I'm feeling really funny right now.
Somehow depressed and happy at the same time...if that makes sense.
And yet, at the same time, I'm pretty proud of myself. I finally did something that I've never done before.
I believe I've talked about Brandy in my blog previously, (if you don't recall, just refer to this entry).
As a recap: I asked her out....she was with someone. He ended up dumping her....but she was'nt ready for something new.
I keep getting the feeling that she likes me "that way"...but I also keep getting the "just friends" vibe as well. I really wish I knew.
She keeps confiding in me. Talking to me. Coming to me when she's upset or has a problem. But it all seems to be in that 'good buddy" capacity. Yeah....I'm pretty sure she just sees me a "just a friend"...even though I really want more.
Recently, she confided something very private to me....something that's got her "on the fence" as it were...happy and upset at the same time (yeah, I know...it's a recurring theme). She came to see me at work last night. We talked for a pretty long time...on various things. At one point, she said "Why can't you guys make up your mind about what you want?!" refering to what this other fella's feelings were toward her. And she quickly retracted "Except for you of course." It was at this point that I told her how I really felt about her.
Not in a begging, desperate sort of way.
Nor in a happy, cheerful, joking sort of way
I was just honest, straightforward and yet still calm and confident about it.
I told her that I was still her friend, but I wanted more than just that. I made it very clear that I have more than just a friendly interest in her. But if friendship was all she could give me, then I was ok with that.....I would still be there for her in that capacity.
We kept on talking. We talked for awhile...we hugged for awhile. At one point she needed to cry on my shoulder (over something else, not about what I just mentioned)
It was then she mentioned that right now, she needed friends more than anything....
I understood. Yet somehow, I still get this feeling that maybe, later down the road, there may be room for something more. I really don't know.
I think for right now, I'm just going to keep my heart open to possibilities...to whatever, or whomever, comes along.
Depressed...because once again, I'm just a shoulder to cry on...just a friend.
Happy...because she can still come to me...that there may, possibly, be room for more.
Proud...because I finally made a stand...because I made myself clear...and that, while this still hurts, I'm not gonna let it beat me down!!!
She may not be my road to happiness...but damnit, I'm not giving up!
That's all I've got for now...I'm spent.
Later my friends.
P.S. If you read my blog, please, leave me a comment...even if you just say "Hi". Even if you don't read it all. Believe it or not, comments really make my day!
Later.
Somehow depressed and happy at the same time...if that makes sense.
And yet, at the same time, I'm pretty proud of myself. I finally did something that I've never done before.
I believe I've talked about Brandy in my blog previously, (if you don't recall, just refer to this entry).
As a recap: I asked her out....she was with someone. He ended up dumping her....but she was'nt ready for something new.
I keep getting the feeling that she likes me "that way"...but I also keep getting the "just friends" vibe as well. I really wish I knew.
She keeps confiding in me. Talking to me. Coming to me when she's upset or has a problem. But it all seems to be in that 'good buddy" capacity. Yeah....I'm pretty sure she just sees me a "just a friend"...even though I really want more.
Recently, she confided something very private to me....something that's got her "on the fence" as it were...happy and upset at the same time (yeah, I know...it's a recurring theme). She came to see me at work last night. We talked for a pretty long time...on various things. At one point, she said "Why can't you guys make up your mind about what you want?!" refering to what this other fella's feelings were toward her. And she quickly retracted "Except for you of course." It was at this point that I told her how I really felt about her.
Not in a begging, desperate sort of way.
Nor in a happy, cheerful, joking sort of way
I was just honest, straightforward and yet still calm and confident about it.
I told her that I was still her friend, but I wanted more than just that. I made it very clear that I have more than just a friendly interest in her. But if friendship was all she could give me, then I was ok with that.....I would still be there for her in that capacity.
We kept on talking. We talked for awhile...we hugged for awhile. At one point she needed to cry on my shoulder (over something else, not about what I just mentioned)
It was then she mentioned that right now, she needed friends more than anything....
I understood. Yet somehow, I still get this feeling that maybe, later down the road, there may be room for something more. I really don't know.
I think for right now, I'm just going to keep my heart open to possibilities...to whatever, or whomever, comes along.
Depressed...because once again, I'm just a shoulder to cry on...just a friend.
Happy...because she can still come to me...that there may, possibly, be room for more.
Proud...because I finally made a stand...because I made myself clear...and that, while this still hurts, I'm not gonna let it beat me down!!!
She may not be my road to happiness...but damnit, I'm not giving up!
That's all I've got for now...I'm spent.
Later my friends.
P.S. If you read my blog, please, leave me a comment...even if you just say "Hi". Even if you don't read it all. Believe it or not, comments really make my day!
