Sunday

So its sunday, and things i am happy to say are a lot more happy and relaxed (at least for now) ended up having quite a hideous day yesterday what with the lack of sleep and fighting a lot and stuff but now all is well, i apologised for being horrible and explained i just get scared, mostly that something might happen and i wont know where he is and i wont have anyone to help me!
But last night someone (who i havent seen in months) pointed out to me thats stupid, coz even if i can't find nick he would always come and pick me up if needed, and listed a couple of other people who would, and now the more i think about it the more i realise that there are actually quite a few people i know that i would be able to count on in that kind of situation *points at people expectantly* you know who you are, especially one of you who will read this who i just remembered doesn't live too far away
I was also assured by Nick that he won't be doing this stuff for much longer, i think he is still struggling to see that in a few months we will have a baby, i mean i am too, totally, but i can feel her move and stuff all the time and know she is there and am also very aware of how long until i will have to figure out how exactly she will get out of me?! In a few weeks when we have moved house and im getting bigger and so on i know it will all settle down again, i should just be glad he is getting it out of his system while he can shouldn't i, and not waiting until i'm about to drop and going out getting so drunk!
Ahhhh the joys of hormones it wil all be worth it when almost dead on four months from now we will be able to both hold our daughter (unless she decides to be early then it will be less time from now lol but she won't be late, not allowed to for various reasons lol)
Right on with the day, put the washing on, make a cup of tea, put some family guy on a mem stick for laptop and the go clean the oven AGAIN! i will get it finished today!!
xx xx

p.s. look its my daughter eep so much bigger than her last pic! and pretending to be shy and hide her face, as if thats gonna happen with me and nick as her parents!!

Saturday

So its 4.05am on saturday morning and i'm awake! In a way i wish i could say its just one of those nights and i have no idea why i can't sleep, but in reality i know exactly why i am awake at stupid o'clock in the morning! Because my other half is still out, he did the classic man thing that he does every single time he goes out,
"i'm just gonna go out for a little bit to the local, just a couple, can't really afford to go out and i've got a lot to do tomorrow, definately won't be going into town!" and what this, 4am and he isnt home, and when i finally got irritated enough to text to find out where he is (mostly because he has promised his dad that he will go and help him work on our new house at 9am and we have less than three weeks before we have to move in) and what is the reply i get?
"in the casino, love you" i mean seriously?!?! he says that he cant afford to do things he wants to do all the time as he needs to buy stuff for the new house and the baby yet he is in the casino drunk and 4am, you can't tell me that he isnt spending a whole heap of money in there!?
So the general reason for this rant is that i am annoyed as i should be asleep but really struggle to when i don't know where he is, though even if i knew i would still be having trouble sleeping when it got to like 3, 4, 5am and he hadnt come home yet.

Other than that things are good, baby is doing well and i can feel her kicking and moving now which is very very odd! But i'm tres excited about getting to see her again as i have to have an extra scan on wednesday, and then we are booking in for one of the crazy 4d scans in august sometime which will be weird coz you can actually see their face and everything.

Anyways rant and bump update over i'm going to try and find something to play online to distract me coz now i'm awake i'm feeling rather sick and have a really sore tummy.

Night y'all
xx xx

Saturday.

Its just gone 7am and i've already been awake for almost an hour, no reason (besides the alarm going off) but i couldnt go back to sleep. Seems like my other half isnt talking to me over a stupid comment i made last night (so its ok for him to make 'jokes' about me getting fat and hideous but if i say something then he stops talking to me!) and im guessing it will continue that way for a while.

Today however i am going to birmingham to the sea life centre with two of my wonderful mates (see andy i thinks your wonderful) and im hoping that it will make me feel better, or at least distract me for a while.

In other news baby is doing good, got another scan in just under 3 weeks so will hopefully know if its a boy or a girl I'm sure half the world will know when as soon as i do.

i think i might go back to bed, but i dont want to just lay there being ignored, its horrid, sharing a bed with someone who wont even turn over and give you a hug proper sucks! Unless its someone who shouldnt be doing that then its ok......

so yeah a bit of a self pitying post but nevermind

xx

Wednesday

So i figure as everyone else seems to know i would also post it on here, but i am going to be having a baby in november, the 6th to be precise, well thats my due date, and here is a picture of the first scan that we had today....



x

Saturday

So it would appear it has been a very long time since i was last here! Five months in fact! Wow, that is a very very long time!!

So many things have come and gone in that time, and a lot of things have happened, and a lot is still going on. I realise that wasnt an overly interesting comment to make, and didnt actually tell you anything, but hey, its all about the mystery

lol
xx

Wednesday.

Ok so its been a long time, and there has been a lot going on and it is with a tinge of sadness i can say, i am longer a hopeful, after a lot of thinking and a few discussions i have taken down the pictures.

erm all is busy in the world of me, but i do not have time to write everything right now, however i shall say one thing, i'm gettin married yay!

i am extremely happy and when i have two minutes more i will write a full update
xx

P.S YOU KNOW ME ON FACEBOOK PLEASE DONT COMMENT ON MY ENGAGEMENT ON THERE LOL, VARIOUS MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY ARE ON THERE AND I HAVENT TOLD THEM YET LOL. (cant be bothered with the grief/hassle they will give about it all until xmas time when they will all be occupied with their own drama)

Wednesday.

Ok so i figured i would write some more on here, so here is a blog with a bunch of pics from my phone

So right now its almost 9pm and i'm layin on my bed chilling out, and.....


watching buffy hehe

I've been at work all day...


but now am happy to be back here in front of my computer...


Here are a few pics of things i've done in the last month or so, like going out on a boat, going to ikea and going to the mayball at uni...


erm i have also found this....

which made me giggle, but i can't figure out how the book shop can get away with having this section in there...

i also had gelato, mmmmmmmmmm


sometimes i dress like a real girl for work

and just to finish it off here is the view out of my window from my bed, its just a big tree really, but i like it, makes me forget quite how close to London i am living at the moment

so until next time, for anyone who may read this, bye bye

xxx

Friday.

so i'm kinda in a weird place right now, like my head is so so busy but i'm really tired and i have to get up in about 7 hours, but i just dont know what to do with myself right now. I feel like tonight is the end of this chapter of my life, but really its not, tomorrow is, once i've handed over that bit of paper and filled in a few boxes on a computer screen, then its all over. Five years! five years of my life, the worst five years of my life by far, but the best five years by so much further. And i've survived it. I didnt quit, i kept coming back and finally its over. I feel a little thinkin about it like that! In the immortal words of the slayer

I feel like i should bow, or have honour or something?

Not that this has really said much but i just needed to record this moment

xx

Tuesday.

"All change people, all change! this is the final stop for this train"

The university train i mean I am but 6,350 words-ish away from completing my degree!

And then i move back to my parents house for a little while and it is sad but.....


CANADA HERE I COME! yes thats right folks (and sorry anyone who may be from Toronto or surrounding areas) but come mid november I will be inhabiting your wonderful city for 12 entire months! =D Well subject to visa's and such but it is all in progress and shouldnt hit any hitches along the way

so yes, i have almost finished university, FOREVER! and i am moving away from the city i have lived in for the last 5 years, and in about 6 months time i am leaving the country i have always lived in!

Oh the excitement!

Well it will be exciting once i manage to get my assignments done and handed in! =)

Love and Cake

xx

p.s i think everyone should find me lots of friends in Toronto hehe