And then sometimes a fellow Enforcer has a dream about you taking her to Hooters, so you start talking and pretty soon you spend the next three days on the phone for at least four hours a day.
It's nice when life throws you curveballs, and you just knock them out of the park.
It's nice when life throws you curveballs, and you just knock them out of the park.
Okay. Opinions wanted.
I hooked up with a girl a while ago. It was recently after I had broken up with my girlfriend (about 2 months prior) and I had a thing for this girl for a long time. We actually almost had a threesome, this girl and my girlfriend and me. Got very close, and then she backed out (because, turns out, she didn't dig my girlfriend at the time).
So, this girl and I, we went out, had some drinks, went back to her place, and made out. There were hands in places, etc. After it was over I left.
We've stayed friends since then, and we've talked a lot. I made my interest in her pretty clear at the time, because I genuinely like her. I like her as a person, as a lover, etc. I'm interested in her in a way that I'm usually not interested in most people, men or women, sexual or no. She didn't really reciprocate, for reasons that are explained below. She didn't flat out reject me, or say she wasn't interested. It was more a, "you're awesome, and I am interested, but..."
This girl now, she thinks she's a lesbian. She's young (23) and she has feelings for girls, and she finds them beautiful, and she thinks she's in love with a girl, etc. She has lots of mixed feelings about men, because she sleeps with them or leads them on (or both), but the entire time she feels like it's "wrong" or that she's not that interested, and it makes her feel guilty. She told me that after we fooled around, that she felt guilty almost immediately after because she felt like it wasn't right, despite how much fun she had. The fact that she had fun and enjoyed it made it worse for her. And I honestly do think she's confused, but mostly I think she's just young, and in love with someone who isn't in love back, and unsatisfied. I don't think she's a closeted lesbian or anything. She might like girls, or be in love with a girl, but that doesn't make her a lesbian. That might sound judgmental or a typical heterosexual thing to say, but I know her fairly well, we've talked about it a lot, and that's honestly what I think. It's not just that I'm interested in her that's driving me to think that.
So here's my question. I want to pursue this girl, but at the same time, I do want to be respectful of her. I don't want it to come off as, "you're not a lesbian, you just haven't met the right man yet." Even though that IS kind of what I think, I know how that sounds. I don't want to be dismissive of her. I want to help her. I also want to make an effort to get with her again, and not just fuck her. I'd like to, like, date her.
So, how do I navigate that?
I hooked up with a girl a while ago. It was recently after I had broken up with my girlfriend (about 2 months prior) and I had a thing for this girl for a long time. We actually almost had a threesome, this girl and my girlfriend and me. Got very close, and then she backed out (because, turns out, she didn't dig my girlfriend at the time).
So, this girl and I, we went out, had some drinks, went back to her place, and made out. There were hands in places, etc. After it was over I left.
We've stayed friends since then, and we've talked a lot. I made my interest in her pretty clear at the time, because I genuinely like her. I like her as a person, as a lover, etc. I'm interested in her in a way that I'm usually not interested in most people, men or women, sexual or no. She didn't really reciprocate, for reasons that are explained below. She didn't flat out reject me, or say she wasn't interested. It was more a, "you're awesome, and I am interested, but..."
This girl now, she thinks she's a lesbian. She's young (23) and she has feelings for girls, and she finds them beautiful, and she thinks she's in love with a girl, etc. She has lots of mixed feelings about men, because she sleeps with them or leads them on (or both), but the entire time she feels like it's "wrong" or that she's not that interested, and it makes her feel guilty. She told me that after we fooled around, that she felt guilty almost immediately after because she felt like it wasn't right, despite how much fun she had. The fact that she had fun and enjoyed it made it worse for her. And I honestly do think she's confused, but mostly I think she's just young, and in love with someone who isn't in love back, and unsatisfied. I don't think she's a closeted lesbian or anything. She might like girls, or be in love with a girl, but that doesn't make her a lesbian. That might sound judgmental or a typical heterosexual thing to say, but I know her fairly well, we've talked about it a lot, and that's honestly what I think. It's not just that I'm interested in her that's driving me to think that.
So here's my question. I want to pursue this girl, but at the same time, I do want to be respectful of her. I don't want it to come off as, "you're not a lesbian, you just haven't met the right man yet." Even though that IS kind of what I think, I know how that sounds. I don't want to be dismissive of her. I want to help her. I also want to make an effort to get with her again, and not just fuck her. I'd like to, like, date her.
So, how do I navigate that?
The girl I'm sleeping with right now is into biting my nipples, so I thought it would be nice if I shaved around them. I have a fair amount of chest hair. Never done that before, but I shave my cock and balls every few days, so how much different could it be?
Fast forward 20 minutes, after I've nicked all around my nipples while shaving them because they got hard during the process. I spray cologne on my chest, because that's what I always do.
Fast forward 20 minutes, after I've nicked all around my nipples while shaving them because they got hard during the process. I spray cologne on my chest, because that's what I always do.
