Hey errebody
Hows it going? Its wednesday at 11 in the morning. I have done a bunch of shit so far. The dogs were going crazy at 530 and so I got up and watched the sunrise. Its my roommates birthday today so we had morning coffee together. It was nice, and then I went on facebook and this picture was posted and it made me so happy to see...
Then Cowboy steve came over and drank tea with me. We chatted about love, life, and horses. He was talking about us being a light partical that shines threw a room and thats what we are, and no one can put us in a box or flush us down the toilet and just know that you SHINE BRIGHTLY...
so, so far today's theme is the divine light from within
Then David came over and hes the guy who shot my suicide girl set like two weeks ago. He finally found some time to look at the photos and the ones that were bad, were really bad and the ones that were good, were great!!
We looked through 860, narrowed it down to 100.... from that I picked out my favorites and the number ended up at 40 so... bam... theres a set! Now I have to wait for them to get editted!! I am so excited to see what he does with them, because pre editted.. they looked really good. They look very SG style, we shot next to a bright window so the natural lighting is great... My outfit was hot and I really liked what I was wearing and how it bounced off the background. I did not like my poses though, or most of my facial expression. I have to like.. keep in mind that I'm being sexy and should be having sexual energy while I am shooting. I totally looked like I was hot and sweaty and not communicating very well with the photographer. Every time we do shoots together we get better at talking. I think we need to find a girl to help with the poses cuz hes not very comfortable with that. He keeps thinking we should keep trying to get a good set, liek we've done sets before together and every time we shoot another one it gets much better, but I'd rather submit it. This one is definetly a keeper.
Anyways... set tangent. Sometimes I wonder what kinds of experiences other girls have shooting sets, or what its like shooting with staff where they know what they're doing. I play around with a lot of trial and error. I think it adds to the fun.
I'm so excited for you guys to see this set.
My photographer is super busy right now, hes taking pictures of artifacts for a big art show but I think its nice for him to edit some pictures of a beautiful woman in between clay pots and shell jewelry to keep him focused!
I took a horseback ride out with cowboy last night and I did so well. I rode a horse that used to run away with me and now I got control of him and we are working as a team. We communicated very well last night and I left there feeling like a badass. He is SOOO much horse and we went faster yesterday than I ever went on a horse before... faster than I ever want to go lol... I do not have a need for speed! I am a safety concious person!
All these beautiful pictures of me this photographer is working on with the horse in the water is getting a lot of attention. Its cool but I'm getting all these friends requests on facebook, and I wish people would just friends me on my model page... I dont like having strangers on my personal page. It's kind of weird. Its like ooo if you like looking at pictures of me, add me as Jamberee SG
My sister is getting married on the 4th. I am sad I won't be there but I just can't afford it. I love her though!!
I found a lot of old pictures today, I forgot that I had a photo bucket...
want to see some of them? of course you do!
thats a picture that i drew with pastels in highschool, i was saying thats my dream and its totally come true for me!
all my favorite things
weed
cock
music
dreads
colors and bubbles and fun
i miss my hair!
okay now... halloweens of old montage
today... two years later.... I submitted my photo release forms to SG so hopefully that makes some kind of difference... im not holding my breath or anything, but Better late than never!!
But come on, Soapy girl... not a bad set. It has pink potential for sure I think. When I look at it I see some problems with it, but hopefully this next one will be flawless and turn my ass pink already.
So I've been thinking up my back piece. I'm not sure if I am actually going to go through with this but I kind of want to...
Heres my ideas, so... you know how I have that blue side piece?? I want to do a green/orange one on the other side and in between my shoulder blades have this star wars battle...
an easier/smaller/cheaper version of this idea is doing a shoulder piece, like the top of my shoulder onto my arm but not quite a half piece
using that round shape of the death star and having the fight siloette.... I think that could be a really neat tattoo also.
I'm not sure how much more time and money I'm committing to being tattooed... especially that I'm so far away from my tattoo artist that i love and trust. Theres a guy I have in mind and he comes to the island a few times a year.
What do you guys think? Feedback??
