IPOD
RADIO
See the universe as a machine. This machine activates a sequence of events - a
swinging ball knocks a lever that activates a falling weight and so on, until a
cycle is completed by a second ball striking the first.
Now, each event is caused by the one preceding it. No matter how complex we make
the machine, how many stages operating in any direction, this will always be
true. And when started with all stages at a resting state, the interaction
between them will always be the same. You can make it complex to the point where
it exhibits chaotic behaviour by factoring in variables such as how well greased
the joints are, impact from floating dust, or whatever you want, but if the
starting variables are the same the result will always be the same.
So, let us set our machine in motion, but this time imagine that all the stages
will reset themselves to their original state after activation. The machine would
now repeat itself indefinitely, every repeptition the same from the moment one of
the balls strikes the other, this is because the machine/universe is a closed
system where total energy is conserved (making various assumptions of course!)
If the universe functions like this - an alogrithm that begins with a set of
variables, and involves a set sequence of events on the newtownian level, it
follows that the entire course of history is set, and can only happen one way.
The past could not have been any different.
So is free will therefore an illusion? Simply a higher function of our brain that
considers what we might have done in the past if the variables leading up to a
decision had been different? (what if I wasn't so tired? what if i really did
want to?)
Personally I believe that our actions are a result of our feelings, and our
feelings are no less real just because they are a product of the past. The human
race is being taken on a journey, just like a transcontinental railroad - we
don't control the direction, and we don't control the speed, but we have paid our
money so we would be well advised to make the most of the ride.
swinging ball knocks a lever that activates a falling weight and so on, until a
cycle is completed by a second ball striking the first.
Now, each event is caused by the one preceding it. No matter how complex we make
the machine, how many stages operating in any direction, this will always be
true. And when started with all stages at a resting state, the interaction
between them will always be the same. You can make it complex to the point where
it exhibits chaotic behaviour by factoring in variables such as how well greased
the joints are, impact from floating dust, or whatever you want, but if the
starting variables are the same the result will always be the same.
So, let us set our machine in motion, but this time imagine that all the stages
will reset themselves to their original state after activation. The machine would
now repeat itself indefinitely, every repeptition the same from the moment one of
the balls strikes the other, this is because the machine/universe is a closed
system where total energy is conserved (making various assumptions of course!)
If the universe functions like this - an alogrithm that begins with a set of
variables, and involves a set sequence of events on the newtownian level, it
follows that the entire course of history is set, and can only happen one way.
The past could not have been any different.
So is free will therefore an illusion? Simply a higher function of our brain that
considers what we might have done in the past if the variables leading up to a
decision had been different? (what if I wasn't so tired? what if i really did
want to?)
Personally I believe that our actions are a result of our feelings, and our
feelings are no less real just because they are a product of the past. The human
race is being taken on a journey, just like a transcontinental railroad - we
don't control the direction, and we don't control the speed, but we have paid our
money so we would be well advised to make the most of the ride.
We remember the beginning, when there was only the ocean, and the ocean was as vast as the sky.
And floating in the ocean there was a seed, tiny as a grain of sand, and as heavy as a great stone. Coiled tight inside it was a dream. This was the first dream, and it put out roots into the ocean. The only nourishment it needed was the shining, golden sea around it, and sure enough the roots grew until the dream became a tree.
The tree was soft and green, and so it lit fire in the sky, and from the fire was born the light which warmed the tree, filling its limbs and hardening its bark.
The dream tree was soon very large, and began to bear a special kind of fruit - each one was born, ripened and whithered whilst still on the tree, each one a capsule of the water surrounding, that burst upon death releasing the contents back into the greater ocean.
Then we remember the cold. The light became pale in the sky, the fruit of the tree were chilled to their cores. The sea froze, and all there was was ice, and the tree towering above.
Then we remember the warm, and the ice retreated, and in its wake it left the land, and so there was land bordering on sea, and finally, a place for the fruit of the tree to live its season, and to grow new dreams.
