I wanna live on an island.

As for the photographer give it a week. As for the other thing, is he staying at your place and the Girl staying at his place a possibility? Because it seems to me that would settle the trust issues without letting her into your space so the status quo is maintained. And just as a side note it is ok if he wants to fuck her, wanting to do something and acting on it are two different things. And you live on a lovely island, if you would have me and put me up I would travel and crash for a week with no expectations of hooking up. The destination and a friendly face is worth the cost of the trip.

Maybe he's thinking that "we" = you + him + her.
Or maybe he wants to see you both compete for his attention.
Either way, you should probably talk to him about it openly and honestly. Don't let it boil over.

honest convo may be the only solution for this one...
and, yes, love does fuck with one's mind...

Completely inappropriate for him to have done this, no gentleman and not worth your time,

I would keep an open mind until you meet her. I'd be cautious but accepting and not act on negative emotions. Hope it all works out well.

I think I would feel just as you do in a situation like this. Jealousy is just as much a part of human nature as lust. It would be impossible not to feel threatened by this if you value the relationship. What he had in mind when he invited her to visit and what he has in mind now that you are in a more serious relationship could be very different. Having him stay at your place sounds like a good option. It doesn't sound like the girl who is coming knows what she is walking into. This is going to be awkward for every one. I suggest that he introduce her to you right away and let her know he is involved. Maybe you could both meet her when she arrives. The most important thing is that you and your BF have to host her as a couple.

The fact that he suggested having her stay at your place and you with him indicates that he has no wish to be in any way intimate with her. We can't control our initial reaction to anything because it's a reflex based on a lifetime of experience and belief, generally not up to date if you continue to learn and mature. Without going into a long dissertation, I can tell you that evolution has incorporated the inclination to "cheat" in both sexes under certain circumstances so we can't judge ourselves on what we think or feel at any given moment because what matters is what we actually choose to do. If he wants to fuck her but not as much as he wants to protect you from being hurt and to preserve your relationship, I think that is the best possible situation, not one in which he sacrifices nothing and expends no effort at all to keep you happy.

The worst thing that can happen is that you would have the painful realization that you don't mean as much to him as you thought but without reading minds there is no way to predict that kind of thing. In that instance you are better off without him but all indications are that beyond the initial mistakes of extending the invitation and failing to clarify his situation with you, he has behaved as well as anyone could hope. Fear is a prediction of future hurt and there is no benefit to suffering before anything has happened because this is survivable no matter how it turns out, Emotional pain sucks but we always get through it. Good luck!

Um... I agree with Wolfox, talking out your feelings and getting to the bottom of this is the best thing. Don't dance around the issues at hand. Referring back to what you posted recently about the fb thing, it seems like that has somehow been resolved with you trusting him for his word. So if that is the case, you have to not imagine what bad may come and put your trust in him once again. Love sometimes boils down to trust. If you love him, trust him. If he loves you, he wont destroy your trust. It’s a big risk with a big fall if all goes bad, but if you both are in the same space of trust, then again, it will prove his love for you.

I know there is a lot more to this but really, I feel you have to step back from things and look at them from where we are all looking at this... what was he thinking? who is this girl? would you do that to someone else -> go visit a guy friend who already has a lady and hope to crash at his place? Long time friends maybe would do that, but "acquaintances" seems a bit of a stretch. Anyhow... you're smart, don't feed your mind with nonsense... live in reality and not your imagination on this one, you'll feel better in the end.

yes, I think you need to talk to him..

I know this is from the Bible but it is true

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

3 way!

As a former St. Johnian my advice to you is to play it ice cold. Tell your man that he will be staying with you and miss St. John can use his apartment. He told her she could come it would be super rude to take back the invitation after she has already spent hundreds of dollars on the flight, taxis, ferry boats. This girl probably just wants to see the big island and have fun. Be nice to her, introduce her to a sexy guy friend of yours. It will be better for everyone. Also make damn sure your man know that he owes you one big after this. Like Virgin Gorda trip big.

Wow... I really shouldn't get involved, but I live on an island too.... so we are practically brother and sister as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, I would be upset too. I guess the plan of him staying at your place with you while she stays at his place alone is okay. BUT... does that really settle the issue? Obviously trust is already an issue if you are having these feelings (rightly so imo), and he didn't take your feelings into consideration before having this harlot (couldn't resist. Sorry), come to his place. I think you may have to take a look at how you really feel about him and how he really feels about you. But then again, I could just be a heart-broken, cheated on, hurt, bitter son of a bitch who now expects the worst in people as my defense mechanism. Yeah... I would be hurt and pissed. That's just me though.
Good luck!

But seriously, I usually trust my gut in situations like this. And when I fail to trust my gut, I always end up wishing I would have. Trust your gut (and/or heart.... whatever you want to call it).