Work has been strange as of late. Been receiving plenty of work, which is great for making my day go by faster, yet its almost more work then I can handle at times. We create daily graphics for NBC stations, including video production, and on the side we create web content for other stations/clients. I have a few side projects that are due soon, yet I don't have the time to work on them during my hours. When I only work 24 hours a week, its hard to complete these when I only get a maximum of 3 hours a week to work on em. The daily work takes up the entire day due to the constant requests by producers. I never get a weekday where I can spend a little extra time on the side projects, that and we lost a lot of staff recently... Wondering why my hours have yet to go up if we lost 3 of our lead design staff, and I'm now held responsible for the work they are supposed to complete. I'm glad my bosses are not complete asshole, because they actually take this lightly... so far. I'm waiting for the day when I get jumped on for not completing a side project on time.

Anyway... I have yet put any time into my game. No where near interested in doing anything on a mac/pc outside of work. I love creating graphics and animations, but when I'm home I just don't have the spirit anymore. I think my main problem is being single. I really need to fix this issue. tired of being lonely.

Other then all that, I am still trucking it... I'm thinking of changing my weekly plan and going out to see more things. Like going to an art show or something that relates to my job, i need more influences in my work.

What a month... I don't understand why or how, but May is always a giant let down for me. Maybe its because it constantly reminds me that I'm a year older, and not much further in life as I was the previous year or it could be that I just so happen to have the worst luck during that month. Fighting with our neighbors, citation for "Disregard of traffic device" (AKA: Turning left onto a street that has a barely visible "No left turn" sign), Bills that sprung out of no where, co-workers giving me shit for everything (double standards are very common where I work, almost to a triple standard), a Hit & Run occurred to my car, and I was turned down from a date. Such a depressing month. I try to hang in there and believe that there is always some light at the end of the tunnel, but it just seems to get worse or stay the same.

Got plenty of hobbies and things to do, just want to try something different. Change everything up a little. I'm tired of reminding myself that I have a steady schedule and that its gonna be like this for months, years, or maybe a lifetime...

I have been having a very difficult time to concentrate. My mind does not wonder so much anymore, but it seems like I'm not all here. I have been debating what to write in this blog for almost 20 minutes now. Nothing special to tell, life goes on and things are exactly as they always are.

I watched Cast Away tonight. Sadly I fell asleep during the scene when Tom Hanks reaches the island. I have been very tired lately, I think I have been putting too much on my mind. The movie has a great ending and theme. It makes you want to keep moving forward, because anything can happen to you. This is the kind of motivation I needed to get back into writing and programming my games, although it has been difficult these past months due to work and my lack of sleep.

Anyway... There is not much else to tell. These weeks have been going by so fast, it kinda makes me a little worried if I am wasting time. Sure I like being around friends, but they take up so much of my time that I barely keep any for myself. I want to do things other then the weekly routine. I would really like to explore new things, get back into drumming, finish developing a Flash game, write some music, travel back to New England for a couple of weeks, or fall for someone. I want some change. I'm tired of being alone. I want to know what it feel like to have someone who would support you as you would back, have that mutual feeling of trust and love. I don't want to sound corny, but I'm seriously tired of living without someone to live for.

All my friends keep trying to tell me how I have it made because I don't have a girlfriend, but I strongly disagree. They don't know what it feel like to be the only person in our group at a movie or dinner who sits alone, watching as the couples all hold each other. I know I don't have room to say anything due to lack of experience, but neither do they. Some people just don't know what they have until its gone...

Had an interesting couple of weeks... I have admitted myself in the Warmachine/Hordes Journeyman Tournament, I got a taste of how it is to work for NBC Artworks, I have been working steadily on my new game, and I have a friend who decided to once again stir some chaos among his friends due to his highly dramatic personality.

I'll start with Warmachine: I was winning the tournament due to the amount of models I have been painting, but the shop owner decided to let some rules fly so the whining players can get their way and gain points for base coating their models (When the different parts need to be distinctively painted) or playing tournament games where one player surrenders on turn 2, thus making the game a 10-20 minute game... if you call it a game. the models meet mid field then the game ends and both players get points. Talk about abusing rules :/

NBC Artworks has been real awesome! I love my job and I can't wait for more. There is really not much to say about it, it's a fantastic job and I finally get to gain some experience in the field that I went to school for. I just can't wait till they start me in on some After Effects and Cinema 4D.

The game is coming along. Xenopod: Path of the Mercenary. I have been spending my travel time brain storming, although I should at least record what I come up with. But I have a small demo on my site right now. It's still "VERY" small for what it will turn out to be (heh), but when I start adding my ideas it should be awesome for a simple game. Thats what I'm going for; Old school with a TON of FX and features. I'm gonna learn some PHP so I can track scores and such... maybe info for saves as well.