And we remember we awakened, and we could see.
And floating in the ocean there was a seed, tiny as a grain of sand, and as heavy as a great stone. Coiled tight inside it was a dream. This was the first dream, and it put out roots into the ocean. The only nourishment it needed was the shining, golden sea around it, and sure enough the roots grew until the dream became a tree.
The tree was soft and green, and so it lit fire in the sky, and from the fire was born the light which warmed the tree, filling its limbs and hardening its bark.
The dream tree was soon very large, and began to bear a special kind of fruit - each one was born, ripened and whithered whilst still on the tree, each one a capsule of the water surrounding, that burst upon death releasing the contents back into the greater ocean.
Then we remember the cold. The light became pale in the sky, the fruit of the tree were chilled to their cores. The sea froze, and all there was was ice, and the tree towering above.
Then we remember the warm, and the ice retreated, and in its wake it left the land, and so there was land bordering on sea, and finally, a place for the fruit of the tree to live its season, and to grow new dreams.
And we remember we awakened, and we could see.
Terrence Mckenna believed that we are here for a purpose. That our existence is not meaningless. We have been bought forth by the Earth to fulfill a purpose. This was part of his theory of novelty as an active force in the universe, the driving force behind events, in fact. This is demonstrably true. Without novel occurances, there is no progress of any sort. And novelty increases with time.
The same is true of the human race. 800,000 years ago Homo Erectus learned the manipulation of fire. This event is celebrated by every culture. Prometheus stealing fire from the gods, figuratively speaking, was the beginning of something only a very few lifeforms on this planet are capable of: Technology. At first, progress was slow, with few tools, there are only limited tools it's possible to invent. But over time, we learned, and unlike other species, we learned from each other. We were able to continue the technological research of our predecessors, without having to work out all the stuff they did by themselves. Like a concrescant wave, technology advances exponentially thrugh epigenetic activity: language, reading, writing, teaching. We are living in miraculous times, day by day we discover more and more amazing things about the universe, our planet, and ourselves, and we are learning to do ever more amazing things. And as our technology evolves to its inevitable end point, our social structures are become ever more complex, our culture ever more symbolic. Surely humanity is headed down the birth canal, our gestation completed, to take our place as one collective consciousness in some unimaginable future that is just round the corner, but completely invisible.
As Mckenna puts it, "We who five million years ago were animals, now can kindle, on our deserts, and if needed; over the cities of our enemies, the very power that lights the stars at night"
I guess my point is, something's coming. Something enormous is going to happen, and everyone can feel it, subconsciously. And that's why society is in such a panic. People are becoming freer, and that terrifies lots of them. They beg and plead for a return to the rules, the structures, the old ways of the dominator paradigm.
In our lifetime, everything is going to change, but I don't think we should be frightened. We should embrace our destiny.
Next Week: Less esotericism, more real life guaranteed
The same is true of the human race. 800,000 years ago Homo Erectus learned the manipulation of fire. This event is celebrated by every culture. Prometheus stealing fire from the gods, figuratively speaking, was the beginning of something only a very few lifeforms on this planet are capable of: Technology. At first, progress was slow, with few tools, there are only limited tools it's possible to invent. But over time, we learned, and unlike other species, we learned from each other. We were able to continue the technological research of our predecessors, without having to work out all the stuff they did by themselves. Like a concrescant wave, technology advances exponentially thrugh epigenetic activity: language, reading, writing, teaching. We are living in miraculous times, day by day we discover more and more amazing things about the universe, our planet, and ourselves, and we are learning to do ever more amazing things. And as our technology evolves to its inevitable end point, our social structures are become ever more complex, our culture ever more symbolic. Surely humanity is headed down the birth canal, our gestation completed, to take our place as one collective consciousness in some unimaginable future that is just round the corner, but completely invisible.