Later.
I'm back!
Sorry for the long hiatus.
Just a quick update for now...let me introduce you to someone...
Meet my nephew, Connor.
I'll have more later.
Later my friends.
Sorry for the long hiatus.
Just a quick update for now...let me introduce you to someone...
Meet my nephew, Connor.
I'll have more later.
Later my friends.
Well, I got my vacation...as a matter of fact, it starts now!
I'll be leaving for Dad's in Illinois this afternoon.
Sorry I have'nt been around much...had several things preoccupying my time.
I'll catch up with y'all later.
Later my friends.
I'll be leaving for Dad's in Illinois this afternoon.
Sorry I have'nt been around much...had several things preoccupying my time.
I'll catch up with y'all later.
Later my friends.
Enought of that! Everything turned out fine.
Now if I can just get my vacation the week of July 13th through 19th I'll be able to finally relax.
I need a vacation pretty bad. I gave one of them up last year and was never financially compensated for it (like my manager told me he would do
!)
If I can just get that first one of the year in I should'nt have to fight with management about the others. (I should'nt have to fight with them about it in the first place!)
I hate being indispensible!
Later my friends.
Now if I can just get my vacation the week of July 13th through 19th I'll be able to finally relax.
I need a vacation pretty bad. I gave one of them up last year and was never financially compensated for it (like my manager told me he would do
!)If I can just get that first one of the year in I should'nt have to fight with management about the others. (I should'nt have to fight with them about it in the first place!)
I hate being indispensible!
Later my friends.
I Fucking HATE this!
I keep looking at the phone just waiting for it to ring...knowing work is going to try and call me in YET AGAIN!!
They've been doing it alot here lately....probably why you have'nt seen much from me.
I need to get hold of myself and get more positive, and stop worrying about shit....and not just this, other things as well....or I'm going to drive myself batshit-crazy.
Sorry, but I had to rant and let it out.
Later my friends.
I keep looking at the phone just waiting for it to ring...knowing work is going to try and call me in YET AGAIN!!
They've been doing it alot here lately....probably why you have'nt seen much from me.
I need to get hold of myself and get more positive, and stop worrying about shit....and not just this, other things as well....or I'm going to drive myself batshit-crazy.
Sorry, but I had to rant and let it out.
Later my friends.
On May 25th on Sunday at 1pm, a fellow colleague, co-worker, and good friend from Kroger, died of a massive stroke related to a tumor he had removed. I had'nt mentioned it before, because we all had high hopes and had expected a full recovery from him...so this was a great shock....at least to me.
Funeral services will be held at 2pm today at Desha Baptist Church.
I'm gonna miss you Donny...I will always consider you a good friend.
Funeral services will be held at 2pm today at Desha Baptist Church.
I'm gonna miss you Donny...I will always consider you a good friend.
Meerschaum Pipes and Relationship Confusion!!!
I've mentioned before that I smoke cigars...but I don't think I ever mentioned that occasionally, I like to smoke a bowl from a pipe.
I've especially been doing it here more recently than cigars...I don't really know why. The mood just hit me.
And, recently as well, I've been buying more pipes. Now all I've ever owned in the past were the cheapo Dr. Graybow pipes you can get just about anywhere. But for the longest time, I've looked at and admired some of the other types iof pipes I've seen online, especially Meerschaum pipes, mostly for the asthetic beauty. They are truly smokeable works of art...but I never really thought seriously about buying one until recently.
Well, last Thursday, I did it!! I just decided to go ahead and buy a couple...just on a frivolous whim. And yet I don't regret it!!
Take a look and you'll see why.
(Please forgive the quality, as I had to take these with my cell)
On display
My Lion Meerschaum (these turned out bad for some reason...sorry)
This one is a popular design...a Dragon's Claw holding and egg.
I also got a new tamper. This one is actually a replica of one from 18th century England.
I'm just so proud of them. They smoke really nice too!
Things are going well here with me so far. Went to see Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian with Brandy last night (she's the one I've been mentioning here lately...refer to previous entries)
I really don't know what to think about her. I mean, I do like her, quite alot in fact. But I'm still wondering what she thinks of me. After she broke up with her last boyfriend, one of the first things she told me was that she was'nt ready for another relationship. And so far, she has'nt said anything different...but, I think she's giving me signals. i just don't know. I've never been any good at this sort of thing.
She calls or texts me at least every other night, if not every night!
She gives me a great big hug everytime I see her, that lasts just a little longer than a friendly one does.
She's always smiling whenever I'm around her.
