I knew 44 of these girls either from name, sight, or both. I'm honestly curious how many other people can identify:
http://www.complex.com/girls/2011/07/the-top-100-hottest-porn-stars/
It was also a nice treat seeing Tori Black at #1. My Fleshlight is a Tori Black.
http://www.complex.com/girls/2011/07/the-top-100-hottest-porn-stars/
It was also a nice treat seeing Tori Black at #1. My Fleshlight is a Tori Black.
I'm incredibly lonely.
I grew closer to my ex in the six months that we dated than I think I've ever been with anyone in my entire life. And on top of that, I was mentally broken down to a level I've never been over those six months. Dealing with the whole thing, the severe depression, anxiety, abuse, uncertainty... she was my entire world for six months, even though I was miserable for most of it. It was a burden more than it was a blessing, but it consumed me pretty much entirely.
Now I'm single, work is slow, and I'm really having a hard time being so lonely. I'm irritable and grumpy at everyone, all the time. I have significantly less patience than I normally do. I'm not fun to be around. I'm driving people away, and at the same time, I CRAVE contact. I crave intimacy, and conversation, and just... companionship. I had constant companionship for six solid months, and now I'm alone and bored and I don't know what to do.
I don't WANT to be this way, but I am.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I need to talk to someone.
Halp?
I grew closer to my ex in the six months that we dated than I think I've ever been with anyone in my entire life. And on top of that, I was mentally broken down to a level I've never been over those six months. Dealing with the whole thing, the severe depression, anxiety, abuse, uncertainty... she was my entire world for six months, even though I was miserable for most of it. It was a burden more than it was a blessing, but it consumed me pretty much entirely.
Now I'm single, work is slow, and I'm really having a hard time being so lonely. I'm irritable and grumpy at everyone, all the time. I have significantly less patience than I normally do. I'm not fun to be around. I'm driving people away, and at the same time, I CRAVE contact. I crave intimacy, and conversation, and just... companionship. I had constant companionship for six solid months, and now I'm alone and bored and I don't know what to do.
I don't WANT to be this way, but I am.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I need to talk to someone.
Halp?
Nothing like hearing that your ex is "growing close" to someone only two weeks after you broke up to really put the button on a Saturday night.
Oy...
So... things with the girl have not been good. I don't blog here often, so I don't expect anyone to really know the situation or follow along.
I'm in a long-distance relationship with a girl who suffers from serious depression (or BPD, or bi-polar), anxiety, and other mental disorders. It's very, very stressful and difficult to maintain a long distance relationship to begin with, let alone with someone this unstable.
About a month ago things sort of hit the fan, and I basically stepped away. Over the course of a few conversations (or lack thereof, sometimes), I made it clear that I had hit my limit on the amount of stress and emotional turbulence I could endure, that I needed space, and that we wouldn't be talking anytime soon. I even tried to break up with her a few times, but it never really "stuck."
It was a difficult period of adjustment, but after about 2-3 weeks of SIGNIFICANTLY less contact, both my mental state and our interactions started to improve. About 2-3 weeks after that, and her mental state started to improve. I think stepping away and putting some distance between us was a very good thing for both of us; we were entirely too attached to one another, with very high expectations, lots of pressure, and ultimately very little happiness as a result.
And naturally, like an idiot, I started letting her close again. As soon as the distance between us closed, the problems emerged again. We had a huge blow-up on the phone last night, and today was just miserable.
I just... I don't know what to do. She's planning on moving out here in August. We've ALWAYS planned on her moving out here this summer. But I'm honestly conflicted: on the one hand, I'm firmly convinced that the distance is a poison that turns an otherwise healthy relationship into a completely toxic one. On the other hand, I've NEVER been this stressed out over ANYTHING in my life, and in the six months I've been "dating" this girl, I've been miserable a LOT more than I've been happy.
I'm honestly of the belief that her moving out here is a good idea. I think our relationship has a very good chance of working, and we really are good for each other. I think she'll be happier and healthier out here, and I really do care for her a lot.
On the other hand... fuck, dude. FUCK. So miserable.
I just don't know what to do.
So... things with the girl have not been good. I don't blog here often, so I don't expect anyone to really know the situation or follow along.
I'm in a long-distance relationship with a girl who suffers from serious depression (or BPD, or bi-polar), anxiety, and other mental disorders. It's very, very stressful and difficult to maintain a long distance relationship to begin with, let alone with someone this unstable.
