Alright. I've been busy workin on making big changes in my life over the past 4 years. It would seem I'm near the end of the beginning and at the beginning of a long moment in my life. I love the constant change, I think at this point in my life I can't avoid it anymore, as if I need it.

I've recently exhausted my GI Bill. Earned my A.S. in Film Production and my certificate as a Professional Welder and have relocated back to my birth city Big D. I'm excited to be here, but things started rough. My grandmother passed away within two weeks of returning home. And now I'm finding difficulty finding a job in order to get myself , my daughter and wife into our own place again. It's been close to a year since we've had our own place.

I know things will work out, they always do, I'm just eager to begin work and hungry for all that damn money.

Not much has changed or been updated in my life since my last post. I am excited its October! Best month of the year! My daughters first birthday is just around the corner next month and my wife and I are very excited, well I'm excited and she's mixed happy and sad.

Still waiting on my financial aid check to come in the mail. We have a lot of shit to take care of and we are very reliant on this check to come in.

Really looking to forward to celebrating my daughters very fist Halloween. There is an exhibition in Orlando that we will be attending, as well as going to Disney World for Halloween. Very exciting times indeed.

WHOA! It has been awhile since I've been on here. It's also been awhile since I've had access to a computer. Well, what has changed since the last time I was here? A LOT! I've completed my degree in Film. I have relocated from Orlando to Jacksonville. I am currently in Tulsa Welding School with a job prospect back in Dallas when I'm done. My daughter just turned 10 months old and it won't be long before she's 1 and living in Dallas with her Nana and Mother until I complete this new venture of education.

I'm so friggin excited about all the recent developments and future changes in my life. My extended education years are almost done and over with. Oh man, not much else is going on. Shacked up in an extended stay hotel for the time being. Stuck with slow ass internet and 20 channels of absolute garbage for entertainment. Bootleggin movies have gone from 10 a day to 1 a day with this lack of internet speed.

BUT, WHATEV. LOL. All is good, no real complaints. See ya soon

CAN NOT FRIGGIN WAIT TO BACK TO MY BIRTH PLACE! Good ole Dallas, TX!

It could be the liquor in me, but I think I've come to realize that most of the "photgraphers" here on SG all have, more or less, pretty much the same "eye". I like that. Because, as much as SG is for the "outsiders" in reality, there seem to be a general consensus about style here within SG, and being so, I now feel like an outsider compared to the people on SG. Because as mush as SG is for the outsider, everybody within has become a clone of each other. That's pretty sad, considering that SG is for those of us who are outsiders. I still love SG, and I will never stop. I don't hate anybody here, or on anybody who I know IS better than me at photography, but with the status quo here being outsider, it seems more and more that people here are the clones of each other

I've been at ends with myself lately. I'm stuck with this predicament where I'm dealing with more than I feel I should. I know I can handle it all, because it's the same shit that has continued to happen to me all my life. Instead of sitting around, pondering, smoking, drinking and wasting my time trying to figure it all out, I've been exercising my skills as a photographer. I realized that if I'm going to get better, then I need to put myself in front of the lens and express my emotions of all the bullshit I'm facing. That only frustrated me more.

Ok, I'm not typically one for Blogging. I used to have a journal to write down the events and things I've been through, so that I could keep track of day to day feelings. I think I now need to post Blog, take it to the next level I guess. So here goes...............

I am finally nearing the end of my 2 1/2 years of earning my A.S. in Film Production. Now that it's all but done and over with, I still feel like I did when I first started out, foolish. When it all started off I was going through the motions because I wasn't doing anything important with my life and I needed to do something, it didn't matter what. But when I started, I still had the mindset I had when I was in High School about going for this degree. I wanted to study film for as long as I could remember, but I never thought it would feel this foolish. I am so afraid this won't pay off the way it should, especially considering that I now have a family to fend for. I love the work so much, but it's such a difficult career to venture into, even with experience. I know what's important and what I need to do to succeed, but somehow I feel like I would be failing if I didn't continue into what I started off doing. I feel like there are people on all sides of my families that are waiting for me to fuck up and point their finger at me as if to make themselves feel better in saying they we're right, they knew I would slip up.

Would it really be so wrong if I didn't continue on this path I set out on? Would I be upset if I redirected the course in order to provide for my family? As if to say when I'm 70 looking back on it all. I've always wanted to be unique, to stand out from everyone I knew, and now that I have I feel like I'm not.

I'm trying to go somewhere with this but I don't know where. This is another reason I'm confused about what to do, because I have a goal but no direction. I know things will be fine, and that together, as a family, we will do what we need to, to survive.

I think with all the shit we've been through, I know that whatever the outcome is, it will be because we took a weakness and made it our strength. I would like the strength to be something interesting though, like working together on a set, or in a studio. Owning, operating and living a family business together. I want so much to be an independent family. Maybe that's why I've always wanted a family. Maybe's that why I started when I did.

I think it just hit me.

Ok, so I finally got a job, and school is right around the corner. I am still a little paranoid as to how I am going to take care of rent, at the very least. I got an advance on my paycheck from work for a 50 hours paycheck. So I have already half the rent right off the bat. We finally got our passports filled our and paid for, and I still have this ridiculous fucking ticket to pay for. After that, all unnecessary expenditures are taken care of.

Mikaela is gone for the week until I drive up to VA Beach on Friday. Hopefully while she is away, her week will be fine and she can just be happy while worry free from stress. So that leaves me here alone until I head north for the weekend. Lucky for me a friend came through and hook me up with a couple 'o dimes. I haven't smoke in a while, so this should be fun.

FINALLY GOT A JOB!!! I am now a VA Rep for my school. I have been waiting for this job for months now. I have been exhaustedly searching for a job for a long time now. I cant wait to start.

I'm so fuckin stoked. I busted my ass during this summer semester. I did not have a problem with my English course, but the math, boy. I was barely passing in the class, which scared the shit out of me come time for the state final. But I pulled it off, and to reward myself, I'm gettin summo ink dun. I have a shit ton of ideas I want to get done, but I don't know where I want to start. I figure I will grab the double thumbed peyote fist on my right bicep. I know I want to get a Bob-Omb on my right palm, that would be shit hot. The only problem I'm facing now is the waiting game, and the ever elusive job hunt.

Life has turned a new leaf for my wife and I. We are upgrading our half rate shitty apartment, to an upscale 3rd floor with a balcony and a lake view. Our roommate may very well be leaving us and this means we can roam the house nude again. Never thought I'd actually miss that. This move is a necessary morale lifter. Scored a sweet deal on SG for 1 yr. So we will be her for awhile. I think we may even be looking forward to more sexual adventures this year. Looking to make a lot of friends.