Life is kick ass lately. I'm now a Producer for a video game developer, which is pretty awesome promotion. Making good connections and really stepping it up at work. Got a $3,000 bonus today, which I'm going to put towards a down payment on a new car. I'm thinking a Honda Fit, a Nissan Versa, or a Volkswagen Golf. Can't decide, will have to test drive.
In the love life area... not so kick ass. Been seeing this girl (same girl from previous blogs), and I'm just not into her. Basically gave her the cold shoulder tonight and let her drive 30 minutes home to her house, instead of spending the night here and having sex. First time I've ever turned a girl down when I was really horny. How do you tell a person you're just not into them, when it's obvious that they're super into you, without totally breaking their heart? The conversation has to happen soon; I don't want her to think I'm leading her on, and it's getting to the point where I am.
Going out with a girl tomorrow who swears she can kick my ass at Mario Kart. Let's see if there's any potential there.
In the love life area... not so kick ass. Been seeing this girl (same girl from previous blogs), and I'm just not into her. Basically gave her the cold shoulder tonight and let her drive 30 minutes home to her house, instead of spending the night here and having sex. First time I've ever turned a girl down when I was really horny. How do you tell a person you're just not into them, when it's obvious that they're super into you, without totally breaking their heart? The conversation has to happen soon; I don't want her to think I'm leading her on, and it's getting to the point where I am.
Going out with a girl tomorrow who swears she can kick my ass at Mario Kart. Let's see if there's any potential there.
Things are weird with this new girl. I should like her a lot, but I just... don't. It's like the more time I spend with her, the less enthused I am.
She says things that I would think were hilarious if my friends said them, but because she's saying them, they fall flat with me. Why is that?
Sexual chemistry is still "meh." Her idea of sex is having lube around all the time, so we don't have to do foreplay to get her wet. Just lube up and go until I cum. What fun is that? Sex is better than masturbation because of all the fun you have; masturbation isn't a lot different than fucking you for two or three minutes and then cumming inside a condom.
Just not sure what the deal is. She really is awesome, I'm just not enthused.
Advice?
She says things that I would think were hilarious if my friends said them, but because she's saying them, they fall flat with me. Why is that?
Sexual chemistry is still "meh." Her idea of sex is having lube around all the time, so we don't have to do foreplay to get her wet. Just lube up and go until I cum. What fun is that? Sex is better than masturbation because of all the fun you have; masturbation isn't a lot different than fucking you for two or three minutes and then cumming inside a condom.
Just not sure what the deal is. She really is awesome, I'm just not enthused.
Advice?
Blog Part A) So, things with girl #2 actually took a drastic turn for the better. After our initial talk (see last blog) things were a little weird, but it really ended up being nothing more than a speed bump. Things got a little too physical a little too fast, and we dialed it back for a while. I think I just freaked her out. We talked throughout the week and then last night she came over to watch movies. Ended up staying the night and, after a few hours of making out during and after the movie, we had the "should we have sex now" talk.
It's worth pointing out that I've never really had that talk before. My experience thus far has always led me right into having sex, with no discussion prior as to whether it's the right time or a good idea. I don't regret that, per say. Those experiences have all been appropriately passionate and without second thoughts. But it was nice being with a girl who takes things a little slower and analyzes them. We talked about whether it was a good idea, what the consequences would be, and what would be gained by waiting, and in the end we ended up having sex anyway. It actually sucked and I came in like two minutes, I think because there was so much pressure at that point, but it's cool. I made up for it with a triumphant encore this morning.
So yeah. We're doing quite well. I'm not sure if this is going to turn into a relationship or just a "good friend who I also sleep with or maybe date or whatever" kind of thing, but I really don't care. She's legitimately rad, I enjoy spending time with her, we have a lot in common and a lot of shared interests, and that's good enough for me.
Blog Part B) Rigel is retiring from SG. Since day one, way back in 2003 when I joined this site, she's been my favorite. If RIgel puts up a blog, I read it first before anyone else's. Her smile, her words, her tattoos, her hair, her bubbly personality, and her photography have always made my day brighter. I feel like I'm losing a friend (even an anonymous e-Friend who has never talked or interacted with me at all), and I'm a little sad. I know she's moving on to different things, though, and I hope that whoever and whatever she pursues is worthy of a person like her.
It's worth pointing out that I've never really had that talk before. My experience thus far has always led me right into having sex, with no discussion prior as to whether it's the right time or a good idea. I don't regret that, per say. Those experiences have all been appropriately passionate and without second thoughts. But it was nice being with a girl who takes things a little slower and analyzes them. We talked about whether it was a good idea, what the consequences would be, and what would be gained by waiting, and in the end we ended up having sex anyway. It actually sucked and I came in like two minutes, I think because there was so much pressure at that point, but it's cool. I made up for it with a triumphant encore this morning.
So yeah. We're doing quite well. I'm not sure if this is going to turn into a relationship or just a "good friend who I also sleep with or maybe date or whatever" kind of thing, but I really don't care. She's legitimately rad, I enjoy spending time with her, we have a lot in common and a lot of shared interests, and that's good enough for me.