About a month ago things sort of hit the fan, and I basically stepped away. Over the course of a few conversations (or lack thereof, sometimes), I made it clear that I had hit my limit on the amount of stress and emotional turbulence I could endure, that I needed space, and that we wouldn't be talking anytime soon. I even tried to break up with her a few times, but it never really "stuck."
It was a difficult period of adjustment, but after about 2-3 weeks of SIGNIFICANTLY less contact, both my mental state and our interactions started to improve. About 2-3 weeks after that, and her mental state started to improve. I think stepping away and putting some distance between us was a very good thing for both of us; we were entirely too attached to one another, with very high expectations, lots of pressure, and ultimately very little happiness as a result.
And naturally, like an idiot, I started letting her close again. As soon as the distance between us closed, the problems emerged again. We had a huge blow-up on the phone last night, and today was just miserable.
I just... I don't know what to do. She's planning on moving out here in August. We've ALWAYS planned on her moving out here this summer. But I'm honestly conflicted: on the one hand, I'm firmly convinced that the distance is a poison that turns an otherwise healthy relationship into a completely toxic one. On the other hand, I've NEVER been this stressed out over ANYTHING in my life, and in the six months I've been "dating" this girl, I've been miserable a LOT more than I've been happy.
I'm honestly of the belief that her moving out here is a good idea. I think our relationship has a very good chance of working, and we really are good for each other. I think she'll be happier and healthier out here, and I really do care for her a lot.
On the other hand... fuck, dude. FUCK. So miserable.
I just don't know what to do.
Khoos to the rescue.
I'm having a pretty difficult time with my girlfriend right now, and we had a pretty serious conversation that left my brain spinning. I was unable to sleep and I just wanted someone to talk to, so I could just... get everything out, you know?
Messaged Khoos on kind of a whim, mostly because she had just posted on FB a few minutes ago, and we had a long conversation via IM and Skype that a) gave me some really useful suggestions and b) just let me talk for a while and spill my guts. I feel SO much better.
mydogfarted, you have an amazing wife and two gorgeous daughters. I know you know how special your family is, but I thought I'd remind you.
<3 to all four of you.
I'm having a pretty difficult time with my girlfriend right now, and we had a pretty serious conversation that left my brain spinning. I was unable to sleep and I just wanted someone to talk to, so I could just... get everything out, you know?
Messaged Khoos on kind of a whim, mostly because she had just posted on FB a few minutes ago, and we had a long conversation via IM and Skype that a) gave me some really useful suggestions and b) just let me talk for a while and spill my guts. I feel SO much better.
mydogfarted, you have an amazing wife and two gorgeous daughters. I know you know how special your family is, but I thought I'd remind you.
<3 to all four of you.
I just tried a Tenga egg for the first time. I was with the lady at Good Vibrations the other day and we couldn't really find anything we wanted, but the Tenga eggs were $2.50, so I bought one, put it in my bag, and forgot about it.
Cut to five days later. I haven't masturbated or orgasmed at all in five days. I suddenly have a very real case of blue balls, I go to masturbate, and then I think, "HOLY SHIT, I HAVE A TENGA EGG."
It was worth pretty much exactly what I paid. $2.50. A nice little twist on masturbation. Nothing crazy or exciting. I'd keep a few around when I wanted something that felt a little different, but it's not going to change the way I get myself off and if it was $5, I wouldn't buy another one.
Anyway. Thought you all might like to know that.
Cut to five days later. I haven't masturbated or orgasmed at all in five days. I suddenly have a very real case of blue balls, I go to masturbate, and then I think, "HOLY SHIT, I HAVE A TENGA EGG."
It was worth pretty much exactly what I paid. $2.50. A nice little twist on masturbation. Nothing crazy or exciting. I'd keep a few around when I wanted something that felt a little different, but it's not going to change the way I get myself off and if it was $5, I wouldn't buy another one.
Anyway. Thought you all might like to know that.
Happiest I've been in quite a while.
What's going to happen if Alix visits, she's amazing, we really are in love with each other like we think we are, and in May she moves out here?
Seriously?
I have an amazing job and the start of a life-long, lucrative career. I live in an awesome city in a great part of the world, in a house with some of my best friends. I'm young and (relatively) healthy.
Along comes a woman who I adore, who loves me just as much as I love her, who shares my hobbies and my kinks in the bedroom, who I'm ecstatic about seeing, who I'm proud to introduce to my friends. Add her to the mix.