Last night this dude called me that i like to play with sometimes and he was like... i drank tequilla and I want my dick sucked... and naturally, i was like get over here then!!! (hehe) and then he was like, well I want you to suck me all the way off and then pass out (very romantic) and i was like wow.... morning sex?? Deal.
then, he never showed up! Punk....
I was alright with it though, I didn't really mind so much, but I thought it was a very funny interaction.
being single and casual sex is weird to me. I'm so so so much more into it if I like the person and when you have conversations like that... its liek can you at least pretend to like me? hes fresh out of a divorce though, 28 years old.. absolutely gorgeous been with this girl ten years so I don't blame the man at all and I'm glad I get to be in on this new freedom and exciting sexual experiences!
I'm really happy today.
I went outside and this GIANT crab scared the crap out of me.
I want a lunch date. I'm going to work on making that happen.
k have a great day!!
Hows it going? Its wednesday at 11 in the morning. I have done a bunch of shit so far. The dogs were going crazy at 530 and so I got up and watched the sunrise. Its my roommates birthday today so we had morning coffee together. It was nice, and then I went on facebook and this picture was posted and it made me so happy to see...
Then Cowboy steve came over and drank tea with me. We chatted about love, life, and horses. He was talking about us being a light partical that shines threw a room and thats what we are, and no one can put us in a box or flush us down the toilet and just know that you SHINE BRIGHTLY...
so, so far today's theme is the divine light from within
Then David came over and hes the guy who shot my suicide girl set like two weeks ago. He finally found some time to look at the photos and the ones that were bad, were really bad and the ones that were good, were great!!
We looked through 860, narrowed it down to 100.... from that I picked out my favorites and the number ended up at 40 so... bam... theres a set! Now I have to wait for them to get editted!! I am so excited to see what he does with them, because pre editted.. they looked really good. They look very SG style, we shot next to a bright window so the natural lighting is great... My outfit was hot and I really liked what I was wearing and how it bounced off the background. I did not like my poses though, or most of my facial expression. I have to like.. keep in mind that I'm being sexy and should be having sexual energy while I am shooting. I totally looked like I was hot and sweaty and not communicating very well with the photographer. Every time we do shoots together we get better at talking. I think we need to find a girl to help with the poses cuz hes not very comfortable with that. He keeps thinking we should keep trying to get a good set, liek we've done sets before together and every time we shoot another one it gets much better, but I'd rather submit it. This one is definetly a keeper.
Anyways... set tangent. Sometimes I wonder what kinds of experiences other girls have shooting sets, or what its like shooting with staff where they know what they're doing. I play around with a lot of trial and error. I think it adds to the fun.
I'm so excited for you guys to see this set.
My photographer is super busy right now, hes taking pictures of artifacts for a big art show but I think its nice for him to edit some pictures of a beautiful woman in between clay pots and shell jewelry to keep him focused!
I took a horseback ride out with cowboy last night and I did so well. I rode a horse that used to run away with me and now I got control of him and we are working as a team. We communicated very well last night and I left there feeling like a badass. He is SOOO much horse and we went faster yesterday than I ever went on a horse before... faster than I ever want to go lol... I do not have a need for speed! I am a safety concious person!
All these beautiful pictures of me this photographer is working on with the horse in the water is getting a lot of attention. Its cool but I'm getting all these friends requests on facebook, and I wish people would just friends me on my model page... I dont like having strangers on my personal page. It's kind of weird. Its like ooo if you like looking at pictures of me, add me as Jamberee SG
My sister is getting married on the 4th. I am sad I won't be there but I just can't afford it. I love her though!!
I found a lot of old pictures today, I forgot that I had a photo bucket...
want to see some of them? of course you do!
thats a picture that i drew with pastels in highschool, i was saying thats my dream and its totally come true for me!
all my favorite things
weed
cock
music
dreads
colors and bubbles and fun
i miss my hair!
okay now... halloweens of old montage
today... two years later.... I submitted my photo release forms to SG so hopefully that makes some kind of difference... im not holding my breath or anything, but Better late than never!!
But come on, Soapy girl... not a bad set. It has pink potential for sure I think. When I look at it I see some problems with it, but hopefully this next one will be flawless and turn my ass pink already.
