I sit here; alone, mildly unsettled, but still utterly alone. I know not to take what others say to heart; but my depression really broke me earlier, to a distant point that I hav'nt been to in a while.

I'm gonna tell all who is interested in reading; a lil' bit more about myself.

When I was younger; I was'nt the most "popular" kid, not that many friends & such. I was'nt a nerd;but I was a decent "Brain", very active imagination. - That's why; to this day, I love Legos & poetry. My schooling was normal; that is until fifth grade, the work became too easy for me. I would go around the class; after I was done, and show the other students how to get to the answers. I was labeled a "Bad Apple"; a disruption, a class clown. I was told that a "Special Education"class would best suit my needs to excel.
After a small blighted court issue with the Board of Education; I was able to attend "Special Education", apparently @ 11-12 yrs old an IQ of 128 is a lil' high for "S.. E..".
After 5+6 grade "S.. E.."; I was enrolled in 7+8 honors class. A big step up!! The children there ALWAYS mocked me; made fun of my clothes, my style of everything !! So you see; I got used to people mocking me, to the point of numbness !! I was so used to it; I even made fun of myself, before anyone else could. I still have low self-esteem.
High skool was a lil' diff. !! I was in with all whom would tolerate me. lol. I met the Mother of my first daughter there ! Ofcourse; now, to add insult to injury, I am never able to see my first daughter, she's 9 now.
I dunno why I'm even writing this; maybe cleansing my spirit, maybe reaching out. I dunno why I'am crying right now; too many emotions surfaces, too many memories coming back all @ once. I feel comfortable here !! Everyone of you here; that i've corresponded w/, you're amazing !! I love you all !!
The SG site in itself; is a safe haven, for all those whom are a lil' diff. !! Growing up; I never knew that many gals w/ tattoos or "Taboo" piercings, now, I kan't get enough !! My Wife herself has over thirty diff. style tattoos; I on the other hand, only two.
If you've sat there and read all this; thank you, you are Blessed !! If you ever want to read some of my poetry; I have blogged a few here: Richards Poetry
They really sum up the way my depression eats @ me !!
Thank you all !! I Love ya !!

- Richard