it's weird when rumors that have been haunting me for the past couple years have finally become reality...and I'm not even the least bit worried about it, even though I should be.

I've changed since I moved here, and I've only been here a week. Fuckin' Hollywood does something to you. I feel like this isn't my life so I don't have to worry about consequences or worry about what could happen...but this IS my life now. I can see why people move out here and loose all of their morals and common sense. This place is weird, it's like an avalanche...once you start to slip everything just comes tumbling down around you. Don't get me wrong, this could be in a good way too, because once you get your foot in the door around here things just come pouring your way.

I cried a little bit tonight when I saw the skyline of downtown Hollywood out the car window, and not from that mansion window high atop the hills. Who was I kidding...I can't have that lifestyle and I was foolish to think even for a second that I could. I guess I should feel lucky to have even experienced it at all. But hey, that's what best friends are for right? To make you want to do good for yourself, and to make you feel special, if only for a few hours.


Hollywood's robbed me of my east coast sensibility.