IPOD
RADIO
Wow I really didn't expect that I would have to put my cat to sleep today.
Rest in peace, Oscar. You were the greatest and will be missed.
Rest in peace, Oscar. You were the greatest and will be missed.
As of today I'm unemployed again. By choice of course...sort of. I quit after being threatened at work by a customer for the billionth time during a closing shift, which are always done alone since that company says they don't make enough money to have two people close late at night. I just felt unsafe and they never honored my requests to have some day shifts or non-closing shifts (AKA more then 1 of them a week). My boss really didn't take my resignation well given that I tried to quit in the most professional manner possible in which I got a very unprofessional response. Is it too much to ask from an employer that they provide a work environment where you don't have to be afraid of getting attacked by someone? But oh well the past is the past.
What was surprising was when I asked my parents what they thought about my plan to quit I got a solid "we support you." No "look at it this way" or "that's a stupid idea" just a straight "I support you" from both parents which shocked me but was extremely comforting.
I really think getting out of there is going to be good for me. Today it felt as if a kind of funk was lifted and I was able and motivated to get so much done that I've been meaning to do. I had probably the most painless dental cleaning ever and I've pretty much always kept pretty good care of my teeth. Plus for some reason I've had "Louie, Louie" stuck in my head, go figure.
What was surprising was when I asked my parents what they thought about my plan to quit I got a solid "we support you." No "look at it this way" or "that's a stupid idea" just a straight "I support you" from both parents which shocked me but was extremely comforting.
I really think getting out of there is going to be good for me. Today it felt as if a kind of funk was lifted and I was able and motivated to get so much done that I've been meaning to do. I had probably the most painless dental cleaning ever and I've pretty much always kept pretty good care of my teeth. Plus for some reason I've had "Louie, Louie" stuck in my head, go figure.
Gah, I feel so alone right now. I feel depressed but it doesn't feel like it used to. Probably because of the meds. Which is probably a good thing. I mean it's a good thing that the depression isn't as crippling. Still it bothers me that the root causes are still there. I mean there are a few people who still need to get on board for me to get fully better...or at least have to have no contact with me to get fully better.
In other news I got another cat. The old one is fine and still as lovable as he was on day one we just thought we would double our pleasure. He is a four month old Savannah named Kelvin.
He is an energetic bundle of joy.
I'm kind of annoyed at my doctor or at least a doctor...the one I was forced to see about a mole on my foot. She keeps calling and leaving inaudible messages even thought I've been referred to another doctor. What annoys me is she kept keep telling me I have to have this mole removed (not strongly suggested...told me) but couldn't tell me that I there was anything out of the ordinary about it. Given I generally trust doctors and don't fear them or operations, but when they don't have passible reasons for doing things that would hamper my ability to do daily tasks I tend to question things. If it's one thing I hate is when doctors prescribe medication or operations that basically cover their ass on the off chance something is wrong but are too lazy to try and figure it out.
On a happier note I've been mountain biking more which seems to have helped out my mood a little bit. I've also kind of adapted the Clark Gable "frankly I don't give a damn" attituide about work. Being that I'm most likely leaving in month or so I have no urges to polish the silverware on that sinking ship. Don't get me wrong I really like my new boss but there are a lot of problems that need to be fixed before that store is even close to functional.
Other then that nothing really much is going on. I'm still looking for a place to live in Toronto. I'm still excited about moving up there. I'm also extremely anxious about it too but that's only because my last attempt at living in Canada and going to school didn't go very well. Yet still there were positive aspects.
In other news I got another cat. The old one is fine and still as lovable as he was on day one we just thought we would double our pleasure. He is a four month old Savannah named Kelvin.
He is an energetic bundle of joy.
I'm kind of annoyed at my doctor or at least a doctor...the one I was forced to see about a mole on my foot. She keeps calling and leaving inaudible messages even thought I've been referred to another doctor. What annoys me is she kept keep telling me I have to have this mole removed (not strongly suggested...told me) but couldn't tell me that I there was anything out of the ordinary about it. Given I generally trust doctors and don't fear them or operations, but when they don't have passible reasons for doing things that would hamper my ability to do daily tasks I tend to question things. If it's one thing I hate is when doctors prescribe medication or operations that basically cover their ass on the off chance something is wrong but are too lazy to try and figure it out.
On a happier note I've been mountain biking more which seems to have helped out my mood a little bit. I've also kind of adapted the Clark Gable "frankly I don't give a damn" attituide about work. Being that I'm most likely leaving in month or so I have no urges to polish the silverware on that sinking ship. Don't get me wrong I really like my new boss but there are a lot of problems that need to be fixed before that store is even close to functional.
Other then that nothing really much is going on. I'm still looking for a place to live in Toronto. I'm still excited about moving up there. I'm also extremely anxious about it too but that's only because my last attempt at living in Canada and going to school didn't go very well. Yet still there were positive aspects.
