Dear Female Reproductive System-

I've been thinking about us a lot lately, and I think we should break up. Don't try to convince me otherwise; I've already made up my mind. We had a good run, but you are CLEARLY TRYING TO DESTROY ME.

Fondly,
Jamie Lee

***********************************************************************************************************************************

Dear Jamie Lee-

Gimme chocolate.

Love,
Your stomach (on behalf of your brain)

***********************************************************************************************************************************

And on a not-so-menstrual note...

I love birthdays. And mine is soon. I can't wait!!! Any excuse to get together with friends and family and eat lots of food and drink lots of (good) beers is fine by me.

It has been hotter than a motherfucker this week. Every morning I make a special trip around the block to park on a particularly shady street so that my car isn't a freaking OVEN when I get off work. It helps, but does not completely prevent swamp-ass.

The Hulk comes out this week. I think I'll go see it. Speaking of which, have you seen those big foam hulk "smash-hands" they sell in Target and Walmart and, like, toy stores and shit??

They make smash and grunt noises when you punch with them. I updated my wishlist complete with these. I want some of them BAD, but I want them to say, "Reagan Smash!" Think we could mod it somehow?

I should probably also mention the ninja mosquito somewhere in my house who has been making himself fat off of my precious, precious leg blood while I'm sleeping. Get out of my house, you mosquito bastard.

I guess that's it. I'm going to continue avoiding the outdoors while I remain absolutely bored out of my skull at work.

XXOO

What a wonderful weekend I had!

I took the bus up to NYC to spend the weekend with my oldest friend, A. I've known her since 6th grade, and it was so great to see her and spend the weekend with her. I got up to NYC around 10:00 pm on Friday and immediately headed for Brooklyn. When I got to A's house, we dressed for the weather (it was rainy and cold. blegh), and headed out to a little bar around the corner. After a couple drinks we all realized how tired we were and headed back to the house to crash out.

Saturday morning we got up and headed out for brunch. We ate yummy food in an outdoor terrace at a cute little restaurant in Brooklyn. From there we headed straight to Times Square where we dropped by the NYC Tattoo convention. A wanted to get some work done, but the waits were far too long, so we decided that we would just go home and take a nap before our big Saturday night.

After about 3 hours of napping (which was glorious, by the way), we prepared for the big going away BBQ for A's boy. I don't think any amount of preparation could have readied us for the large amounts of alcohol that would be consumed that evening. I hit it off with A's friends and we drank and drank and fucking. drank. Until I passed out. How much did I drink? The entire bus ride back to Baltimore was spent concentrating on NOT VOMITING. It's Monday morning and I'm still hung over.

But GOD what a weekend.

How does one single-handedly and completely unintentionally get Listerine on her vagina? I don't want to talk about it, but I've somehow just accomplished that task.

I've been feeling sad today. Could someone cheer me up by making a b'dass loldog with this photo? Any hilarious caption would be awesome.



Apparently my dog got so scared of the thunder the other night that when my mom got home, he had crawled into and consequently gotten himself stuck in the toilet. Blurry photo, but you get the picture.

So yeah...cheer me up. I'm all depressed and shit.

EDITED TO ADD:

Thanks so much for the awesome captions!!!!!!!!!!!! I came up with a few of my own as well. I had to use paint, so bear with me.









I had fun with this. It cheered me up a bit.