IPOD
RADIO
I have to admit that staying up until the wee hours of the morning, talking to a cute guy that I'm crushing on, is pretty damn awesome.
I don't really have anything to add to that.
The end.
xoxo
Q
I don't really have anything to add to that.
The end.
xoxo
Q
New blog? Why, I'd love to.
Firstly, go here and join my new group. I am so excited about it, and yet it's such a lonely little group. It'll be fun. We'll listen to NSYNC songs and play pogs and tie-dye our own shirts!
Secondly, I've been painting fun things lately. I made a folder in my pictures called "Art". That is where I keep my *dun dun dun* art.
Other than those two things, nothing much is going on in my life. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to continue IMing cute boys.
TTYL
xoxo
Q
Firstly, go here and join my new group. I am so excited about it, and yet it's such a lonely little group. It'll be fun. We'll listen to NSYNC songs and play pogs and tie-dye our own shirts!
Secondly, I've been painting fun things lately. I made a folder in my pictures called "Art". That is where I keep my *dun dun dun* art.
Other than those two things, nothing much is going on in my life. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to continue IMing cute boys.
TTYL
xoxo
Q
I am still sick. This is not fun, and I'm over it. I have consumed way too much NyQuil and sudaphed and they have done jack squat to make me healthier. I am sneezy & coughy & I sleep all day. 
This is very lame.
In other news, I did another survey. I know they're lame, but it's how I can keep my blog updated.
This is very lame.In other news, I did another survey. I know they're lame, but it's how I can keep my blog updated.
I also got ownership of the group Motherless Daughters, so if that in any way pertains to you, join up.
xoxo
Q
This isn't myspace.... But I did a survey anyways.
I also thought I'd run my "future tattoos" by you.
xoxo
Q
Roommates: You think it's cool til one of them passes on their illness to you.
*cough*sneeze*
*cough*sneeze*
I just cut and colored HugZombies hair. And when I say cut.... I mean it. It went from nipple-length to chin-length. And from brown to grape. She looks hot though, I swear. So don't kill me for choppin her hair off.
I think I'm gonna go do my own now.
Step #1:
I think I'm gonna go do my own now.
Step #1:
Step #2:
Step #3:
Step #4:
Oh, you silly little bitch of an ex. You really think I give a shit what you say about me selling my car? I don't care if it's paid off and reliable. I am not driving it across the country, and I need some extra cash. Since when do you get an opinion anyway? 
As soon as my HLP HugZombie wakes up, I plan on heading to the tattoo/piercery and getting my gauges jacked up to a zero. Yep. That's how I roll.
Also, why is everyone asleep at 5am? Come on people, entertain me.
xoxo
Q
As soon as my HLP HugZombie wakes up, I plan on heading to the tattoo/piercery and getting my gauges jacked up to a zero. Yep. That's how I roll.
Also, why is everyone asleep at 5am? Come on people, entertain me.
xoxo
Q
My father keeps sending me e-mails that really aren't helping him get on my good side. He sent me the Dr. Phil Life Laws , and just this morning he sent me a link to a website that is supposed to prove to me that I will never be able to get a job in Ohio that will pay me as much as he used to give me from my trust. He really isn't making it easy for me to like him. And it sucks so bad, because I feel like I HAVE to have a relationship with him. I mean, my mom is dead, and I just know she wouldn't want me to give up on my dad. But he is such a pompous jerk. It's so frustrating, I just want to cry, but I know that will only mean he's winning. He gets some sick pleasure out of always being right. /sigh
Life is unpleasant and difficult. I can't figure out what I should do. Nothing seems to pan out the way I hope for it to. My prospects all run into brick walls and dead ends. I wish I could just find a niche or some little corner of the world where I feel like I belong.
xoxo
Q
, and just this morning he sent me a link to a website that is supposed to prove to me that I will never be able to get a job in Ohio that will pay me as much as he used to give me from my trust. He really isn't making it easy for me to like him. And it sucks so bad, because I feel like I HAVE to have a relationship with him. I mean, my mom is dead, and I just know she wouldn't want me to give up on my dad. But he is such a pompous jerk. It's so frustrating, I just want to cry, but I know that will only mean he's winning. He gets some sick pleasure out of always being right. /sighLife is unpleasant and difficult. I can't figure out what I should do. Nothing seems to pan out the way I hope for it to. My prospects all run into brick walls and dead ends. I wish I could just find a niche or some little corner of the world where I feel like I belong.
xoxo
Q
Not well written, but I just posted this somewhere else and it made me feel really fucking good to vent it.
Fuck you Dad for being an insensitive jerk and blaming everything on me. I hate that you are so good to your wife's family and still so shitty to your own. I know that's why Mom put you in charge of my trust when she died... so I would still talk to you. Well, now I have no reason to. I'm kind of relieved. I'll be poor now that you're cutting me off, but I'll be a hell of a lot happier that I don't have to deal with the emotional abuse anymore. I tried to like you, to be close to you, to have a relationship with you. I wanted to be the one kid that didn't hate you, I wanted to prove the boys wrong. Fuck you. I was making you artwork for Fathers Day, of the two of us hiking when I was little. It was really cool, and I worked hard on it. You don't deserve my time or effort. I won't waste any more time calling you for your opinions, or just to chat. I give up. Everyone's been telling me to for a long time, and I defended you cuz you're my DAD. But, even though you are my dad, that doesn't make you a good guy. And I think it's unhealthy to keep you in my life at this point.
