The Decemberists.
forgotten lips.
(tomorrow kissed?)
tonight its me and
the indie kids
drinking slick
tupper ware filled
with alcoloholic swill
missed calls
and engine stalls
the crashing swing
ruined everything
though the damage
was cosmetic
and your attacks are pathetic
you're the alcolholic,
i'm just starting to have fun.

Drank till 4 am, passed out, woke up at 9 drank till 230 passed out drove home and wrote a song... sort of. this day was somewhat eventful but i have to say... the events are running together, i need a recreational period, next to a warm body not belonging to someone else in the room... atleast i'm over you, and the best part is that you always forget that girls may be "cooler" and being gay may look better on a novel jacket but you never could hack it all the fighting may help with your writing but i know that it was always my dick that got you hard and that doesn't leave you in my best regards since thats my least favorite part, and to think i loved you for your eyes...

5 little known facts

1. insomniacs hate birds.
2. I got into a fight the other night. Drunk guy at a party, couldn't be avoided, booted him out/into the back door...
3. Later that night i got into a second fight with my best friend's band mate. Everyone took my side, made me feel special because he is actually in the band.
4. I'm really happy.
5. But I have to say i don't really dig the fact that no one seems too in to what i'm doin these days... here or on myspace I put alot of work into a poem, or a picture, or a drawing and no one seems to care. Thats why i got into BLOGing in the first place... to show my work, but does anyone really look anymore?

the day of my last post, thehappiest one i have posted in forever.... took a turn for the worst... ha, literally.

a. car wreck?
b. girl that just broke up with me is now gay and going to the city she wouldn't visit me in to go to a pride rally with the girl she is "just friends [with] gosh."
c. TN became tornado alley tonight on the night of alkaline trio and against me. I will be standing in the rain in about an hour.
d. all of the above.


ah fuck it. I'm fine. who wants to look at drawings?
arlo and i...

Persya. Its a good drawing done with a shitty pen on terrible paper... sigh... i hate it when that happens.

Nicci KC

nicci kc 2
ron from waffle house. a customer of mine last night who begged me to draw him and paid me for my trouble. nice fella. looka lika blacka buddha.

Dani of the dead. The prettiest girl evar.

HELLO WORLD!
I'm dancing around makin' shells and cheese. Its my favorite. I'm about to have a glass of that lovely coppola wine my mom opened last night and I'm basically just hopping around my parents unbelievably nice new kitchen to the Arcade Fire. My clothes are all washed. My paycheck is on its way from SF. I have work for cash on thursday, Against me! and Alkaline Trio are Friday, and I have work saturday. All is well in my world. I haven't even thought about her for days...

oh and i've done three of the coolest portraits this week, I hate the paper i did them on but i'm proud of the work... more on that later...

ps. i miss my stuff... its all still in sf.

Bombs Away

As a child I was shaken
by the sound of aeroplanes
I jumped over ditches like
They were mass graves
obsessed with glory
I wanted to make some waves

Tree house for a foxhole
Broken sticks for rifles
I took notes as they flew by
I became a disciple
Aim for the wing
Aim for the tank
God save the queen
God damn my rank

I prayed that some day
Someone up there would say
Bombs away
Bombs away
And I prayed
I prayed…
For that day
Bombs away

I trained and studied
when it came I was ready
I cut off my hair
With a dull machete.
When I said bye to my mom
The air felt so heavy

War sweet war
,there was peace no more
Just remember the notes
And the oath you swore
Aim for the wing
Aim for the tank
God save the Queen
God damn your rank

When Some day came
I could almost hear them say
Bombs away
Bombs away
And I prayed
I prayed…

My right wing’s shot to hell
both my hands are burned
tried my best to bail
But the latch wouldn’t turn
So I said
Dear god not now
please not like this
I was born to be hero
Not a fucking statistic
And the ground’s getting close
my time is near
This time I won’t wake
This time its blood not tears.