So I've been thinking up my back piece. I'm not sure if I am actually going to go through with this but I kind of want to...
Heres my ideas, so... you know how I have that blue side piece?? I want to do a green/orange one on the other side and in between my shoulder blades have this star wars battle...
an easier/smaller/cheaper version of this idea is doing a shoulder piece, like the top of my shoulder onto my arm but not quite a half piece
using that round shape of the death star and having the fight siloette.... I think that could be a really neat tattoo also.
I'm not sure how much more time and money I'm committing to being tattooed... especially that I'm so far away from my tattoo artist that i love and trust. Theres a guy I have in mind and he comes to the island a few times a year.
What do you guys think? Feedback??
Last night this dude called me that i like to play with sometimes and he was like... i drank tequilla and I want my dick sucked... and naturally, i was like get over here then!!! (hehe) and then he was like, well I want you to suck me all the way off and then pass out (very romantic) and i was like wow.... morning sex?? Deal.
then, he never showed up! Punk....
I was alright with it though, I didn't really mind so much, but I thought it was a very funny interaction.
being single and casual sex is weird to me. I'm so so so much more into it if I like the person and when you have conversations like that... its liek can you at least pretend to like me? hes fresh out of a divorce though, 28 years old.. absolutely gorgeous been with this girl ten years so I don't blame the man at all and I'm glad I get to be in on this new freedom and exciting sexual experiences!
I'm really happy today.
I went outside and this GIANT crab scared the crap out of me.
I want a lunch date. I'm going to work on making that happen.
k have a great day!!
Well HELLO there everybody...
The reggae festival last night was insanely awesome... great vibes, lots of community love... i drank like two dozen beers and felt like shit all day.... drinking ten hours.. thats a double shift in some worlds.
I still don't feel so hot so this is going to be brief.
I have been working really hard on training the horses to trailer and we are having great success with the time and patience thing... super happy about it.
Some pictures of me in my nudey pants got posted on facebook.... I at first wasn't so happy that my grandma and that kid that i met that one time etc all saw these... but then i thought... FUCK IT!
sharing them with you guys! (who i dont mind seeing me nakey at all)
So I have been having all these problems and bitching and whining on here, and I realized I need to start makign steps towards fixing these problems...
Today I was looking at my news feed and my favorite lady, Judy Orloff was saying something about love addiction issues and I was like ALAS! my problem and theres books out there with solutions. Even reading about it and getting insight will help me on my path to healing.... cuz you know I can't afford to see a shrink!!
I added a bunch of self help books to my wishlist. http://amzn.com/w/RUBOPNGMHUP3
I smoked the last of my pot today. Sad day.
I haven't run out of pot in a while, usually i'm better about planning. Can I add that to my wishlist too???
so heres these pics
The reggae festival last night was insanely awesome... great vibes, lots of community love... i drank like two dozen beers and felt like shit all day.... drinking ten hours.. thats a double shift in some worlds.
I still don't feel so hot so this is going to be brief.
I have been working really hard on training the horses to trailer and we are having great success with the time and patience thing... super happy about it.
Some pictures of me in my nudey pants got posted on facebook.... I at first wasn't so happy that my grandma and that kid that i met that one time etc all saw these... but then i thought... FUCK IT!
sharing them with you guys! (who i dont mind seeing me nakey at all)
So I have been having all these problems and bitching and whining on here, and I realized I need to start makign steps towards fixing these problems...
Today I was looking at my news feed and my favorite lady, Judy Orloff was saying something about love addiction issues and I was like ALAS! my problem and theres books out there with solutions. Even reading about it and getting insight will help me on my path to healing.... cuz you know I can't afford to see a shrink!!
I added a bunch of self help books to my wishlist. http://amzn.com/w/RUBOPNGMHUP3
I smoked the last of my pot today. Sad day.
I haven't run out of pot in a while, usually i'm better about planning. Can I add that to my wishlist too??? so heres these pics
Good morning!
Yesterday I ordered two meals at a resturant to go and laid in bed watching how I met your mother for 5 hours... i love ted mosby... hes so hot and sweet lol..