Fuck you ex-boyfriend. I don't know where to begin with you. You lead me on. You feigned a relationship with me. We were together for 2 years, and in that time you loved me. And for the past year, we kept hanging out, dating, talking on the phone, having sex. It was a good relationship apart from the fact that I couldn't say "I love you" anymore without fear of rejection. So, I comprimised my morals and happiness because I wanted to be with you and pretend that we could be happy together. That is until you told my best friend that you don't care if I move across the country and you've been dating other girls. I know it's my own fault, but I still say fuck you. And your backhanded compliment of "You have such a pretty face, you should respect your body more" made me want to kick you in the balls. Go fuck yourself, heart breaker. I should have given up on you a long time ago
Fuck you Dad for being an insensitive jerk and blaming everything on me. I hate that you are so good to your wife's family and still so shitty to your own. I know that's why Mom put you in charge of my trust when she died... so I would still talk to you. Well, now I have no reason to. I'm kind of relieved. I'll be poor now that you're cutting me off, but I'll be a hell of a lot happier that I don't have to deal with the emotional abuse anymore. I tried to like you, to be close to you, to have a relationship with you. I wanted to be the one kid that didn't hate you, I wanted to prove the boys wrong. Fuck you. I was making you artwork for Fathers Day, of the two of us hiking when I was little. It was really cool, and I worked hard on it. You don't deserve my time or effort. I won't waste any more time calling you for your opinions, or just to chat. I give up. Everyone's been telling me to for a long time, and I defended you cuz you're my DAD. But, even though you are my dad, that doesn't make you a good guy. And I think it's unhealthy to keep you in my life at this point.
Fuck you ex-boyfriend. I don't know where to begin with you. You lead me on. You feigned a relationship with me. We were together for 2 years, and in that time you loved me. And for the past year, we kept hanging out, dating, talking on the phone, having sex. It was a good relationship apart from the fact that I couldn't say "I love you" anymore without fear of rejection. So, I comprimised my morals and happiness because I wanted to be with you and pretend that we could be happy together. That is until you told my best friend that you don't care if I move across the country and you've been dating other girls. I know it's my own fault, but I still say fuck you. And your backhanded compliment of "You have such a pretty face, you should respect your body more" made me want to kick you in the balls. Go fuck yourself, heart breaker. I should have given up on you a long time ago
So, I was gone a lot longer than it seemed. 21 days, to be exact. Can you believe it? I spent my days watching CSI and playing Sims2.
And when the Comcast service man got here, you know what he did? He changed my internet settings. It took him under one minute to get my internet working. Why the hell couldn't they have walked me through that shit on the PHONE?! He said it would have been too confusing for me. And then I wanted to punch him.
Either way, I am back. Yay online.
I started taking Paxil and Lamictal to help with my depression/anxiety/imafuckingcrazybitch. It's beginning to help, but I'm still not comfortable around people. And my dad suggested that, in addition to going back to school, I start volunteering with people so I can make new friends. I tried to explain to him that shoving me into crowded social situations is not helpful to my condition, but he seems to think that I should 'give back', as he puts it. That I have so much it's selfish of me to not go out and volunteer with people. Nevermind that my 3 older brothers were all given the same financial opportunities as me, but squandered their money. One of them bought a house and boat, refuses to work, and has 3 kids. One is on meth, 'tricks' out his car, and had his kid taken away by CPS. The other is doing well, has 4 kids and is in Iraq right now. So, I guess that my dad wants at least 50% of his children to be of service to society.
Understandable. Except that I have heart palpitations like crazy when I'm out in public. I went into Subway for a sandwich today and could barely breathe.
But there's no use arguing with my dad when he's made up his mind. So I cried a little, hung up the phone, bought some skittles and now I'm venting to you folks. After 21 I doubt you care, but that's the way it is.
I love you all, btw.
And when the Comcast service man got here, you know what he did? He changed my internet settings. It took him under one minute to get my internet working. Why the hell couldn't they have walked me through that shit on the PHONE?! He said it would have been too confusing for me. And then I wanted to punch him.
Either way, I am back. Yay online.
I started taking Paxil and Lamictal to help with my depression/anxiety/imafuckingcrazybitch. It's beginning to help, but I'm still not comfortable around people. And my dad suggested that, in addition to going back to school, I start volunteering with people so I can make new friends. I tried to explain to him that shoving me into crowded social situations is not helpful to my condition, but he seems to think that I should 'give back', as he puts it. That I have so much it's selfish of me to not go out and volunteer with people. Nevermind that my 3 older brothers were all given the same financial opportunities as me, but squandered their money. One of them bought a house and boat, refuses to work, and has 3 kids. One is on meth, 'tricks' out his car, and had his kid taken away by CPS. The other is doing well, has 4 kids and is in Iraq right now. So, I guess that my dad wants at least 50% of his children to be of service to society.
Understandable. Except that I have heart palpitations like crazy when I'm out in public. I went into Subway for a sandwich today and could barely breathe.
But there's no use arguing with my dad when he's made up his mind. So I cried a little, hung up the phone, bought some skittles and now I'm venting to you folks. After 21 I doubt you care, but that's the way it is.
I love you all, btw.