As Mckenna puts it, "We who five million years ago were animals, now can kindle, on our deserts, and if needed; over the cities of our enemies, the very power that lights the stars at night"
I guess my point is, something's coming. Something enormous is going to happen, and everyone can feel it, subconsciously. And that's why society is in such a panic. People are becoming freer, and that terrifies lots of them. They beg and plead for a return to the rules, the structures, the old ways of the dominator paradigm.
In our lifetime, everything is going to change, but I don't think we should be frightened. We should embrace our destiny.
Next Week: Less esotericism, more real life guaranteed
Ten thousand years ago, in the Fertile Crescent of south west Asia, under the watchful eyes of the gods of ancient Mesopotamia and Egypt, an animal that had existed for 190,000 years in a state of egalitarian bliss was corrupted and enslaved by something truly evil.
Agriculture had come to be, and with it the concept of ownership, and civilisation. From that day on, a species of hairless apes began to believe that it was above the other plants and animals of the world, not simply another cog in the ecology of the planet.
Hegemony had come to be.
With belief of superiority over the other species in place, it was simple to extend that to members of their own species.
Domination.
And domination destroys happiness, chains us to the grindstone, forces us to sell ourselves for £5 an hour. No human can ever be truly happy in this prison, yet we are indoctrinated from birth to believe that this is the best way to be. That we can only be happy if we have cars and televisions and power stations and nuclear war. Can't forget war, war is another product purely of civilisation.
The time has come to walk away. Let the planet take our cities, and tear them down with root and branch. Civilisation is a dead end, its only products are misery, hate, greed, envy, violence, oppression. We must return to the state of animal-plant symbiosis that existed on the plains of Africa, fifty thousand years ago.
We must remember the truth.
Separation and heterogeneity is illusion. All is one.
Agriculture had come to be, and with it the concept of ownership, and civilisation. From that day on, a species of hairless apes began to believe that it was above the other plants and animals of the world, not simply another cog in the ecology of the planet.
Hegemony had come to be.
With belief of superiority over the other species in place, it was simple to extend that to members of their own species.
Domination.
And domination destroys happiness, chains us to the grindstone, forces us to sell ourselves for £5 an hour. No human can ever be truly happy in this prison, yet we are indoctrinated from birth to believe that this is the best way to be. That we can only be happy if we have cars and televisions and power stations and nuclear war. Can't forget war, war is another product purely of civilisation.
The time has come to walk away. Let the planet take our cities, and tear them down with root and branch. Civilisation is a dead end, its only products are misery, hate, greed, envy, violence, oppression. We must return to the state of animal-plant symbiosis that existed on the plains of Africa, fifty thousand years ago.
We must remember the truth.
Separation and heterogeneity is illusion. All is one.
But science can only be created by those who are thoroughly imbued with the aspiration toward truth and understanding. This source of feeling, however, springs from the sphere of religion. To this there also belongs the faith in the possibility that the regulations valid for the world of existence are rational, that is, comprehensible to reason. I cannot conceive of a genuine scientist without that profound faith. The situation may be expressed by an image: science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. Though I have asserted above that in truth a legitimate conflict between religion and science cannot exist, I must nevertheless qualify this assertion once again on an essential point, with reference to the actual content of historical religions. This qualification has to do with the concept of God. During the youthful period of mankind's spiritual evolution human fantasy created gods in man's own image, who, by the operations of their will were supposed to determine, or at any rate to influence, the phenomenal world. Man sought to alter the disposition of these gods in his own favor by means of magic and prayer. The idea of God in the religions taught at present is a sublimation of that old concept of the gods. Its anthropomorphic character is shown, for instance, by the fact that men appeal to the Divine Being in prayers and plead for the fulfillment of their wishes.
Albert Einstein - 1941
Albert Einstein - 1941
"You know how sometimes, you smoke too much weed, and you go crazy, but you actually don't, but you think you have, but you haven't?"
