So, there's this girl....
...and I've been crazy about her for ages. Pretty much since I first met her when she started at work. She's just this amazing-crazy-smart-funny-sexy person, we get on fantastically well, have loads in common, the whole shebang.
And of course, she has a boyfriend. Who she's been with for three years.
Now when it comes to expressing my feelings, I'm not the most forthcoming of individuals. And I'm even worse with women. I'm more of an admire-from-afar kind of guy.
A couple of weeks ago, we were having one of those stupidly long text message conversations, the kind where if you just picked up the phone and called each other instead of sending messages back and forth, it'd probably save you 50quid. I happened to mention that I might have my eye on a ladyfriend, and since then she just wouldn't let it drop. Wanted to know everything about her, who she was, how I knew her, what she was like, and so on. So, me being me, I told her as much as I could without actually telling her that I was indeed talking about her. I thought it was kinda obvious, but it turns out.....not so much.
(At this point, I probably should explain why I didn't just tell her straight off: I have a history of going after girls that have either no interest in me in 'that way', or are already taken, or for some other reason I will never have a shot with. What usually happens is I start hanging around with them, end really liking them, then by the time they break up with their other half, we're already firmly entrenched in the dreaded Friend Zone. Then I get pissed off, end up telling them exactly how I feel, scare them off and ruin a perfectly good friendship. And so I'm always a tad apprehensive about telling a friend that I see her as more than just a friend.)
Anyway, back to the story. The girl in question has been trying to set me up with someone (no-one specific, just anyone) for ages, so naturally, when I told her I had my eye on someone she got it into head that I absolutely had to tell this girl how I felt. I explained the whole situation to her, explained how this mystery woman had a boyfriend she's been with for ages, but she came back with the outrageously teasing comment of 'well maybe you could just steal her away from him'. How unintentionally cruel is that?! I even went as far as asking her how she'd react if someone told her they had feelings for her, being in a long-term relationship like she is. Now I think about it, it really is mind-boggling that she didn't pick up on the fact I was talking about her, but never mind.
So yesterday, work night out. She'd been on at me all day that I really should tell my mystery woman how I felt, because you just never know what might happen. And of course I had lots and lots of lovely alcohol, and ended up telling her exactly who I'd been talking about the whole time. Needless to say, I got shot down.
But just to make matters worse, I didn't just get the regular 'sorry, I just see you as a mate' kind of rejection, or even the drink-down-the-front-go-fuck-yourself-dirty-perv variety. Oh no. I got the all-time worst kind of rejection there is going.
"If I wasn't with my boyfriend then things would be different. But I am."
Fan. Fucking. Tastic. What are you supposed to say to that?!
On a lighter note, I now have blue hair. My boss? Not amused.
UPDATE: And now of course, she's sent me the obligatory "are we alright from last night? are we still mates?" message. Whoopee.
...and I've been crazy about her for ages. Pretty much since I first met her when she started at work. She's just this amazing-crazy-smart-funny-sexy person, we get on fantastically well, have loads in common, the whole shebang.
And of course, she has a boyfriend. Who she's been with for three years.
Now when it comes to expressing my feelings, I'm not the most forthcoming of individuals. And I'm even worse with women. I'm more of an admire-from-afar kind of guy.
A couple of weeks ago, we were having one of those stupidly long text message conversations, the kind where if you just picked up the phone and called each other instead of sending messages back and forth, it'd probably save you 50quid. I happened to mention that I might have my eye on a ladyfriend, and since then she just wouldn't let it drop. Wanted to know everything about her, who she was, how I knew her, what she was like, and so on. So, me being me, I told her as much as I could without actually telling her that I was indeed talking about her. I thought it was kinda obvious, but it turns out.....not so much.
(At this point, I probably should explain why I didn't just tell her straight off: I have a history of going after girls that have either no interest in me in 'that way', or are already taken, or for some other reason I will never have a shot with. What usually happens is I start hanging around with them, end really liking them, then by the time they break up with their other half, we're already firmly entrenched in the dreaded Friend Zone. Then I get pissed off, end up telling them exactly how I feel, scare them off and ruin a perfectly good friendship. And so I'm always a tad apprehensive about telling a friend that I see her as more than just a friend.)
Anyway, back to the story. The girl in question has been trying to set me up with someone (no-one specific, just anyone) for ages, so naturally, when I told her I had my eye on someone she got it into head that I absolutely had to tell this girl how I felt. I explained the whole situation to her, explained how this mystery woman had a boyfriend she's been with for ages, but she came back with the outrageously teasing comment of 'well maybe you could just steal her away from him'. How unintentionally cruel is that?! I even went as far as asking her how she'd react if someone told her they had feelings for her, being in a long-term relationship like she is. Now I think about it, it really is mind-boggling that she didn't pick up on the fact I was talking about her, but never mind.
So yesterday, work night out. She'd been on at me all day that I really should tell my mystery woman how I felt, because you just never know what might happen. And of course I had lots and lots of lovely alcohol, and ended up telling her exactly who I'd been talking about the whole time. Needless to say, I got shot down.
But just to make matters worse, I didn't just get the regular 'sorry, I just see you as a mate' kind of rejection, or even the drink-down-the-front-go-fuck-yourself-dirty-perv variety. Oh no. I got the all-time worst kind of rejection there is going.
"If I wasn't with my boyfriend then things would be different. But I am."
Fan. Fucking. Tastic. What are you supposed to say to that?!
On a lighter note, I now have blue hair. My boss? Not amused.
UPDATE: And now of course, she's sent me the obligatory "are we alright from last night? are we still mates?" message. Whoopee.