So I flew to you,
In soot and flames
And I can still hear
Your soft lips say
Bombs away
Bombs away
Bombs away
Bombs away
So I flew to you,
In soot and flames
And I can still hear
Your soft lips say
Bombs away
Bombs away
Bombs away
Bombs away

god you looked good this morning...

i wonder what you're thinking...

i couldn't talk, couldn't be weak or i would fall back in. You needed me and I was there like I always have been, but I couldn't so much as look at you. Why did you look at me so much? Where you just wondering why i was so tired? did you have doubts?

please get out of my head or back into my life. one or the other. I helped you get to class today because you need to get through school, but I still don't think you can count me as a friend.... i'm too angry. too let down. you lied to me kid, and about love, the worst thing in the world to lie about.

but god you looked good this morning.

work in progresss

I want to give you childs eyes so you can see what i see
just like i'd donate my lungs if i thought you could breathe
i would give you my hands i would chop off my feet
I've sacrifice my whole life, do anything

but i doubt you'd accept a single shared breath
or a moment's peace or a second to rest
cuz you're too busy fighting the demons in your head
you're too busy lying to hear what i've said

protect your best interests at all cost
cover your ass real fast or you might get caught
sneaking with that dude you know from work
holdin his hand and sayin that i'm a jerk.

you say i'm the same cuz i was once in the game
but that was before my whole life changed
before i packed up the lac and moved away
just to find that i always had a reason to stay.

her name is your name and her eyes are your eyes
her words are the same and so are the lies
I just wish you two could figure out who
you want to talk to and stop changing the rules.

and if you hear this song, i know you'll get it wrong
you'll think i've hated you all along
but i just wish i could pry inside that beautiful mind
and feel all the love i see behind your eyes

I wrote your name on a waffle house napkin,
with the pen I stole from your apartment.
I didn’t know what else to do
So I just started writin’
I wrote it over and over again
And I wasn’t really sure what it meant
Until something happened that shook me deep
one thing I knew was our old red booth
Was now meant for one and not us two…
And I figured that might be why
I never seem to sleep.

And I know
We’ll never talk again
And I know
We’re not even friends
But I just can’t seem to bel-----ieve
And I know
I shouldn’t have called you that
And I know
That “bitch” broke the camels back
But I just can’t seem to beli------eve
You’ll never share another booth with me

The waitresses asked whatever happened to
That cute little girl that used to hang on you
With the short black hair
and the mean Disposition?
And I just stared down at the ceramic cup
Pondered the answer and then gave up
And watched my coffee turn
From black to brown.
I said we got into a fight
Like did every other night
Except this time there weren’t no rain check
For make up sex.

And I know
We’ll never talk again
And I know
We’re not even friends
But I just can’t seem to bel-----ieve
And I know
I shouldn’t have called you that
And I know
That “bitch” broke the camels back
But I just can’t seem to beli------eve
You’ll never share another booth with me

And I remember how we always layed in bed
And how cute you sounded when you said
Baby won’t you please buy me a big cheese omelet?
And I remember how I could never eat
With your big doe eyes starin up at me
Just the sight of you
always made me more than full
and everyone would stare at my mohawked hair
and your vegan buttons stuck everywhere
and I’d sell my soul to have that feeling now…

And I know
We’ll never talk again
And I know
We’re not even friends
But I just
can’t
seem to bel-----ieve
And I know
I shouldn’t have called you that
And I know
That “bitch” broke the camels back
But I just
can’t
seem to beli------eve
You’ll never share another booth with me

uhhh... after three flights (and two mechanical failure inspired cancelations) over a period of thirty hours i made it home... and immediately got so drunk i played beer with baseball (with beer AS the baseball), fought pretty much everyone, destroyed an entire fence, threw up secretly, danced for maybe four hours, and basically broke my already exhausted body.

Fuck.

It was amazing.

Good to be home.

How many times have i broken things off with you? How many times have i said stay away, you're poison? And yet I always came back, so I just wanted to say thank you. You're wrong, i'm not the problem, but you're right that there is one. If you thinking you're in the right is what it takes for me to finaly walk away after two years of lies and ridiculous bullshit than I say ok.

Party Jesse is back.


I'll be on a plane to nashville at this time tomorrow.

Oh and sav, don't get carried away by the things i've written you when you start to feel lonely, when you miss our true "love". I'm a writer, I write about whats going on. Thats how it works, and when its over and only the words remain I'm still a writer and the evidence you seek will be filed under fiction, you petty child.

Drink, pack, sleep, drink, fly, drink, drink, drink....

Nashville I miss you.