I wasn't sure what I was talking about, but judging by the looks of rapt attention on my two companion's faces, It was important. Tonight's healthy consumption of indole ring based compounds had woken the great bore within, there was a point at the end of this sentence, and god damn you I was gonna get there if it killed me!
In timely fashion, and in seeming order to save my endangered dignity, a lanky shape cast a shadow over our table. On closer investigation the shadow was mine, and I realised I was standing with my index finger raised to the sky, a diatribe poised on my lips, ready to cast it's bullshit payload on an unsuspecting, and undeserving public house audience. We made our excuses and left.
Ever notice how pub car parks always look the same? No, guess not. I seem to be alone in this delusion. However, this car park looked much more the same. Than the others, I mean.
"It's kinda like a space port here, we could get a taxi, go to Milton Keynes!"
"Shall we not?"
"Is that a pigeon?"…
"A train, even."
Guess we must have gone home about then, because ten minutes later I woke up in my bed and the inside of my face was absolutely exhausted. I rolled a joint and donned my dressing gown, heading for the sitting room and sweet televisual bliss. The day after an intense psychedelic experience requires quiet reflection, meditation, and Richard and Judy. Possibly Diagnosis Murder too.
I have often wondered if one should say a prayer before you indulge in marijuana. The charas smoking sadhus of the hindu tradition say "Bom Shiva!" before lighting their chillums, but I could never think of anything to say that didn't make me feel stupid so I lit up in dignified silence. Everything was just slightly off. The jumble sale that was my mind was being pieced together slowly. It seemed to happen in discrete events, each one comprising of absolutely nothing changing, but everything being slightly less weird, and alien. I really wanted a sandwich. Or a McDonalds, but the nearest McDonalds was in Truro, and I really didn't feel like I could face the outdoors yet. Let alone a strange indoors too.
Daytime TV should always be watched with the volume set just below the level of comprehension. The words do not matter. The sounds are meant only to comfort you, balm your soul with their gently rolling gibberish and non celebrity interviews, a tide of tastefully lit sets to inspire in the watcher a fountain for eternal vegetable serenity. Visual opium.
A man tires of these things, and I felt a change was in order. Rising unsteadily and walking with awkward gait to the kitchen area, I began thinking of the different possibilities for a mid morning snack. Was a steak too extreme? Would it be terrible of me to fry some chips? Maybe I could order a curry? Unable to decide, I opted for a compromise and grabbed a shower.
The day seems to go quickly when you're on the comedown. It's like you just bumble through it, even if you're not smoking your head gets full, and everything gets sort of jumbled up. It sounds stupid, but I like that feeling. I feel comfortable, and relaxed. All the fight is gone from me after the heroism of the trip. Is this how Samson felt, his nazirite locks cut, nothing left to do but believe? Perhaps I'm over dramatising the situation. Sometimes you should just stay in bed, I guess.
I wasn't sure what I was talking about, but judging by the looks of rapt attention on my two companion's faces, It was important. Tonight's healthy consumption of indole ring based compounds had woken the great bore within, there was a point at the end of this sentence, and god damn you I was gonna get there if it killed me!
In timely fashion, and in seeming order to save my endangered dignity, a lanky shape cast a shadow over our table. On closer investigation the shadow was mine, and I realised I was standing with my index finger raised to the sky, a diatribe poised on my lips, ready to cast it's bullshit payload on an unsuspecting, and undeserving public house audience. We made our excuses and left.
Ever notice how pub car parks always look the same? No, guess not. I seem to be alone in this delusion. However, this car park looked much more the same. Than the others, I mean.
"It's kinda like a space port here, we could get a taxi, go to Milton Keynes!"
"Shall we not?"
"Is that a pigeon?"…
"A train, even."
Guess we must have gone home about then, because ten minutes later I woke up in my bed and the inside of my face was absolutely exhausted. I rolled a joint and donned my dressing gown, heading for the sitting room and sweet televisual bliss. The day after an intense psychedelic experience requires quiet reflection, meditation, and Richard and Judy. Possibly Diagnosis Murder too.