Wow. Things are crazy. My trip to Toronto to try and get set up for school was productive but still didn't make me feel any better about the whole situation. Even with the decision for me to start classes in January vs. September hasn't calmed my nerves. Kind of feel like I'm fighting an up hill battle alone which probably has something to do with the fact that my parents won't give me a straight answer when I ask them what they think I should do.
I guess they're too chicken shit to say what they think and have it be "the wrong" thing then be blamed for things not working out. Advice doesn't have to be perfect in hindsight it just has to be someone's opinion on what they think is the best thing to do.
Of course the one of many downsides of staying in Ann Arbor for a little while longer is I have to take back my two weeks notice from work and continue to watch that ship go down. I'm afraid to go in work today because I know it's continued to get worse, I just don't know how much worse it has gotten since I left last week.
Ok enough "my life is shit" for now.
On a different topic I've been listening to a lot of Ladytron's new album and I have to say it is quite good. Also I don't normally get celebrity crushes but, Helen Marnie is quite good looking, especially in Ladytron's music video for "Ghosts".
I guess they're too chicken shit to say what they think and have it be "the wrong" thing then be blamed for things not working out. Advice doesn't have to be perfect in hindsight it just has to be someone's opinion on what they think is the best thing to do.
Of course the one of many downsides of staying in Ann Arbor for a little while longer is I have to take back my two weeks notice from work and continue to watch that ship go down. I'm afraid to go in work today because I know it's continued to get worse, I just don't know how much worse it has gotten since I left last week.
Ok enough "my life is shit" for now.
On a different topic I've been listening to a lot of Ladytron's new album and I have to say it is quite good. Also I don't normally get celebrity crushes but, Helen Marnie is quite good looking, especially in Ladytron's music video for "Ghosts".
Wow. Things are crazy. My trip to Toronto to try and get set up for school was productive but still didn't make me feel any better about the whole situation. Even with the decision for me to start classes in January vs. September hasn't calmed my nerves. Kind of feel like I'm fighting an up hill battle alone which probably has something to do with the fact that my parents won't give me a straight answer when I ask them what they think I should do.
I guess they're too chicken shit to say what they think and have it be "the wrong" thing then be blamed for things not working out. Advice doesn't have to be perfect in hindsight it just has to be someone's opinion on what they think is the best thing to do.
Of course the one of many downsides of staying in Ann Arbor for a little while longer is I have to take back my two weeks notice from work and continue to watch that ship go down. I'm afraid to go in work today because I know it's continued to get worse, I just don't know how much worse it has gotten since I left last week.
Ok enough "my life is shit" for now.
On a different topic I've been listening to a lot of Ladytron's new album and I have to say it is quite good. Also I don't normally get celebrity crushes but, Helen Marnie is quite good looking, especially in Ladytron's music video for "Ghosts".
I guess they're too chicken shit to say what they think and have it be "the wrong" thing then be blamed for things not working out. Advice doesn't have to be perfect in hindsight it just has to be someone's opinion on what they think is the best thing to do.
Of course the one of many downsides of staying in Ann Arbor for a little while longer is I have to take back my two weeks notice from work and continue to watch that ship go down. I'm afraid to go in work today because I know it's continued to get worse, I just don't know how much worse it has gotten since I left last week.
Ok enough "my life is shit" for now.
On a different topic I've been listening to a lot of Ladytron's new album and I have to say it is quite good. Also I don't normally get celebrity crushes but, Helen Marnie is quite good looking, especially in Ladytron's music video for "Ghosts".
So I have this giant white board in my room that is basically covered with all of the planning and to dos for me moving to Toronto and starting school.
I think it basically reenforces the fact that I'm screwed...royally.
Maybe it's a good idea to see if they will defer my admission a semester? What's the Pros and Cons of that? I mean besides starting mid year. Yet it would give me time to find a place to live, move up there, get settled, get the lay of the land, get all of my living arrangements setup, and be more prepared.
Man I'm so lost right now. The more I try and figure stuff out the more confusing it gets.
Edit: Is it really true that you can't activate the new iPhones at home like you could with the first ones.
I think it basically reenforces the fact that I'm screwed...royally.
Maybe it's a good idea to see if they will defer my admission a semester? What's the Pros and Cons of that? I mean besides starting mid year. Yet it would give me time to find a place to live, move up there, get settled, get the lay of the land, get all of my living arrangements setup, and be more prepared.
Man I'm so lost right now. The more I try and figure stuff out the more confusing it gets.
Edit: Is it really true that you can't activate the new iPhones at home like you could with the first ones.
Wow I guess it's been a little while since my last update.
Oscar is doing much better and after a few weeks of worrying about this whole cancer thing I found out from the cancer specialist today that he doesn't have cancer at all. A large hernia but no cancer. So I'll take that as a good thing.
Work has been crap. I mean the place degrades everyday. The new temporary manager we have I've only seen once. Why because she keeps giving me the crappy closing shift. Other people have the availability to do it I'm just the one who gets stuck with it...for nine months. Probably because I'm the only one who actually does all of the stuff that needs to be done. Which only stings worse that I've worked there now for a year have never gotten a raise (the 5 cent "raise" they gave me to actually be paying a legal minimum wage doesn't count). Shit I'm one of if not the lowest paid member there and I actually DO work and get the crap shifts. But hey one nice note from my new temporary boss makes it all good, right?