I woke up feeling like crap, but I dont want to feel like crap today cuz its SUNDAY FUNDAY!
so instead I got up and cleaned my room, that always levels out my head a bit.
wake up sad remedy...redbull + 3 hits of pot + cleaning = not such a bad start to the day.
I didn't buy tickets to this reggae festival but its happening down the road from my house, so if I show up early I'm sure I'll be able to get in a reggae party!
I have a new dress that I'm excited to wear!
looks better on, im sure.
I also have this new skirt, that i LOVE!!
made by the one and only Dessa ....
dessagod.etsy.com
So Im going to see about a dozen of st croix's local reggae artists...
My FAVORITE is not going to be there, Melame Gange....
but here is some of his tunes... please give it a listen if you are into reggae cuz you might really like him!
I just saw this new video recently, its kinda silly but its a good song.
http://youtu.be/9J3RrHFrcVE
this isn't my favorite, but it has the most hits on youtube so it must be good...
http://youtu.be/F8Rp-IsUXcQ
but im excited to see harry mo and charese king...
This show was supposed to be last weekend but it got cancelled cuz we thought we were going to get hit hard by tropical storm raphael... so rescheduled for today!
Thats Harry Mo... I love that guy!
So this week is going to be exciting.
Steffany gets here on Tuesday! Steffany is the girl that I moved down here with last year, we worked at the ranch together as wranglers, and I haven't seen her since I left the ranch. We didn't leave on the best terms and I can sense some hostility so I'm a little bit nervous. I am going to just try and go with the flow and be loving and welcoming and try to make things better between us. I am really bad at keeping secrets and I'm kind of ashamed of myself... but... nobody's perfect and hopefully we can just move past all the bullshit.
Thursday is when CARL gets here!!!! I looooove me some carl. he worked at the ranch this year too and we got closer, but I havent seen him in 2 months and I miss him.
Hes fun to be around. We were planning on moving in together but I am having serious second thoughts now. I love where I'm living right now, the location, the rent, my landlord, all the animals, the pool... but we are close friends so I kind of feel like an ass for doing this to him.
One thing I learned last season was that I can't put my neck out (especially when it involves money) for my friends because I feel morally obligated because in the end, people wouldn't do the same for me and it ends up biting me in the ass.
Just between you and me, I kind of have feelings for carl.. maybe? I love him, like a brother but lately when he touches me it makes me feel all fluttery inside so maybe I have a bit of a crush on him. If we are roommates.... that could get really messy.
The funny feelings started when he sat me down and told me that he cared about me too much for us ever to fuck because he cares a lot about our friendship and wouldn't want anything to come between us, and I was like OMG i feel the same way! As soon as the man told me he wouldn't sleep with me, I wanted to. I always kinda thought I could whenever I wanted so a week or so later I snuck in his bed and kinda tried and hes like no sorry and after that... crush.
I'm dumb.
But I've gone three whole days without talking to adrian and I want to keep this up. No more heart ache. Its a sick sad addiction that I need to overcome.
It's crazy too because I have been fooling around with this guy...
the one on the left
but when I masterbate, I'm still thinking about this guy!! (one on the right)
I guess both of them are really hot lol... but... its time to move on. Other guy just got divorced so Its like no strings attached really REALLY hot sex... perfect! I love a good fuck buddy, especially ones that I haven't developed any feelings for!
Anyways.... that was a tangent I just went on...
love these paws!!
fire dancers on stilts!
I'm not sure if I told you guys this yet but on Monday I ate mushrooms with my best friend and we chilled out and watched the sun set and it BLEW MY MIND! I thought it was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen, and so I took several pictures of it... turns out even my sober face thinks its the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen! It was a good night, we danced naked in the moonlight and swam in the pool... having a pool makes tripping So frickin fun! Being able to just float in the water and space out... good times. The night ended in a very relaxing massage trade.
puppies
I love cowboy steve too! We have been hanging out a lot lately. On friday we are taking the horses to the school and dressing them up for halloween and giving pony rides for a fund raiser. Last year it was soooo fun.
It is so much work to take them there. We have already started trying to train teh horses to go into the trailer. That was frickin intense. Theres so much fear there... turns out... I'm very afraid of being in a trailer with a scared horse. Clastrophobia! We so far have done really well and we are proud of the progress we've made.