I have often wondered if one should say a prayer before you indulge in marijuana. The charas smoking sadhus of the hindu tradition say "Bom Shiva!" before lighting their chillums, but I could never think of anything to say that didn't make me feel stupid so I lit up in dignified silence. Everything was just slightly off. The jumble sale that was my mind was being pieced together slowly. It seemed to happen in discrete events, each one comprising of absolutely nothing changing, but everything being slightly less weird, and alien. I really wanted a sandwich. Or a McDonalds, but the nearest McDonalds was in Truro, and I really didn't feel like I could face the outdoors yet. Let alone a strange indoors too.
Daytime TV should always be watched with the volume set just below the level of comprehension. The words do not matter. The sounds are meant only to comfort you, balm your soul with their gently rolling gibberish and non celebrity interviews, a tide of tastefully lit sets to inspire in the watcher a fountain for eternal vegetable serenity. Visual opium.
A man tires of these things, and I felt a change was in order. Rising unsteadily and walking with awkward gait to the kitchen area, I began thinking of the different possibilities for a mid morning snack. Was a steak too extreme? Would it be terrible of me to fry some chips? Maybe I could order a curry? Unable to decide, I opted for a compromise and grabbed a shower.
The day seems to go quickly when you're on the comedown. It's like you just bumble through it, even if you're not smoking your head gets full, and everything gets sort of jumbled up. It sounds stupid, but I like that feeling. I feel comfortable, and relaxed. All the fight is gone from me after the heroism of the trip. Is this how Samson felt, his nazirite locks cut, nothing left to do but believe? Perhaps I'm over dramatising the situation. Sometimes you should just stay in bed, I guess.
Right. I can't stand looking at that particularly melodramatic entry any longer
Things are looking up at this end. Basically, all the bad shit that I was terrified was going to happen did, and I came out of it ok at the other end, so yeah. Things are much better.
Things are looking up at this end. Basically, all the bad shit that I was terrified was going to happen did, and I came out of it ok at the other end, so yeah. Things are much better.
I have been away. Not in a physical sense, but spiritually I've been feeling pretty detatched for a while. Times of high stress always do this to me, I get so depersonalised and gain a truly flattened affect. People tell me it's like I'm not really there.
I threw a proper wobbly on Sunday, smashed up one of the signs outside work in a kind of impotent, cathartic rage. It didn't gain me much, just a vague feeling of embarrassment.
I'm feeling much more myself now, though. I have two weeks of holiday starting friday, I'm going to Cornwall on the Friday night sleeper train, then Devon on Saturday, Mooch around the south west on Sunday, Then I might be going to Cardiff the weekend after that, but that's not been confirmed yet. I need more stuff to do, otherwise I will spend the entire fortnight in my room; smoking weed and procrastinating.
I just got a letter calling me in for an "individual consultation" regarding the company-wide redundancies that are imminent. It's on a day when I'm supposed to be on holiday, so I don't know if I'm going to go or not. They are cunts, and I really don't give a shit any more. Fuck them.
I threw a proper wobbly on Sunday, smashed up one of the signs outside work in a kind of impotent, cathartic rage. It didn't gain me much, just a vague feeling of embarrassment.
I'm feeling much more myself now, though. I have two weeks of holiday starting friday, I'm going to Cornwall on the Friday night sleeper train, then Devon on Saturday, Mooch around the south west on Sunday, Then I might be going to Cardiff the weekend after that, but that's not been confirmed yet. I need more stuff to do, otherwise I will spend the entire fortnight in my room; smoking weed and procrastinating.
I just got a letter calling me in for an "individual consultation" regarding the company-wide redundancies that are imminent. It's on a day when I'm supposed to be on holiday, so I don't know if I'm going to go or not. They are cunts, and I really don't give a shit any more. Fuck them.
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