Fuck even the ex-meth addict new hire got to be moved to open shifts (the best shifts there are). That's right we hire people who claim to be off of drugs (but admit that their boyfriend and friends are still on them, the same boyfriend and friends that form an endless stream of visitors.) Does this mean I should start giving the homeless/street people/drug addicts that camp in our store that management have not seen the problem with job applications?
But frankly it has stopped bothering me since I'm leaving in something like three weeks or so.
I'm sorry I had to vent on that topic. I mean every job has it's downsides and assholes but really the stuff that is going on makes me literally laugh at times. I mean it's the kind of bad stuff you joke about and laugh about because it's so absurd that it would ever happen anywhere. But it is happening and it's those poor saps that pay money to suffer.
Oh well.
Oscar is doing much better and after a few weeks of worrying about this whole cancer thing I found out from the cancer specialist today that he doesn't have cancer at all. A large hernia but no cancer. So I'll take that as a good thing.
Work has been crap. I mean the place degrades everyday. The new temporary manager we have I've only seen once. Why because she keeps giving me the crappy closing shift. Other people have the availability to do it I'm just the one who gets stuck with it...for nine months. Probably because I'm the only one who actually does all of the stuff that needs to be done. Which only stings worse that I've worked there now for a year have never gotten a raise (the 5 cent "raise" they gave me to actually be paying a legal minimum wage doesn't count). Shit I'm one of if not the lowest paid member there and I actually DO work and get the crap shifts. But hey one nice note from my new temporary boss makes it all good, right?
Fuck even the ex-meth addict new hire got to be moved to open shifts (the best shifts there are). That's right we hire people who claim to be off of drugs (but admit that their boyfriend and friends are still on them, the same boyfriend and friends that form an endless stream of visitors.) Does this mean I should start giving the homeless/street people/drug addicts that camp in our store that management have not seen the problem with job applications?
But frankly it has stopped bothering me since I'm leaving in something like three weeks or so.
I'm sorry I had to vent on that topic. I mean every job has it's downsides and assholes but really the stuff that is going on makes me literally laugh at times. I mean it's the kind of bad stuff you joke about and laugh about because it's so absurd that it would ever happen anywhere. But it is happening and it's those poor saps that pay money to suffer.
Oh well.
Just a little update.
Oscar (my cat) is doing much better. Many heart felt thanks to Tiggle for her kind words.
We had a couple of anxious nights but he seems to be on the road to recovery. Though things may not be all bunnies and buttercups. It appears on top of the injuries he sustained being chased by the dog and falling from out oak tree that he also has a cancerous tumor. The doctor was planning on operating and seeing if she could remove it yesterday but decided to hold off a couple of days to let Oscar heal from his injuries.
Work is...a little better, I guess. No clue, I guess I don't really care anymore. I mean I just keep saying to myself that I'm out of there in 2 months anyways.
Little side note because I'm watching How I Met Your Mother, has anyone noticed how many ex Buffy/Angel stars show up on that show? I mean in one episode I counted at least 3. It's just amusing to me.
I had this really odd dream last night. Something involving an elevator going odd directions against gravity and such. The odd part was the people who were in it. Mainly this girl I went to middle school and high school with. A girl that for some reason has always been different. A life muse, maybe. She pops in and out of my life. Always as some kind of omen. I'm a afraid, very afraid.
Ok enough of my craziness for one night. Time to go get some sleep.
Oscar (my cat) is doing much better. Many heart felt thanks to Tiggle for her kind words.
We had a couple of anxious nights but he seems to be on the road to recovery. Though things may not be all bunnies and buttercups. It appears on top of the injuries he sustained being chased by the dog and falling from out oak tree that he also has a cancerous tumor. The doctor was planning on operating and seeing if she could remove it yesterday but decided to hold off a couple of days to let Oscar heal from his injuries.
Work is...a little better, I guess. No clue, I guess I don't really care anymore. I mean I just keep saying to myself that I'm out of there in 2 months anyways.
Little side note because I'm watching How I Met Your Mother, has anyone noticed how many ex Buffy/Angel stars show up on that show? I mean in one episode I counted at least 3. It's just amusing to me.
I had this really odd dream last night. Something involving an elevator going odd directions against gravity and such. The odd part was the people who were in it. Mainly this girl I went to middle school and high school with. A girl that for some reason has always been different. A life muse, maybe. She pops in and out of my life. Always as some kind of omen. I'm a afraid, very afraid.
Ok enough of my craziness for one night. Time to go get some sleep.
Yep once again life proves again that things can get worse even when they are bad.
An unleashed dog chased and attacked my cat today. Long story short I'm not sure my cat will make it through the night.
An unleashed dog chased and attacked my cat today. Long story short I'm not sure my cat will make it through the night.
OCTOBER 2008
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AUGUST 2008