I had a nightmare last night about the trailer. Always if theres something going on inside of me thats related to horses and fear always the horses turn into GIANT DOGS! I'm scared of dogs.. for hte most part. so... it shows up in my subconcious
the other day I was so excited to catch the turtles doing it
i dont know what i think about this picture of me but here it is!
K... have a great day everybody! SUNDAY FUNDAY !!!
Yesterday I ordered two meals at a resturant to go and laid in bed watching how I met your mother for 5 hours... i love ted mosby... hes so hot and sweet lol..
I woke up feeling like crap, but I dont want to feel like crap today cuz its SUNDAY FUNDAY!
so instead I got up and cleaned my room, that always levels out my head a bit.
wake up sad remedy...redbull + 3 hits of pot + cleaning = not such a bad start to the day.
I didn't buy tickets to this reggae festival but its happening down the road from my house, so if I show up early I'm sure I'll be able to get in a reggae party!
I have a new dress that I'm excited to wear!
looks better on, im sure.
I also have this new skirt, that i LOVE!!
made by the one and only Dessa ....
dessagod.etsy.com
So Im going to see about a dozen of st croix's local reggae artists...
My FAVORITE is not going to be there, Melame Gange....
but here is some of his tunes... please give it a listen if you are into reggae cuz you might really like him!
I just saw this new video recently, its kinda silly but its a good song.
http://youtu.be/9J3RrHFrcVE
this isn't my favorite, but it has the most hits on youtube so it must be good...
http://youtu.be/F8Rp-IsUXcQ
but im excited to see harry mo and charese king...
This show was supposed to be last weekend but it got cancelled cuz we thought we were going to get hit hard by tropical storm raphael... so rescheduled for today!
Thats Harry Mo... I love that guy!
So this week is going to be exciting.
Steffany gets here on Tuesday! Steffany is the girl that I moved down here with last year, we worked at the ranch together as wranglers, and I haven't seen her since I left the ranch. We didn't leave on the best terms and I can sense some hostility so I'm a little bit nervous. I am going to just try and go with the flow and be loving and welcoming and try to make things better between us. I am really bad at keeping secrets and I'm kind of ashamed of myself...
but... nobody's perfect and hopefully we can just move past all the bullshit. Thursday is when CARL gets here!!!! I looooove me some carl. he worked at the ranch this year too and we got closer, but I havent seen him in 2 months and I miss him.
Hes fun to be around. We were planning on moving in together but I am having serious second thoughts now. I love where I'm living right now, the location, the rent, my landlord, all the animals, the pool... but we are close friends so I kind of feel like an ass for doing this to him.
One thing I learned last season was that I can't put my neck out (especially when it involves money) for my friends because I feel morally obligated because in the end, people wouldn't do the same for me and it ends up biting me in the ass.
Just between you and me, I kind of have feelings for carl.. maybe? I love him, like a brother but lately when he touches me it makes me feel all fluttery inside so maybe I have a bit of a crush on him. If we are roommates.... that could get really messy.
The funny feelings started when he sat me down and told me that he cared about me too much for us ever to fuck because he cares a lot about our friendship and wouldn't want anything to come between us, and I was like OMG i feel the same way! As soon as the man told me he wouldn't sleep with me, I wanted to. I always kinda thought I could whenever I wanted so a week or so later I snuck in his bed and kinda tried and hes like no sorry and after that... crush.
I'm dumb.
But I've gone three whole days without talking to adrian and I want to keep this up. No more heart ache. Its a sick sad addiction that I need to overcome.
It's crazy too because I have been fooling around with this guy...
the one on the left
but when I masterbate, I'm still thinking about this guy!! (one on the right)
I guess both of them are really hot lol... but... its time to move on. Other guy just got divorced so Its like no strings attached really REALLY hot sex... perfect! I love a good fuck buddy, especially ones that I haven't developed any feelings for!
Anyways.... that was a tangent I just went on...
love these paws!!
fire dancers on stilts!
