Guaged my ears again. ^_^
No big deal I just wish it didn't take so long to gauge to the sizes I want.
I also wanted to thank everyone for the advice and comments left on my last journal ^_^
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the record I love UFC ( Ultimate Fighting Championship )
As both a fan of MMA ( mixed martial arts ) and someone who is activly involved in MMA
I was amped when I got to see the UFC Ultimate Fighter Season 3 finally live.
-In the opening bout of the night Mike Nickels defeted Wes Combs in the first round by Rear Naked Choke
-Rory Singer defeted Ross "The Gladiator" Pointon within :44 seconds due to tapout of a Triangle hold.
-Kalib Starnes defeated Danny Abbad by Rear Naked Choke at the 2:56 second mark of the First round.
- Late Replacement Luigi Fioravanti defeated Solomon Hutcherson with a KO at :45 seconds of round one
-Matt Hamill defeated Jesse Forbes due to referee stoppage at the 4:47 mark of the opening round
-Keith "The Dean of Mean" Jardine defeated Wilson Gouveia.
-Ed Herman lost to Kendall Grove by Judge's decision *29-28*
-Michael "the Count" Bisping defeated Josh Haynes by TKO :46 seconds into Round 3
-In the final match of the night my boy Kenny"Ken-flo" Florian easily defeated Sam Stout 1:46 into the first round by RNC ( Rear Naked Choke )
Got to cheer for the boston kid
The End
No big deal I just wish it didn't take so long to gauge to the sizes I want.
I also wanted to thank everyone for the advice and comments left on my last journal ^_^
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the record I love UFC ( Ultimate Fighting Championship )
As both a fan of MMA ( mixed martial arts ) and someone who is activly involved in MMA
I was amped when I got to see the UFC Ultimate Fighter Season 3 finally live.
-In the opening bout of the night Mike Nickels defeted Wes Combs in the first round by Rear Naked Choke
-Rory Singer defeted Ross "The Gladiator" Pointon within :44 seconds due to tapout of a Triangle hold.
-Kalib Starnes defeated Danny Abbad by Rear Naked Choke at the 2:56 second mark of the First round.
- Late Replacement Luigi Fioravanti defeated Solomon Hutcherson with a KO at :45 seconds of round one
-Matt Hamill defeated Jesse Forbes due to referee stoppage at the 4:47 mark of the opening round
-Keith "The Dean of Mean" Jardine defeated Wilson Gouveia.
-Ed Herman lost to Kendall Grove by Judge's decision *29-28*
-Michael "the Count" Bisping defeated Josh Haynes by TKO :46 seconds into Round 3
-In the final match of the night my boy Kenny"Ken-flo" Florian easily defeated Sam Stout 1:46 into the first round by RNC ( Rear Naked Choke )
Got to cheer for the boston kid
The End
Well the hunt for a job continues. I have gotten offers but need something flexible. As I am starting a piercing apprenticeship. I would love to tattoo but when I look at my paintings and my drawings I am not blown away. I think they are good and am proud of them but...I see so many artists out there who's work is good and even amazing, but I would not let any of them tattoo me. When I chose someone to tattoo me I want to be blown away by there work. So as I am not blown away by my own art I feel that at this time pursuing a tattooing apprenticeship would be cheating people and myself. I would hate to go into it and be forced to look back at my work on people and be saddened that I put out that quality of work. So for the time being I will stick to driving needles through peoples skin for a living ^_^
I miss Virginia beach and Maryland a lot. Being back in New Hampshire makes me realize how closed off and sheltered most of the people here are.
It's like people here are afraid to be different. Everyone runs around trying so hard to be just like everyone else.
P.S I leave you with this
The End
I miss Virginia beach and Maryland a lot. Being back in New Hampshire makes me realize how closed off and sheltered most of the people here are.
It's like people here are afraid to be different. Everyone runs around trying so hard to be just like everyone else.
P.S I leave you with this
The End
I think I'm going to stay away from New England ^_^
The weather here is so beautiful.
I am currently jumping back and forth between Maryland and Virginia beach.
Got some ink done the other day by RickSnake In Waldorf MD. If your near the area go see him at American Luck Tattoo.
I'll post a picture once I stop being lazy.
**************************************
My plans for running away so far have worked out, Now I just need another destination.
Any suggestions???
The End
The weather here is so beautiful.
I am currently jumping back and forth between Maryland and Virginia beach.
Got some ink done the other day by RickSnake In Waldorf MD. If your near the area go see him at American Luck Tattoo.
