You've all probably noticed my lack of activity on here. So I'll give you the low-down.

It's been a fun few years. I've enjoyed my time with the ladies and gents I've met on here, had a few laughs and whatnot. But as time goes on, I've grown tired of the things that have made SG not fun anymore, and in fact, has made it an absolute drag and bummer.

It's tough to enjoy your time in a community where the moment you make a mistake, whether it be accidentally starting a new thread topic that's been discussed before in an old one, to somehow offending someone when your intentions were good, to even just a typo, you get jumped on, harassed, and lectured at every turn. It's like member sarahg said in a thread once (about a different topic), "sigh. it's a wonder anyone shares anything anymore. everyone else knows it all. everyone else can do better. or so they think, anyway."

"Or so they think" is right.

As far as my Hopeful situation? I'm delighted you asked.

I'm tired of submitting sets and asking for critique, and everyone has something negative to say instead of something constructive EVERY TIME. Fuck you, you pontificators masquerading as experts. We're all experts on what an SG set "should" look like. They have the photoset concept down to science - in that EVERY SET LOOKS THE SAME. How can you NOT know what one should look like? Are you kidding me? Not to mention that FAQ gives girls guidelines - no bedroom, kitchen, outdoors, or bathroom sets - and yet these types of sets are accepted every month, pretty much every day. A few SG's and "old skool" members are quick to say, "Well, they're not unless they're flawless and amazing." Shit, they should put the invisible yet implied "UNLESS IT IS EXTRAORDINARY" clause in the FAQ, then. It's slightly misleading. And, haha, WOW, there sure are LOTS of "incredible" interpretations of those kinds of themes. Furthermore, I see nothing wrong with these locations being repeated in sets, because they are the ideal locations for pin-up images; I'm hoping that at least a few of you have seen Alberto Vargas's work, for example. One-color backgrounds, kitchens, etc. are his bread and butter.

"Oh, but Kav! SG is supposed to be the MODERN pin-up," you might say.

I know that. Duh. That's why I gravitated to here in the first place. If tattoos, piercings, unnatural hair colors, and/or an obviously displayed alternative lifestyle don't make me the "modern" pin-up girl, the very concept SG was founded on in the first place, then damn, I have gone about this shit all wrong anyway.

"Oh but Kav! SG has grown popular over the years, and have had to step everything up, and that's why the new, polished standards are in place!"

Fuck that. Fuck that straight to hell. That contradicts everything SG says it is.

Point is, over the past few months, it has occurred to me that everything that SG claims to be, whether written or implied - an indie, underground portal to hot, sexy alternative women with open, like-minded members that make up a friendly community, a secret society almost - is a sham, a facade, and in reality is something that, morally, I don't agree with.

"Christ, Kav, chill out. It's just a porn site."

Yep. Sure is. It sure is "just a porn site".

So, if SG wants to get all angry and shit at me for saying these things - hey, isn't this blog everything they want from their models? Upstanding, outspoken thoughts from an alternative chick? Don't be angry because I am epitomizing the ideal Suicide Girl. Don't be angry because instead of glorifying SG, I am disagreeing with it. Because I am just one voice in an ocean of tits, ass and money. All of us will wake up tomorrow and they will still have their girls, their fame, their fortune, their members. I just won't be a part of it.

If you're interested in where I'm going, especially my lady friends, here is my MySpace.



All right, SG - zot the fuck out of me!

Peace out, bitches!

2-24-10 Edit to add:

In addition to MySpace, here is my Model Mayhem page as well, which has been requested for me to post here.

And I'm sorry, I can't help it, I have to say this: I'm sure you all saw the comment Rigel left below - thanks for pointing it out, lady! More loopholes for the "favorite" SGs to enjoy, I'm sure! I noticed lack of comment on anything else, though. Feel free to hit me up on either MM or MySpace to chit-chat about it, if you like.

I am grumpy.

I was going through my photobucket and found this from 2 years ago:



Draw your own conclusions.

Anyhoo, me lately? The usual. I am just working, chilling around my apartment, raising my parrot and watching stand-up comedy. John Oliver's New York Stand Up Show is really excellent. I was excited when I kept seeing the adverts for it, and much to my giggling and laughing joy, it delivered. It blows Live at Gotham completely out of the water. Not only because the acts are longer, but the people he brings on are also much funnier. Maria Bamford, for example, OMG HILARIOUS. Eugene Mirman, also fantastic. If you've never seen any of John Oliver's work outside of The Daily Show (which is still awesome), including his hour-long special "Terrifying Times", then you are lame and need to see it.

When I move to Minneapolis, I'm going to spend the majority of my time at comedy clubs, drinking Irish beer and laughing my ass off. It's going to be ultra mega awesome.