I'm not sure if I told you guys this yet but on Monday I ate mushrooms with my best friend and we chilled out and watched the sun set and it BLEW MY MIND! I thought it was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen, and so I took several pictures of it... turns out even my sober face thinks its the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen! It was a good night, we danced naked in the moonlight and swam in the pool... having a pool makes tripping So frickin fun! Being able to just float in the water and space out... good times. The night ended in a very relaxing massage trade.
puppies
I love cowboy steve too! We have been hanging out a lot lately. On friday we are taking the horses to the school and dressing them up for halloween and giving pony rides for a fund raiser. Last year it was soooo fun.
It is so much work to take them there. We have already started trying to train teh horses to go into the trailer. That was frickin intense. Theres so much fear there... turns out... I'm very afraid of being in a trailer with a scared horse. Clastrophobia! We so far have done really well and we are proud of the progress we've made.
I had a nightmare last night about the trailer. Always if theres something going on inside of me thats related to horses and fear always the horses turn into GIANT DOGS! I'm scared of dogs.. for hte most part. so... it shows up in my subconcious
the other day I was so excited to catch the turtles doing it
i dont know what i think about this picture of me but here it is!
K... have a great day everybody! SUNDAY FUNDAY !!!
Thanks guys... you're the best.
I really truely love having this blog that I can just be honest and myself on. Its so refreshing sometimes to be able to share with this community. It's kinda like "my own thing" and I feel safe here. Thank you for that.
where i live is beautiful and i need to meditate on finding love and joy from within myself.
One Love! RastaFari!
goign to this show sunday
I really truely love having this blog that I can just be honest and myself on. Its so refreshing sometimes to be able to share with this community. It's kinda like "my own thing" and I feel safe here. Thank you for that.
where i live is beautiful and i need to meditate on finding love and joy from within myself.
One Love! RastaFari!
goign to this show sunday
Good morning boys and girls...
I appreciate all the pep talks. I am feeling better this morning. I have done this whole, get drunk and do stupid shit, many a times and I'm sure this will not be the last time that I have to feel this way.
I have spent this entire year with my heart in a flutter about this boy. This one boy... man actually. 38 year old... I have been loving the 38 year olds lately. He is literally everything I want in a partner except for the fact that he doesn't want me. When we are together, we make beautiful love, we laugh, we sing and always have things to talk about. When we're apart (which is most the time) I'm just not whole, sad and longing for what will never happen. We haven't slept together for 6 months but in this past 6 months theres hardly a moment when I'm not thinking about him. I have passed up opportunities to be happy with someone else. All my friends don't want to hear about it anymore, they think I'm sad and pathetic. Its SOO time to move on. Part of me thinks I won't really get over him until I leave this island. I know you have heard me cry about him on here before... Its really really REALLY time to let this go.
Wednesday night humiliation night was the first time we have spent time together in a long time. I talked to him over facebook chat wednesday afternoon and told him I've had it... we can't chat anymore. He is so sweet to me, always talks to me almost every single day over chat. We are always checking in with each other and sometimes talking for hours on end. My friend patrick later described this as the cat and the string technique... that hes just stringing me along, keeping me thinking about him for whenever hes drunk enough, or bored enough to want to fuck me again. There I will be, waiting for him. I kinda freaked out the other day and was like, thats it! No more chatting! I'm sick of feeling heartbroken, loving someone who doesn't love me back. Wanting someone who has told me time and time again we will never be together.
I'm sure I'm making myself sound crazy, but I can't help.... for one, I am crazy... for another, I just don't want to settle for anything less than absolutely what I want in a man and I couldn't even have dreampt this man up cuz hes great in ways I never knew!
I have serious issues with men. We can go as far as saying daddy issues... story with my dad... he barely ever came to see me, but when he did it was amazing, and he never would let himself love me as much as I wanted him to... Sound familiar?
look at me having a little pity party right now lol im so pathetic...
have i ever introduced u guys to my daddy??? Here he is...
He's dead now, but he was awesome.
anyways... i said dont fucking talk to me anymore... please let me move on, and what did he do? say all the right things and then come pick me up and take me on the heiniken boat to see the bioluminecent bay... we met on the heiniken boat this time last year... I thought, what a great opportunity for us to rekindle something...
nope instead i got shitfaced, can't remember anything and now im limping around with a chunk out of my foot... looking thru scratched up glasses feeling like an asshole.
what am i supposed to do with myself??
