Can't run from the pain... Go towards it.
"When you finish, you can play in the park"
I would push myself and finish first... So I could sit and enjoy the park while all the other kids ran
They used to be so simple. I would run past everyone and chase what I wanted. Now i hesitate, dissect and criticize. Self destruct and ruin what i built. Get close then remove myself emotionally. detach and watch things fall apart. Distrust. doubt. fear. Feeling lost in love...
- Ruined so many opportunities w so many gorgeous girls. Since when did things become about me? when did they become so cut throat? Since when did my thoughts and actions become two different things? Since when did things become about who cared less?? Since when did it all become about power??... I don't even know where to go from here.
The last 6 months have been the hardest in my life... and they aren't getting easier im just getting stronger...more defensive. survival mode.
"Its not a question of color any more, it's above that. I mean it's getting more and more difficult for man to just love. And fewer men are making a real effort to find exactly who they are and to build on that knowledge. Most people are forced to do things they don't want to all the time, and they get to the point where they feel they no longer have any choice. We create our own slavery, but I'm going to get through and find out the kind of man i am- or die." -Charles Mingus
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No Peace... No Glory... Just hard work. Full Grind mode. I'd say keep up but that's not gonna happen so i'll just say watch me.
Its like this... Since I left I've been through the hardest things in my life. Days and days with out sleep, physical suffering- hospital visits. My body has forced me to be a vision of discipline and focus...
Forced out of my place w no money- Had to move back to the hood. 19th st south side. No money barley a place to live. -Gypsy status. I've learned to make it work. Standing on my own two - Back against the wall.
Living Room Wall @ 19th & Wood
Have been working at Archer Ave Tattoo as an apprentice. The same shop where the lovely BelleBane gets her work done. It hasn't been easy. Opening the shop every day- bustin my ass- drawing like crazy- and learning to tattoo!
Here's what I got So far...
Archer Ave. Tattoo shop printer after we decided it fucked up 1 too many times...
New Drawings...
Paid Graf Gig! Art is paying the RENT! whaaatup!
Archer Ave. Tattoo at the Chicago Tattoo Convention
MUSIC!
Recorded a full length album of nothing slick just straight chicago punk rock with "Red Channel!" Knocked it out in 4 days! stayed up all night playing drums and drinking beer. check out some of the tunes @ http://www.myspace.com/redchannelrocks (Ill find a better link soon...)
New tattoos...
From My Pri in South Texas @ Metal Heart Tattoo
From Diana! @ Archer Ave tattoo!
Cheers...
I know its a lot and you are small. I aint worried. Im tryin' to burn bright, live w/ some passion. Grab what inspires me. and leave everything else in the dust. So peace the lames hope u die twice tomorrow
(GIT BACK) Also, im at a crossroads in my life... Got an amazing job offer in arizona. I have to take it right? Do i trade chicago for some sunshine and money? Im really torn and scared to make this change. I love my city...
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It's dangerous out there... but what else can I do. Nothing is familiar and no one cares.
I might be in too deep... but fuck it I don't care.