I'll post a picture once I stop being lazy.
**************************************
My plans for running away so far have worked out, Now I just need another destination.
Any suggestions???
The End
I'm running away,
Who wants to come with me?
The End
********************
New Tattoo done by RickSnake out of Waldorf MD
Pictures soon.
Who wants to come with me?
The End
********************
New Tattoo done by RickSnake out of Waldorf MD
Pictures soon.
Self-Psych analysis:
Problem- Subject winds up in self destructive, dead end relationships. Causing depression and triggering long standing issues with rejection.
Analysis- Subject ( myself ^_^ ) is self abusive, The abuse manifests into and is limited to emotional forms of abuse. Subject suffers from depression, low self-esteem, negative self image.
These relationships are usually with partners who are
A.) in relationship's or have emotional stake in others
B.) have baggage, i.e children, abusive pasts involving but not limited to parents and past relationships.
Conclusion- Subject finds battered women/women in distress have a lot to offer. They give subject a chance to fill a childhood emptiness.
A chance to be the hero, provider, protector. All things missing in the subjects early life.
This is an attempt to validate self worth.
Though subject knows this course will leave him as empty and longing for acceptance as prior to the relationship
Also Subject chooses all relationships based on the knowledge of the inability to make them work. He repeats this cycle of rejection manifesting his own personal experience.
i.e Early childhood rejection ( father walking out as well as mother never being there for him ) as well as rejection from close friends and former relationships.
Subject repeats this tread with a mindset Similar to battered women who without help jump from one abuser to another.
Subject jumps from one destructive relationship to another
Knowing he will be left alone again, the subject sub-consciously chooses this for it is all he knows.
Problem- Subject winds up in self destructive, dead end relationships. Causing depression and triggering long standing issues with rejection.
Analysis- Subject ( myself ^_^ ) is self abusive, The abuse manifests into and is limited to emotional forms of abuse. Subject suffers from depression, low self-esteem, negative self image.
These relationships are usually with partners who are
A.) in relationship's or have emotional stake in others
B.) have baggage, i.e children, abusive pasts involving but not limited to parents and past relationships.
Conclusion- Subject finds battered women/women in distress have a lot to offer. They give subject a chance to fill a childhood emptiness.
A chance to be the hero, provider, protector. All things missing in the subjects early life.
This is an attempt to validate self worth.
Though subject knows this course will leave him as empty and longing for acceptance as prior to the relationship
Also Subject chooses all relationships based on the knowledge of the inability to make them work. He repeats this cycle of rejection manifesting his own personal experience.
i.e Early childhood rejection ( father walking out as well as mother never being there for him ) as well as rejection from close friends and former relationships.
Subject repeats this tread with a mindset Similar to battered women who without help jump from one abuser to another.
Subject jumps from one destructive relationship to another
Knowing he will be left alone again, the subject sub-consciously chooses this for it is all he knows.
Sorry for my lack of ....Well lack of everything as of late.
Things have gotten really rough.
Has something ever hurt you so bad you became numb??
Things have gotten really rough.
Has something ever hurt you so bad you became numb??
*Random Non Structured Journal Entry*
Emotionally it feels like I have been on a roller coaster as of late.
but life is starting to look up considerably
^_^
Leaving for Maryland, Washington D.C, then off to Virginia beach in two days.
Got another raise at work.
May be getting a new apartment ^_^
Um, yeah that's it for the moment.
Thanks for the feedback and appreciation on the last post.
I never claimed to be a good writer/poet but it was very personal and something I needed said.
The End
Emotionally it feels like I have been on a roller coaster as of late.
but life is starting to look up considerably
^_^
Leaving for Maryland, Washington D.C, then off to Virginia beach in two days.
Got another raise at work.
May be getting a new apartment ^_^
Um, yeah that's it for the moment.
Thanks for the feedback and appreciation on the last post.
I never claimed to be a good writer/poet but it was very personal and something I needed said.
The End
Tell her that I feel the same,
Tell her I think of her every waking moment, I dream of her voice, and the smell of her hair.
Tell her my mind longs and my body yearns to once again feel her touch.
Tell her that while I am hurt it is her smile I see when I close my eyes that helps me through these times.
Tell her I am here for her no matter what happens
Even it she marries Nick
Tell her That will not change my feelings for her.
Tell her I am here as a friend, a shoulder to cry on, I am here for support moral and physical. I am here to cuddle and here to let her anger and frustrations out on.
