It's such a lovely smokey day with the Cali fires burning half force now but full for mostly. God I just love the orange sky because of someone else's incompetence.

I need a coffee enema.

Starting school soon. Getting shoes today. About to hop in the shower. Then shoes, then the mountains. I missed you Colorado Mountains!

I'm in Galway. It is so nice here!

My goal is to feel good naked. I'll write out a place for this year and next year and it'll be something I follow alright? Thinking of joining the Navy or air force. Somewhere I wouldn't ever have to kill people or shit, I should apply as a medic. But now I have so many joint problems we'd have to see if that was a problem. Conflicted since I am so anti military in some ways but I'm only against the use of it, not the people.

Lovely day to be inside. It's actually really perfect weather out just to be chilling with the window open. It's windy and cool but still warm enough that the breeze is nice. Off to Ireland tomorrow. Laundry is in the washer, I'll have some clean underwear and such. Thinking about what I'm going to do when I get back. I'm already busy with plans and such but I can't wait to just have a chill with Sam and Quinn and catch up. Anna is cleaning her place supposedly so that I can stay there when I get back. That would actually be perfect if I have a bus pass by then. I may not but either way it's like right near school. She'll be in Jail so I can watch her place and all that until she gets out. I have a court date and school things in Denver so it would be a good idea. Just while she's in jail though. Unless hopefully jail will straiten her out a little bit because I think she needs to stop drinking for a while. She needs to turn her life around. Hoping jail will help her. She has potential.

I love being naked, one of the best feelings in the world is to be comfortable naked. I need to get fit. I used to love myself even when I hated myself I could sometimes love myself. Haven't felt that in a long time. I'm working on it. Will bike more when I get back.

So it's nice out. Had my friends employees show up just as I'm sitting in my pj's downstairs. Shit how embarrassing. I quickly put on some clothes but they were leaving by the time I'd dressed.

I'm feeling really sick today for some reason and sadly enough I'm thinking (am I pregnant?) but that's not a real worry... I don't think. I think it's actually because I'm about to have my period and I can't recall if that makes me sick but it does make me really irritated with everything really easily so maybe my body gets stressed out too and gets sick. I want to go to Camdentown today but there's a tube strike on that's starting at like 19:00 and I don't want to be stuck that far away from Leytonstone. If it were like Walthamstow or Wanstead I could take a bus, or even Bloomsbury has a really convenient bus but I always get lost on the bus if I haven't taken it before so I'd rather not have to deal with that.

I'm wondering tomorrow what I'll do about the strike since I have to get to Gatwick. The TFL site is down (most likely crashed by people finding alternative routes for tomorrow for work. Well I guess even for tonight for work) and I really don't know when I'll be able to look it up. If I can get a bus to the train station though I can take the Gatwick express. That won't be on strike. But I'd still like to look up if they have a bus. The bus is wicked cheap and the Gatwick Express is fairly pricey in my opinion. Although convenient. So I knew I'd made my plane ticket for later in the day for a reason. Because of shit like this. I don't mind. I mean I don't know who's in the right but I do believe that people have the right to strike if they honestly feel it's unfair (whatever they're dealing with) even if they aren't in the right. They just need to sit down and discuss budget with the people. Right now isn't the time to be selfish but you also can't let people screw you over if they don't have to.

I've finally gotten an adapter so I can use my phone as a mp3 player. The headphone jack is fucking 2.5 and seeing as 3.5 is standard and there is enough fucking space for it on the phone to be a 3.5 I'm pretty pissed at LG for making it a non-standard plug. That's just stupid. I'm not going to buy their headphones to put in it so they didn't gain much from that except my irritation.

Maybe I should eat something. Might make me feel better. But all in all I'm happy just sick feeling.

Dear Hustler,

I am that girl. I am that girl in the letters to hustler that you honestly can't believe half the time. Jesus. I need a break.

I had sex with the neighbor. I'm sure you're wondering why I would sleep with someone when I have a boyfriend. When I say we have an understanding, it's more like, we live in completely different countries and I can't expect him not to fuck other girls so we aren't like being boyfriend girlfriend unless we're together. I know, excuses excuses but it's not really a problem. It would be a problem if we decide to get more couply but I'm not sure I want to do that with someone in another country. We're as official as I'd like to get at this point. If he finds someone more convenient to date it would hurt but it would also make sense.

But if he wants to commit I will too.

That all being said I do feel less ugly now.

Going out tonight with Liz. It'll be fun to go out in Leytonstone since I've not really gone out here. Fun because it's basically local and I would like to be able to party places where I can walk from. Not a whole lot going on but the pub right next to the house seems like Friday might be a good night. It was last night and I wasn't even there, just listening to the loud crowd.

Liz is making Lemon Syllabub for our desert. I think tonight will be nice.

Depressed? Don't know why. Need some motivation. Feeling ugly don't want to go outside.