At the moment? It seems that it's 2:33AM and I have to be at work in 3 1/2 hours. I went ahead and got way too drunk Saturday night, and the boy and I didn't get home until 2:30AM. When I woke up at 8:00AM, I realized in a sad, sad way that maybe a pitcher of PBR + three bottles of Killian's + a Jolly Rancher shot (which was described to me as tequila, watermelon flavored liquor and something else equally as unfortunate) was a bad idea. After passing back out, I didn't wake up until later that afternoon, which is why I'm in this predicament. Cheap drunks are not hangover-savvy.

...Yup.



Oats got hos lined up for miles, son.

He is way too cute as usual, but he's also a little on the spunky side it turns out. He refuses to be touched if he's on top of his cage, so we have to wait for him to get bored and leap off of it to play with or train him. Otherwise, he's all nippy and bitchy. But when we've got him perched on our fingers and shoulders, he's playful and adorable as can be. After doing the math, at six months he'll be 2 years old in parrot years, so he's probably got that "terrible twos" thing going on.
His latest adventure was trying to bathe him. If he could communicate with us using articulate English, I'm sure he'd say something like, "Are you fucking kidding me, Mom and Pops?" I cleared off and cleaned the bathroom sink, covered the mirror and picked him up, gently talking to him, and placed him in the sink. And I was expecting for him to hate it, which he did, but instead of getting squawky and mad, he was just depressed-looking. Poor baby. I'm just going to get a misting bottle and try spray-bathing him, seeing if he's cool with that.
Lately he's been playing with this small plastic duck I got out of a 25-cent machine, carrying it around like I would imagine a child would carry around a stuffed animal. I melted like any bird-mom would and tried to snap a picture, but Oats also fucking hates having his picture taken. Once he saw me going "Awwwww, my good little boooyyyy" and going up to him with the camera, he'd drop his duck immediately and skitter to the other end of his perch. The little dickens.

To conclude, I'm boring. If you read that long-winded shit, you must love me something fierce. Haha.

xoxo

KAV

Thank you, GoNzOoLiVeR!

Phase one of chest tattoo, complete.



Not sure if I'm gonna go ahead with getting the actual quasar, to be honest. Lack of funds and whatnot. But it is fucking gorgeous as is, anyway.

As for me, I'm tired and grumpy a lot. I hate my job.

Oh, and back by popular demand, I present more LolOats.



Well, I laughed.

Yo, this is DJ Kavvy and Pimp Master Oats.

We gangstas.

Beeeeeeeerrrrrr!

Happy New Year.

KAV

P.S. New set comes out March 3rd.

Everyone meet my new baby, Oats.



Oats is just a little guy, only 4 months old. He's still adjusting to life in our quiet little apartment. Our parakeet, Snowball, has been tweeting to him and keeping him company in her adjacent cage. He's not really used to Chris and I, but I think in a few weeks' time he'll be happier and easier to train. At the moment we're starting off easy with "step up", where we just nudge our finger under his breast bone until he perches on our finger, and we praise him, and awwwww he's so cuuuuute. Hahaha. I love him to pieces.

New Year's Eve shall be spent at my and my boyfriend's tattoo artist's place getting crazy drunk.

Speaking of, the work on my chest piece begins next Tuesday. It's gonna BLOW YA MINDS.

Love, lovelovelove,

KAV

god. it's so beautiful.

the shapes and structures our catastrophes cause - the great letdowns, the commotion we slow down to watch. have you ever seen such an explosion of words and fists? such a wreck, a train wreck of glamor and hatred. mental disease (get it? get it? dis-ease) spread across your families by distrust and propaganda. bad news is far better than good news. what else would we talk about? what else would we watch? ARE YOU SLEEPING?? our whole lives are a reality TV show, you can turn off your set - just peek over your neighbor's fence and watch him drink himself to death. peer through the crack of your child's door and gaze upon him falling for his very first heartbreak, her very first sign of an eating disorder.

it's amazing. it's fucking amazing.

we are so perfect in our imperfections. one person's fault is a chance for another to shine. and the next person glows brighter, and the next is blinding, and the next is searingly luminescent until we can't see beyond them, and our blood curdles into envy and jealousy until ON THE INSIDE we're hunched and broken and ugly, ugly as your Catholic mother's idea of the worst mortal sin.

humans - a virus. a cascading railway of uncountable emotion, eating away at us until we're nothing but what we hate in others. incredible.

In the past short while, 3 of my favorite SGs have been archived. This makes me sad, as they are not only an inspiration, a few of the reasons why I want to be here, but they are also gorgeous, strong and intelligent.

So, cheers to Dwam,



Cheers to Adalae;



And cheers to Bathory.



Merry Giftmas.

Oh and P.S., have y'all seen Shika's fantastic boobies? I've been her friend for forever and I had no idea they were that awesome.



FERREAL.