Tell her that over the past couple days the thought has Wain heavy on my head and heart of cutting her out of my life forever to stop my own heart from breaking.
Tell her that if I was to do so I would be throwing away part of my heart.
What good is a heart unbroken if it is not whole?
Tell her I can not let her go.
Even if I only see her on those rare occasions
Tell her It will be those few short meetings that will allow me to continue to hold some happiness in this life.
Tell her that while she always asked how I felt I repsonded only with I care......
Tell her the truth is these feelings I have I have had sense the moment our eyes first met.
Tell her My heart belongs to her no matter what this life brings.
Tell her
I am here for her,
Forever
&
Today
Tell her I love her
Always
&
Forever
Tell her I think of her every waking moment, I dream of her voice, and the smell of her hair.
Tell her my mind longs and my body yearns to once again feel her touch.
Tell her that while I am hurt it is her smile I see when I close my eyes that helps me through these times.
Tell her I am here for her no matter what happens
Even it she marries Nick
Tell her That will not change my feelings for her.
Tell her I am here as a friend, a shoulder to cry on, I am here for support moral and physical. I am here to cuddle and here to let her anger and frustrations out on.
Tell her that over the past couple days the thought has Wain heavy on my head and heart of cutting her out of my life forever to stop my own heart from breaking.
Tell her that if I was to do so I would be throwing away part of my heart.
What good is a heart unbroken if it is not whole?
Tell her I can not let her go.
Even if I only see her on those rare occasions
Tell her It will be those few short meetings that will allow me to continue to hold some happiness in this life.
Tell her that while she always asked how I felt I repsonded only with I care......
Tell her the truth is these feelings I have I have had sense the moment our eyes first met.
Tell her My heart belongs to her no matter what this life brings.
Tell her
I am here for her,
Forever
&
Today
Tell her I love her
Always
&
Forever
Answer to all, I've always lied with truth
Sometimes when I write I think
"This is my last letter right here
Fuck this world, lets get the fuck outta here"
I put my soul through the ink
Bless a pad with emotions and my thoughts
Before I grow extinct
Why do I always roam. Without a place called home
now forever I'm all alone
Just me, no friends, no fam, just my plans
No wonder my hands, tight where the Internet ends
I take back most of the flack
The stress has me feeling forever in last
Like my pops, the ghost of my past
Maybe I'm ugly inside, but I'm smiling to make it
This smile is an illusion, I'm still loosing
In this life, with the rules and..
I feel clueless, the sky seems blue less
It's like the stars no longer glow, who would dream that after all this hiding my scars would show?
Its strange how when it pours it rains
I wish I could take it all back..
I've been in deep before but this time
My hearts melting, tell the truth, I need help
my hearts big but by sins seem bigger
Fuck the world, I don't feel like I can win
It's like I'm lost and I only find demons
I wanna quit, its like I'm tired of breathing
I was barely raised by my dysfunctional fam
Here I stand as a dysfunctional man
Quick-tempered, short-fused, and pissed at God
Demons pullin at my soul 'til it's ripped apart
Its no wonder I'm going insane in a world evil as ours
The deeper the scars, the worst is the history
God you ain't gotta forgive me, just don't forget me,
Sometimes when I write I think
"This is my last letter right here
Fuck this world, lets get the fuck outta here"
I put my soul through the ink
Bless a pad with emotions and my thoughts
Before I grow extinct
Why do I always roam. Without a place called home
now forever I'm all alone
Just me, no friends, no fam, just my plans
No wonder my hands, tight where the Internet ends
I take back most of the flack
The stress has me feeling forever in last
Like my pops, the ghost of my past
Maybe I'm ugly inside, but I'm smiling to make it
This smile is an illusion, I'm still loosing
In this life, with the rules and..
I feel clueless, the sky seems blue less
It's like the stars no longer glow, who would dream that after all this hiding my scars would show?
Its strange how when it pours it rains
I wish I could take it all back..
I've been in deep before but this time
My hearts melting, tell the truth, I need help
my hearts big but by sins seem bigger
Fuck the world, I don't feel like I can win
It's like I'm lost and I only find demons
I wanna quit, its like I'm tired of breathing
I was barely raised by my dysfunctional fam
Here I stand as a dysfunctional man
Quick-tempered, short-fused, and pissed at God
Demons pullin at my soul 'til it's ripped apart
Its no wonder I'm going insane in a world evil as ours
The deeper the scars, the worst is the history
God you ain't gotta forgive me, just don't forget me,