I just don't know how to read any of it. Does she really just want to be a friend, or is there a chance for more there? Damnit I wish I knew! I'm so confused when it comes to her, I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my ass!
I'm thinking about just asking her straight out if there's a chance for more there.
I dunno.
Inventory is coming up a work again. God, how I dread it!
Oh well. That's all I've got for now.
Later my friends.
I've mentioned before that I smoke cigars...but I don't think I ever mentioned that occasionally, I like to smoke a bowl from a pipe.
I've especially been doing it here more recently than cigars...I don't really know why. The mood just hit me.
And, recently as well, I've been buying more pipes. Now all I've ever owned in the past were the cheapo Dr. Graybow pipes you can get just about anywhere. But for the longest time, I've looked at and admired some of the other types iof pipes I've seen online, especially Meerschaum pipes, mostly for the asthetic beauty. They are truly smokeable works of art...but I never really thought seriously about buying one until recently.
Well, last Thursday, I did it!! I just decided to go ahead and buy a couple...just on a frivolous whim. And yet I don't regret it!!
Take a look and you'll see why.
(Please forgive the quality, as I had to take these with my cell)
On display
My Lion Meerschaum (these turned out bad for some reason...sorry)
This one is a popular design...a Dragon's Claw holding and egg.
I also got a new tamper. This one is actually a replica of one from 18th century England.
I'm just so proud of them. They smoke really nice too!
Things are going well here with me so far. Went to see Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian with Brandy last night (she's the one I've been mentioning here lately...refer to previous entries)
I really don't know what to think about her. I mean, I do like her, quite alot in fact. But I'm still wondering what she thinks of me. After she broke up with her last boyfriend, one of the first things she told me was that she was'nt ready for another relationship. And so far, she has'nt said anything different...but, I think she's giving me signals. i just don't know. I've never been any good at this sort of thing.
She calls or texts me at least every other night, if not every night!
She gives me a great big hug everytime I see her, that lasts just a little longer than a friendly one does.
She's always smiling whenever I'm around her.
I just don't know how to read any of it. Does she really just want to be a friend, or is there a chance for more there? Damnit I wish I knew! I'm so confused when it comes to her, I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my ass!
I'm thinking about just asking her straight out if there's a chance for more there.
I dunno.
Inventory is coming up a work again. God, how I dread it!
Oh well. That's all I've got for now.
Later my friends.
HEY!! I'M BA-ACK!!
And as promised...I have video!!
This is from The Arkansas Scottish Festival this past weekend (April 18th - 20th). Video of me in my kilt...just look for the Huge, Ugly Fucker walking with Clan MacLeod and waving stupidly at the camera!
I have stills from the festival, but they're too big and I still don't know how to downsize them (I'll try and figure it out later). But I do have more video, including a Celtic Wedding Ceremony. I'll d/l those in a later post....right now I'm just gonna kick back with some whiskey and a pipe.
C'Y'all round!
Later my friends.
And as promised...I have video!!
This is from The Arkansas Scottish Festival this past weekend (April 18th - 20th). Video of me in my kilt...just look for the Huge, Ugly Fucker walking with Clan MacLeod and waving stupidly at the camera!
I have stills from the festival, but they're too big and I still don't know how to downsize them (I'll try and figure it out later). But I do have more video, including a Celtic Wedding Ceremony. I'll d/l those in a later post....right now I'm just gonna kick back with some whiskey and a pipe.
C'Y'all round!
Later my friends.
I finally got a digital camera!!
It's an 8.0 megapixel HP Photosmart R847.
Mark my words now...I promise my next update will have new pics, if not some video!!
That's right! I can do video too. Now I just have to figure how to put it all on here. Hopefully, it's not too hard.
Later my friends.
It's an 8.0 megapixel HP Photosmart R847.
Mark my words now...I promise my next update will have new pics, if not some video!!
That's right! I can do video too. Now I just have to figure how to put it all on here. Hopefully, it's not too hard.
Later my friends.
Well, I'm definitely set on the idea.....as soon as I get my tax return, I'm getting a digital camera.
Guess it would help if I did my taxes then, huh? (oops)
Off to to them now, I guess.
Also, I'm seriously thinking of getting both my ears pierced...perhaps even two in each ear.
If anyone is even remotely interested, take a look at me in my pics, and tell me what you think. (I know the pics are old, but I still look the same)
Later my friends.
Guess it would help if I did my taxes then, huh?
(oops)Off to to them now, I guess.
Also, I'm seriously thinking of getting both my ears pierced...perhaps even two in each ear.
If anyone is even remotely interested, take a look at me in my pics, and tell me what you think. (I know the pics are old, but I still look the same)
Later my friends.