Blog Part B) Rigel is retiring from SG. Since day one, way back in 2003 when I joined this site, she's been my favorite. If RIgel puts up a blog, I read it first before anyone else's. Her smile, her words, her tattoos, her hair, her bubbly personality, and her photography have always made my day brighter. I feel like I'm losing a friend (even an anonymous e-Friend who has never talked or interacted with me at all), and I'm a little sad. I know she's moving on to different things, though, and I hope that whoever and whatever she pursues is worthy of a person like her.
Hrm. So, been on a few dates with girl #2. Things have been going mostly well. Monday we hung out and ended up making out in her car until 4:00am. That was quite something.
Friday I went over and spent the night, and it was awkward. Very awkward. We ended up fooling around with clothes off and taking a shower together, and it was just not... natural. Very weird. Not really sure what the deal was.
Today she came over and we got lunch and talked about it a little. She's not sure what the deal was with Friday/Saturday, but things were definitely off. She's not sure where she's at, whether she wants to keep dating, etc. I told her I was interested, we're going to see what happens, I guess.
Kind of took a weird turn, there. I'm not really sure what happened. Women are crazy.
Friday I went over and spent the night, and it was awkward. Very awkward. We ended up fooling around with clothes off and taking a shower together, and it was just not... natural. Very weird. Not really sure what the deal was.
Today she came over and we got lunch and talked about it a little. She's not sure what the deal was with Friday/Saturday, but things were definitely off. She's not sure where she's at, whether she wants to keep dating, etc. I told her I was interested, we're going to see what happens, I guess.
Kind of took a weird turn, there. I'm not really sure what happened. Women are crazy.
Interesting situation I've got going on.
First girl - Been on a few dates. The most I've ever had in common with someone, I think. We had similar upbringings, we have similar interests, similar senses of humor, etc. It seems like everything we say to each other is followed by a "yep, me too." She's cute, she's exactly my age, she has high career aspirations. But I don't feel like there's any physical chemistry there. Maybe, but I'm just not feeling it. Neither one of us has really opened the door for more physicality aside from hugs. I don't know if it's just that both of us are waiting for the other one, or that there's no spark, but it seems insane to me considering how well we get along. We can sit and talk in a bar for three hours and it's like thirty minutes. I really do like her a lot. There's just... something missing.
Second girl - Funny story, actually. We met on OK Cupid and we'd messaged back and forth a bit, I'd given her my number a few days prior, but no text or call. I'm at work at like 11:00pm (dicking around on the Internet) and I get a call from a number I don't recognize, so I let it to go to voicemail. Turns out it's her, she's a few minutes away, and her car has been towed. Bummer. So I called her back and said everything would be okay, grabbed a Zipcar (car sharing service, it rules), and basically rescued her. Helped her get her car out of the impound, kept her company for a few hours, etc. We only spent a few hours together, but I feel like there was a major spark there. She was leaning her head on my shoulder, I was petting her hair, etc. When we hugged at the end of the night we ended up hugging like three times, for no real reason.
So... what do you guys think? I'm just curious, mostly. It's throwing me for a loop how the vibe is totally different with these two women, and why.
First girl - Been on a few dates. The most I've ever had in common with someone, I think. We had similar upbringings, we have similar interests, similar senses of humor, etc. It seems like everything we say to each other is followed by a "yep, me too." She's cute, she's exactly my age, she has high career aspirations. But I don't feel like there's any physical chemistry there. Maybe, but I'm just not feeling it. Neither one of us has really opened the door for more physicality aside from hugs. I don't know if it's just that both of us are waiting for the other one, or that there's no spark, but it seems insane to me considering how well we get along. We can sit and talk in a bar for three hours and it's like thirty minutes. I really do like her a lot. There's just... something missing.
Second girl - Funny story, actually. We met on OK Cupid and we'd messaged back and forth a bit, I'd given her my number a few days prior, but no text or call. I'm at work at like 11:00pm (dicking around on the Internet) and I get a call from a number I don't recognize, so I let it to go to voicemail. Turns out it's her, she's a few minutes away, and her car has been towed. Bummer. So I called her back and said everything would be okay, grabbed a Zipcar (car sharing service, it rules), and basically rescued her. Helped her get her car out of the impound, kept her company for a few hours, etc. We only spent a few hours together, but I feel like there was a major spark there. She was leaning her head on my shoulder, I was petting her hair, etc. When we hugged at the end of the night we ended up hugging like three times, for no real reason.
So... what do you guys think? I'm just curious, mostly. It's throwing me for a loop how the vibe is totally different with these two women, and why.
Holy crap, a blog post.
Things are going well. Work is cool. Still working on finding a permanent place to live, but in the meantime I've landed in a chill house with two other guys in the Portola/Diamond Heights area in SF. I adore the neighborhood. There's a grocery store right around the corner and a cool sandwich place and a Starbucks.
Now if I could just get a girl, things would definitely be coming up Milhouse.
Things are going well. Work is cool. Still working on finding a permanent place to live, but in the meantime I've landed in a chill house with two other guys in the Portola/Diamond Heights area in SF. I adore the neighborhood. There's a grocery store right around the corner and a cool sandwich place and a Starbucks.
Now if I could just get a girl, things would definitely be coming up Milhouse.
