i think i'm only gonna be around a couple more days, so write this down... http://www.mp3.com/sweet_dissonance
http://www.garageband.com/artist/sweet_dissonance
http://www.sweetdissonance.iuma.com
this last won't go until the weekend most likely, and mp3.com won't be for a bit, but until then there is also http://artists.iuma.com/iuma/bands/sweet_dissonance

go to that link in about a week or so, i posted some mp3s. then email me at doniac_schvice@perfectnothing.com and let me know what you think. if i'm still around, i'll do everything i can to force feed this stuff on everyone.

it's kinda like tangerine dream or nine inch nails on coil...that's what i tell everybody, but it's me on an acoustic guitar thru this editing program that i got for free...thanks to effects it sounds good...kind of electronic ambient stuff on acoustic...please let me know, thanks!

i have a renewed passion for the dark and the dead. all of a sudden peter steele is my next trent reznor and faustina bordoni is my new queen. unfortunately, it's cold. fortunately....ummm...my chia pet is growing...

godDAMN credit card companies and banks do NOT get along and are pains in the asses of those who live. they've got existing balance, available balance, fee for this shit, fee for that, i'm sick of it. somebody shoot me. or shoot them for me.


if i can't be my own, i'd feel better dead
--layne staley, nutshell...aic.

right right. i'm back at el colegio and about to turn a new leaf by not spending money and going to class. fuck german spanish is cooler...because...because...because...there are more cognates i don't give a damn it's easier for me.

whipppittty wheee...i feel like i'm in hell kinda because i was just on vacation and brought my girlfriend and she was going to start her period and i have been getting progressively hornier because she doesn't like sex during those few days and she said maybe and then i just pissed her off when i wanted and i got pissed just about every night and i guess she just doesn't understand and feel that. she hasn't been in the mood lately is what she says but i think it's just an illusion and i'm really in hell. just tonight she led me on and on and told me all this she wanted to do to me and that she didn't want to because she's still bleeeding and whispered in my ear and sexy and hot and love and lust and oh oh oh no my six year old sister comes up to say goodnight and all of a sudden it's over the mood is gone for her but not bastard horny asshole me and she says it should be done tomorrow and maybe i'll be sated then but i really don't know. it's more like i'm stuck in a groundhog's day than just a simple menstruation. god. what an asshole he must be to torture the males like this. i thus conclude that if there is a god which of course there is no proof for he is evile as he allows such torture upon his creations. what a wookie. fucker. i say the biggest blasphemer is christ himself for saying his dad is kind and generous fuck that i'm tired and it's 2am and kinda i want to i think i'll listen to that zao song that reminds me of her that angel without wings that jesy and i'll feel more love and better. goodnight.

alright i can probably get lynched in a matter of seconds for saying this shit but i hated two towers. i never saw the first one, i've started the books but they never captivated me too much and i got bored with them, although i was extremely captivated by the first three books of stephen r. donaldson's white gold ring wielder which i believe came out after tolkein but not so much of an entire empire and imaginary shit created. i just didn't see the point of excessive effects to create a world that will never be and exists only in mind and on screen. that and the battles the war, the hate, the battles, i realize that it is good v. evil and good eventually wins after an epic of struggle yadda yadda yadda but why the fuck does this wizard who is more like a man than anything else want to rid the world of humans and have these smelly disgusting orcs rule. don't tell me he finds that shit attractive. world domination i can understand, but ridding the world of humans, which he is most akin to, that's just idiotic. oh yeah, and living trees don't burn. and why do they all speak english except the elves? am i the only one who didn't like this? i think brynji is sneaking up behind me with a knife...yep. i'd rather watch julien donkey-boy any day that doesn't really have a plot or a storyline or anything but just exists as a tribute to harmony korrine's uncle who is schizophrenic and shows how life is in a family where everyone has some sort of disease or disorder. the kind where people stray away and ignore when they see them on the street. the kind that people selectively erase.

i've just hit a kind of a wall of depression again and the only thing i can really do is turn around and pretend to laugh while it slowly crumbles. i've tried other things. they don't work. well, sex does, but i don't think that's going to happen. also, my great grandmother just died today, which i'm really not too sad about. she was 95, just had her third stroke, and wasn't all that coherent. my dad just wishes that he could have seen her first or been there. he visited about a week ago, but i haven't seen her in a few months. and then my mom is coming to me about raising my brother because he's doing this whole control thing and she recognizes it now because she just went through 6 months of therapy thanks to my stepdad and i can't believe he's still my stepdad. fuck. i love sadness, i really do, don't get me wrong. it creates wonderful things, tears wonderful things down, and most importantly, cleanses my system. without it, i'd be too full of wastes from being happy too often. once in a while i need those tears to flush all the happy crap out. literally-crap.