IPOD
RADIO
I'm confused...
If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents...you're "exotic, different."
BUT if you Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers...you're the "quintessential American story."
If your name is Barack...you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
BUT if you Name your kids Willow, Trig, Track...you're a maverick.
If you Graduate from Harvard Law School and were President of the Law Review...you're unstable.
BUT if you Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating...you're well grounded.
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees...you don't have any real leadership experience.
BUT if your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on city council and 6 years as mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as governor of a state with only 650,000 people...then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years, raised 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches...you're not a real Christian.
BUT If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month...you're a Christian.
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control...you're eroding the fiber of society.
BUT If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant...you're very responsible.
If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family...your family's values don't represent America's.
BUT If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DUI conviction, no college education, didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA...your family is extremely admirable.
OK, much clearer now.
If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents...you're "exotic, different."
BUT if you Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers...you're the "quintessential American story."
If your name is Barack...you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
BUT if you Name your kids Willow, Trig, Track...you're a maverick.
If you Graduate from Harvard Law School and were President of the Law Review...you're unstable.
BUT if you Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating...you're well grounded.
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees...you don't have any real leadership experience.
BUT if your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on city council and 6 years as mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as governor of a state with only 650,000 people...then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years, raised 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches...you're not a real Christian.
BUT If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month...you're a Christian.
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control...you're eroding the fiber of society.
BUT If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant...you're very responsible.
If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family...your family's values don't represent America's.
BUT If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DUI conviction, no college education, didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA...your family is extremely admirable.
OK, much clearer now.
And so she was now in hiding ...
From a beardless Uncle of questionable intent ...
And his ill wife and her patriotic wares ...
From a beardless Uncle of questionable intent ...
And his ill wife and her patriotic wares ...
Goodbye Jack D:
You have made all the wrong decisions.
You have made me no money.
You have ruined my body, and attempted to destroy my mind.
You tried to mess up my relationship with my babychan.
You even put me in handcuffs - twice.
Years ago, you helped wreck my marriage and my credit rating.
You pulled me away from the world and from God.
You gleefully led me into rooms I could not die in.
You even stole memories.
I lived for 18 years without you, and I had fun.
I forgot that fact for a long time.
I remember it now.
You are fucking fired.
JohnnyT
70 days sober
You have made all the wrong decisions.
You have made me no money.
You have ruined my body, and attempted to destroy my mind.
You tried to mess up my relationship with my babychan.
You even put me in handcuffs - twice.
Years ago, you helped wreck my marriage and my credit rating.
You pulled me away from the world and from God.
You gleefully led me into rooms I could not die in.
You even stole memories.
I lived for 18 years without you, and I had fun.
I forgot that fact for a long time.
I remember it now.
You are fucking fired.
JohnnyT
70 days sober
oh pitiful shadow cloaked in darkenss.
thy actions cause men pain and suffering.
thy hollow soul drowns in thy sins.
Care to give death a try?
BUT FIRST ...
care to give some of these Mystery Items a try?
Our local Genuardi's is having trouble placing these strange, protolithic goods.
oh pitiful trash bags lost in the grocery store darkness.
thy actions cause refuse confusion and crowding.
thy hollow plastic drowns in thy sins.
Care to give the Mystery Items shelf a try?
Five Q Friday - from the boy with too much time on his hands
1. In 10 years, do you think you will be driving a Hydrogen-fueled hovercar, a gas powered SUV, or a bicycle?
2. Do men lie more than women - or are they just bad at it?
3. You wake from a coma to find yourself at an earlier point in your life, having retained all your "memories" from that time until now as if they had occurred in a long, lucid dream. If this was possible, would you want it to happen - and what age would you want to wake up at?
4. Bacon - delicious, disgusting, or both?
5. Wait - Would you rather live in the ascendency of a civilization or its decline?
Bonus question: Poindexter, do you want to fuck, or not?
1. In 10 years, do you think you will be driving a Hydrogen-fueled hovercar, a gas powered SUV, or a bicycle?
2. Do men lie more than women - or are they just bad at it?
3. You wake from a coma to find yourself at an earlier point in your life, having retained all your "memories" from that time until now as if they had occurred in a long, lucid dream. If this was possible, would you want it to happen - and what age would you want to wake up at?
4. Bacon - delicious, disgusting, or both?
5. Wait - Would you rather live in the ascendency of a civilization or its decline?
Bonus question: Poindexter, do you want to fuck, or not?
Gary Gygax, 'Father of D&D,' Dies at 69
Gary Gygax, one of the co-creators of the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game, died Tuesday morning at his home in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, according to Stephen Chenault, CEO of Troll Lord Games.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Can't a high level Cleric resurrect him? I know he would make his saving throw versus System Shock.
This is the one I remember, so yeah, I'm a geezer.
I guess 'ol Gary will be setting up his DM screens and asking for party marching orders in the sky now. R.I.P.
Gary Gygax, one of the co-creators of the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game, died Tuesday morning at his home in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, according to Stephen Chenault, CEO of Troll Lord Games.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Can't a high level Cleric resurrect him? I know he would make his saving throw versus System Shock.
This is the one I remember, so yeah, I'm a geezer.
I guess 'ol Gary will be setting up his DM screens and asking for party marching orders in the sky now. R.I.P.
Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one.
World War Z - They're making it into a movie - I hope they do it justice. This books is my not-so-secret pleasure.
"A film adaptation is in development after the rights were obtained by Brad Pitt's Plan B Entertainment, with the screenplay being written by Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski"
On the WWZ web site, my calculated chance of surviving the plague years is 32%.
I have extra water, and I am pretty good with my 9mm and 45 GAP.
I need to brush up on agriculture and get a self-charging radio.
Moving to Quebec or Nova Scotia is out for now.
"A film adaptation is in development after the rights were obtained by Brad Pitt's Plan B Entertainment, with the screenplay being written by Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski"
On the WWZ web site, my calculated chance of surviving the plague years is 32%.
I have extra water, and I am pretty good with my 9mm and 45 GAP.
I need to brush up on agriculture and get a self-charging radio.
Moving to Quebec or Nova Scotia is out for now.
OCTOBER 2008
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SEPTEMBER 2008
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JULY 2008