I just posted a ton of these new pics from my recent shoot that I am absolutely thrilled about and someone commented on one of the pictures...
Jill, you are such a little goofball in person (that's a good thing in my book!) that the gorgeousness gets forgotten. You look really natural and at ease in all these pics. Great job!
Tuesday at 11:29am · Unlike · 2
I loved this comment... its so true. If any of you knew me in person, I'm such a dork and awkward and I always wear my hair in a bun and slouch a lot.
Its cold today... cold for the carribean... im actually wearing pants. Usually in the morning I chill here at my computer spot...
nakey
the sea is very calm today and its cloudy
at least i got brinx, he loves me.
I am a firm believer in you get what u ask for, I've been trying to meditate on the man of my dreams deciding to move down to the north shore of st. croix (within walking distance) and having a "love at first site" moment and us never spending any time apart ever again.
It could happen... If you see him (or are him) get your ass down here already!
So i shot that set like two weeks ago that I am pretty sure is FABULOUS! but... i'm not paying him and hes a professional photographer with a lot going on and hes putting this project on the back burner.... sg is a lot about patience. I bet you don't know that, unless you are a hopeful or an sg... cuz the whole shooting, editting, queue process is like ages... and then the wait is really on to see if they will buy it.
This set I shot was not just for men that think I'm hot... this is fuckign artsy, great lighting, angles... even the haters are goign to love this one.
I just started a model mayhem page... im not sure if im allowed to do that on here or not so don't tell on me hehe www.modelmayhem.com/jamberee
My mom saw taht I linked someone this on facebook and she was like WAAA??? Are you trying to commit suicide??????? she freaked out... I didn't want to clarify that, no mom, really I'm just posing nude on the internet... lol. I told her to not worry about it and changed the subject quickly.
I feel better now that I expressed my feelings and cried a little... thanks for always being there for me!
I appreciate all the pep talks. I am feeling better this morning. I have done this whole, get drunk and do stupid shit, many a times and I'm sure this will not be the last time that I have to feel this way.
I have spent this entire year with my heart in a flutter about this boy. This one boy... man actually. 38 year old... I have been loving the 38 year olds lately. He is literally everything I want in a partner except for the fact that he doesn't want me. When we are together, we make beautiful love, we laugh, we sing and always have things to talk about. When we're apart (which is most the time) I'm just not whole, sad and longing for what will never happen. We haven't slept together for 6 months but in this past 6 months theres hardly a moment when I'm not thinking about him. I have passed up opportunities to be happy with someone else. All my friends don't want to hear about it anymore, they think I'm sad and pathetic. Its SOO time to move on. Part of me thinks I won't really get over him until I leave this island. I know you have heard me cry about him on here before... Its really really REALLY time to let this go.
Wednesday night humiliation night was the first time we have spent time together in a long time. I talked to him over facebook chat wednesday afternoon and told him I've had it... we can't chat anymore. He is so sweet to me, always talks to me almost every single day over chat. We are always checking in with each other and sometimes talking for hours on end. My friend patrick later described this as the cat and the string technique... that hes just stringing me along, keeping me thinking about him for whenever hes drunk enough, or bored enough to want to fuck me again. There I will be, waiting for him. I kinda freaked out the other day and was like, thats it! No more chatting! I'm sick of feeling heartbroken, loving someone who doesn't love me back. Wanting someone who has told me time and time again we will never be together.
I'm sure I'm making myself sound crazy, but I can't help.... for one, I am crazy... for another, I just don't want to settle for anything less than absolutely what I want in a man and I couldn't even have dreampt this man up cuz hes great in ways I never knew!
I have serious issues with men. We can go as far as saying daddy issues... story with my dad... he barely ever came to see me, but when he did it was amazing, and he never would let himself love me as much as I wanted him to... Sound familiar?
look at me having a little pity party right now lol im so pathetic...
have i ever introduced u guys to my daddy??? Here he is...
