I think theyre cutre and funny, committed to pursuing their dreams, knows they want me as much as I want them, self-motivated, passionate about life, charming, funny, generous, likes to travel, likes to play cards and scrabble on the front porch in the summer, likes warm blankets, loves music, loves life.
I am... tall, blue/green eyes, charming, sincere, insomniac, workaholic, musician, artist, self-motivated, self-employed, fiercely dedicated, eternally grateful for where I am, pretty smart, funny when you need to laugh, huggable when you need to cry, quiet when you need to scream, patient to the very end, avid collector of music, frequent live show fan, perfectionist, great speller, talker to anyone who will listen, listener to anyone who will talk.
I am into... playing surrogate father to my many children (aka the bands on the label), listening to music, playing music, making little gifts for people I love, traveling to distant states, traveling to distant countries, eating late night dinners, working until my body tells me no more, driving around aimlessly just to keep listening to music in my van, sitting on my front porch, drinking iced tea, going back to Kentucky to visit my family, meeting new people that inspire me.
Looking for someone who... truly loves others and loves themselves, has quirky little neuroses because I think theyre cutre and funny, committed to pursuing their dreams, knows they want me as much as I want them, self-motivated, passionate about life, charming, funny, generous, likes to travel, likes to play cards and scrabble on the front porch in the summer, likes warm blankets, loves music, loves life.
My heart could collapse at any minute, given the right push. My love for you is greater than your assumption of what my love for you could be. What seems so far away is in fact right next to you. Have a safe trip, dear.
Much love,
LM
Much love,
LM
Today has been the greatest day yet since I've lived in Portland. I moved into my beautiful new house and I got my computer set up so I'm back online and I don't have to pay $4 every day to sit in an internet cafe for an hour, even though they listen to some classic early 90s grunge in there all the time which almost made it worth it.
The best news of all might be that I got a new job at Jackpot Records! I'm super stoked as this will be my first full-time job in about five years. I started the record label about seven years ago and it's been my only source of income for the last few years, so it will be really nice to get back into the swing of working a proper job where I know how much I'm gonna bring home every week. Owning your own business is tons of fun and it definitely has its list of perks, but financial security is not always one of them. Plus working in a col record store means I can get loads of good music for cheap. My life is about to get so much better. I feel good. I'm gonna go get some juice. Who's coming with me? Hello? Is anybody out there? Is this thing on?
Have a great week!
LM
The best news of all might be that I got a new job at Jackpot Records! I'm super stoked as this will be my first full-time job in about five years. I started the record label about seven years ago and it's been my only source of income for the last few years, so it will be really nice to get back into the swing of working a proper job where I know how much I'm gonna bring home every week. Owning your own business is tons of fun and it definitely has its list of perks, but financial security is not always one of them. Plus working in a col record store means I can get loads of good music for cheap. My life is about to get so much better. I feel good. I'm gonna go get some juice. Who's coming with me? Hello? Is anybody out there? Is this thing on?
Have a great week!
LM
Crushes are so weird. Right now there's a girl on the other side of the country that just wants me to want her the way she wants me. But instead I'm 3,000 miles away feeling totally nervous and anxious about some other girl that I don't even know very well. Why do we never take the easiest paths to love? Why is it always so difficult to navigate?
There's a girl here that makes me feel so consumed by my own butterflies that I can't even be in her presence for more than a few minutes at a time. I haven't felt this way in years. I mean YEARS. Any abilities to maintain my confidence are so lost about five minutes into our conversations. It's so weird. I feel like I'm 17 again. What the fuck?!
It's times like this that I almost want to just get it over with and tell her how I feel so she can go ahead and feel too uncomfortable to hang out with me anymore and it can just be over and done with. Maybe that sounds a bit too self-destructive, but I totally get that feeling sometimes, like doing that would be so much better than thinking about her when I'm driving around town and wondering why I feel this way.
I've spent a year and a half totally avoiding relationships. I've removed myself from the notion completely and suddenly I move here and straight away I get all silly again. Fuck all. Good thing I'm moving into my new house in two days. I can just submerge myself in work again and wait for the butterflies to fly away. Ugh. Crushes are so weird.
Cheers,
LM
There's a girl here that makes me feel so consumed by my own butterflies that I can't even be in her presence for more than a few minutes at a time. I haven't felt this way in years. I mean YEARS. Any abilities to maintain my confidence are so lost about five minutes into our conversations. It's so weird. I feel like I'm 17 again. What the fuck?!
It's times like this that I almost want to just get it over with and tell her how I feel so she can go ahead and feel too uncomfortable to hang out with me anymore and it can just be over and done with. Maybe that sounds a bit too self-destructive, but I totally get that feeling sometimes, like doing that would be so much better than thinking about her when I'm driving around town and wondering why I feel this way.
I've spent a year and a half totally avoiding relationships. I've removed myself from the notion completely and suddenly I move here and straight away I get all silly again. Fuck all. Good thing I'm moving into my new house in two days. I can just submerge myself in work again and wait for the butterflies to fly away. Ugh. Crushes are so weird.
Cheers,
LM