What's going to happen, exactly?
That's what I'm nervous about. What happens when you get everything you could possibly want, or at least the BIG things?
What's going to happen if Alix visits, she's amazing, we really are in love with each other like we think we are, and in May she moves out here?
Seriously?
I have an amazing job and the start of a life-long, lucrative career. I live in an awesome city in a great part of the world, in a house with some of my best friends. I'm young and (relatively) healthy.
Along comes a woman who I adore, who loves me just as much as I love her, who shares my hobbies and my kinks in the bedroom, who I'm ecstatic about seeing, who I'm proud to introduce to my friends. Add her to the mix.
What's going to happen, exactly?
That's what I'm nervous about. What happens when you get everything you could possibly want, or at least the BIG things?
Alix (that's her name, how amazing is that) bought a plane ticket today. E-mailed me the itinerary and everything.
So I guess it's about to get real. Well, in a month from now.
She'll be here during Valentine's Day.
My brain just can't shut off. I just start smiling at random times throughout the day, even if we aren't talking.
I got my career start by meeting people at PAX. Now it looks like I might meet someone incredibly special via PAX, too.
Seriously, I can't believe this girl. Look. LOOK!
So I guess it's about to get real. Well, in a month from now.
She'll be here during Valentine's Day.
My brain just can't shut off. I just start smiling at random times throughout the day, even if we aren't talking.
I got my career start by meeting people at PAX. Now it looks like I might meet someone incredibly special via PAX, too.
Seriously, I can't believe this girl. Look. LOOK!
Oh boy. Things are moving reeeeeeeeeeeeeally fast.
She admitted that she had a crush on me prior to this. We had rubbed shoulders at PAX a few times and I had asked to see her tattoo once at a party (I was shy and ran away after she showed me, because she's fucking gorgeous and I got scared).
She's amazing, she really is. We have an incredible amount of stuff in common. She's my age, my body type, my personality type. We're both huge nerds, we both volunteer for PAX, we're both totally kinky in bed, we're both huge sweethearts at our core. She's really everything I'm looking for in a person...
She lives in Boston, though.
She's talking about flying out here in a few weeks for a visit, then I'd probably fly out to Boston sometime in February or March. PAX East is in April, so we'd see each other then. And she finishes up grad school in May. She's already talking about moving out here.
In her defense, she had her sights set on Seattle. So San Francisco isn't a huge change. And there are lots of opportunities for her here (she has a M.A. in Anthropology).
Still, though. Moving awfully fast for only being acquaintances prior to this, and only talking to each other for like... two weeks. We even dropped the "L" word today. But everything in me says it's the right thing to do. It FEELS right.
Part of me thinks maybe this is my "internal clock" asserting itself. I'm 26, almost 27. Single. I have a great job; a career, not just a job; and I have amazing friends. The ONLY thing missing in my life was a girl. And now this girl comes along, and it just seems so perfect... I think I'm leaping at opportunities I would have considered insane a few years ago.
Still though...
Yikes.
She admitted that she had a crush on me prior to this. We had rubbed shoulders at PAX a few times and I had asked to see her tattoo once at a party (I was shy and ran away after she showed me, because she's fucking gorgeous and I got scared).
She's amazing, she really is. We have an incredible amount of stuff in common. She's my age, my body type, my personality type. We're both huge nerds, we both volunteer for PAX, we're both totally kinky in bed, we're both huge sweethearts at our core. She's really everything I'm looking for in a person...
She lives in Boston, though.
She's talking about flying out here in a few weeks for a visit, then I'd probably fly out to Boston sometime in February or March. PAX East is in April, so we'd see each other then. And she finishes up grad school in May. She's already talking about moving out here.
In her defense, she had her sights set on Seattle. So San Francisco isn't a huge change. And there are lots of opportunities for her here (she has a M.A. in Anthropology).
Still, though. Moving awfully fast for only being acquaintances prior to this, and only talking to each other for like... two weeks. We even dropped the "L" word today. But everything in me says it's the right thing to do. It FEELS right.
Part of me thinks maybe this is my "internal clock" asserting itself. I'm 26, almost 27. Single. I have a great job; a career, not just a job; and I have amazing friends. The ONLY thing missing in my life was a girl. And now this girl comes along, and it just seems so perfect... I think I'm leaping at opportunities I would have considered insane a few years ago.
Still though...
Yikes.