He's dead now, but he was awesome.
anyways... i said dont fucking talk to me anymore... please let me move on, and what did he do? say all the right things and then come pick me up and take me on the heiniken boat to see the bioluminecent bay... we met on the heiniken boat this time last year... I thought, what a great opportunity for us to rekindle something...
nope instead i got shitfaced, can't remember anything and now im limping around with a chunk out of my foot... looking thru scratched up glasses feeling like an asshole.
what am i supposed to do with myself??
I just posted a ton of these new pics from my recent shoot that I am absolutely thrilled about and someone commented on one of the pictures...
Jill, you are such a little goofball in person (that's a good thing in my book!) that the gorgeousness gets forgotten. You look really natural and at ease in all these pics. Great job!
Tuesday at 11:29am · Unlike · 2
I loved this comment... its so true. If any of you knew me in person, I'm such a dork and awkward and I always wear my hair in a bun and slouch a lot.
Its cold today... cold for the carribean... im actually wearing pants. Usually in the morning I chill here at my computer spot...
nakey
the sea is very calm today and its cloudy
at least i got brinx, he loves me.
I am a firm believer in you get what u ask for, I've been trying to meditate on the man of my dreams deciding to move down to the north shore of st. croix (within walking distance) and having a "love at first site" moment and us never spending any time apart ever again.
It could happen... If you see him (or are him) get your ass down here already!
So i shot that set like two weeks ago that I am pretty sure is FABULOUS! but... i'm not paying him and hes a professional photographer with a lot going on and hes putting this project on the back burner.... sg is a lot about patience. I bet you don't know that, unless you are a hopeful or an sg... cuz the whole shooting, editting, queue process is like ages... and then the wait is really on to see if they will buy it.
This set I shot was not just for men that think I'm hot... this is fuckign artsy, great lighting, angles... even the haters are goign to love this one.
I just started a model mayhem page... im not sure if im allowed to do that on here or not so don't tell on me hehe www.modelmayhem.com/jamberee
My mom saw taht I linked someone this on facebook and she was like WAAA??? Are you trying to commit suicide??????? she freaked out... I didn't want to clarify that, no mom, really I'm just posing nude on the internet... lol. I told her to not worry about it and changed the subject quickly.
I feel better now that I expressed my feelings and cried a little... thanks for always being there for me!
Hey guys!
I got wasted last night and acted a fool... i've been laying in bed hating my guts all day and remembering shit and being embarrassed this is the worst... i had that familiar bad feeling for being black out drunk and dealing with it in the morning
i cut my foot open and found my glasses at the bottom of someone's dingy and they are all scratched up
i'm an idiot... so my plan is to post nude pics of myself so that you guys will cheer me up lol...
there i took a bunch early cuz i was sexting but i guess i deleted most of them... INCRIMINATING I TELL YOU!
not that... theres not already naked pictures of me on the internet!
oops.... but i guess from here... more is better!
heres some more stuff from my shoot
did you guys know that im secretly a mermaid???
k... have a good night
I got wasted last night and acted a fool... i've been laying in bed hating my guts all day and remembering shit and being embarrassed
this is the worst... i had that familiar bad feeling for being black out drunk and dealing with it in the morning i cut my foot open and found my glasses at the bottom of someone's dingy and they are all scratched up
i'm an idiot... so my plan is to post nude pics of myself so that you guys will cheer me up lol...
there i took a bunch early cuz i was sexting but i guess i deleted most of them... INCRIMINATING I TELL YOU!
not that... theres not already naked pictures of me on the internet!
oops.... but i guess from here... more is better!
heres some more stuff from my shoot
did you guys know that im secretly a mermaid???
k... have a good night
I can't wait, I keep posting these as they come in... These were all shot by Charlene Springer
SOOOO excited about these!!
I just found out/realized that I haven't sent in a photography release form in for 4 out of the 5 of my sets... I guess I did it the first time and spaced. So, maybe my sets haven't been bought all this time because of that? I printed them out and got them filled out... so hopefully I can find a friend with a scanner and get these turned in!! You know how when it rains it pours... I've been on a streak with my modeling lately and lots of people want to work with me! So... maybe I can send these in and I can finally be a suicide girl!!