Anyway, deep inside I am laughing at an old buddy of mine. He takes everything you say to him so damned seriously. You could be making a small joke and he will flip.
At his house; This guy jumped out of his chair to attack someone during a Smash Bro's Brawl match because the target player kept using the laser gun to shoot him off the level. And I don't mean he was playing around, he threatened him about doing it again, and when they spiteful player continued his merciless blaster shooting the aggravated host decided to jump at him... just to get his ass thrown down.it was quite shocking because to see someone get that angry over something so stupid. Wow... you lost a life, in a video game, get over it! Not like he never made any cheap shots before... using Sonic so he can beat us to the smash ball and own us all in one go. Cheap kill? The laser requires line of sight, no obstacles, and a full charge. Sonic just one hits you off the levels, and the other 3 players as well.
Back to what is going on; I have not hung out with this dude for almost an entire month, because I'm tired of him sending me mass text messages about how shitty his life is right after telling me how his parents just paid for his vacation to the Caymans, paid for his 6+ years in college, bought him a new computer, etc... Yeah... and his life sucks. Anyway. He gets into a stupid argument over SWTOR's head start program and making server first lvl 50 with an acquaintance of mine. I only know this person through another friend, I actually don't hang out with him. The dude he is arguing with wins the argument by basically telling him that he sucks at gaming. Now for someone who is hardcore dramatic and believes he is a gaming guru, this is quite an accusation... So he is pissed, and it shows when he decided to not respond. The rebuttal never went to the source, in fact it spread to the spoiled brat's friends. Luckily I never got anything, but I was shown a large list of messages from a friend from inside our group. All I'm gonna say is, "WOW"!
Apparently I am to blame for the argument, although I had no real involvement, and that I am sharing all of his secrets to my "new crowd of friends that don't involve him". again... WOW! I guess the secret was that he sucked at video games? Whatever, he went on a giant rant through my our friend and it was actually quite damned sad. Sad... yet also funny. I've never met someone so insane. Anyway, here was his typical cry for attention. Friends are leaving him because he's actually quite insane, they have a life, or have other reasons. Me... I now have a life... and I want to stay away from him because he is insane.

So thats been whats up. So glad I got this job, it gives me something to work for. Almost a year of job hunting and the best I could do was freelance for local companies. I hate freelancing...

Other than that... Mario Kart 7. Wish I had more time to play it.

Well It's a step through the door, I got the freelancing position at NBC Artworks. Although I think they hired me on mainly for my Flash skills, I will have to work my ass off to show them what I am capable of.

The first assignment was to fix a game they were building for a client. All that needed to be done was updating the graphics, very simple, so I decided to go the extra mile and finish it for them. It's now a working game, and I got mad props for it.

I was extremely shocked when they gave me a number for how much I was gonna get paid. I wasn't expecting it to be that high. Spending all that time learning Flash, Actionscript and now After Effects is really beginning to pay off. Either way... I'm just glad that someone was finally willing to give me a chance, I was getting tired of watching students I used to tutor get the jobs I applied for. I'm happy for them, but I couldn't get over that they would pass up on someone who was more then qualified for the job.

Other than that, I am dropping my current game projects to make something more arcade-like. Not many people want to play through a long game... although I may still complete it. The music turned out great, the graphics are looking good, animation is awesome, I just spend so much time level designing that it actually bores me...

Halloween was very disappointing this year. We only got 3 trick or treaters, yet we live in community. From what it seemed; since we live at the corner of a road that only has 4 houses on it, no one bothered to head our way. Tons of decorations, candy, etc, and only 3 visits this year... Wow...

Anyway... Been getting back to work on my project, testing some programming ideas I had, and still writing gameplay and story. I'm still in debate over how I want the characters and Story to evolve, and what kind of humor I should add into it. I hate this process, I just want all the characters and graphics to be completed so I can get on with the programming. It's always the graphics end of the project that slows me down, because for one character its an entire day of drawing and animating.

Other then the game, I have been arguing with Xbox Support for 4 weeks over my corrupted licenses. They refuse to accept that the problem is on their side and are trying hard to close my ticket. This all began when they started the license transfer system, when I do a transfer to my new system I lose Zune videos. I followed their instructions, but they do nothing to solve the problem.

So now they shut me out of my account so they can look into it. Was only supposed to take 1-2 days, but it has taken over a week and when I called they gave me a hell of a time over the phone. They also tried burying this ticket again by posting how I have not been following their procedures when we talk, which is a load of crap because you may as well show that you have done everything possible to solve the problem. What sucks is that the first 2 weeks consisted of me completing the same tasks over and over again, until I finally got fed up with the "repeated procedures" and told them I want this to be resolved ASAP. Whether they somehow renew the licenses or reimburse me... and 2 weeks later I cannot even get the people I talked to on the phone anymore, I feel like I'm back to day 1... dealing with people whom don't even know what is going on and expect me to follow the same damned procedures... I hate modern customer service, and dealing with managers almost seems as lame as dealing with the underlings these days. You go no where. :/

This has been a very strange year.

Graduate from college, find myself struggling to find a job in my career, Certain friends bring me down due to their very own depression, and life is just flying by without anything special or exciting taking place. I'm not gonna get into depression, because talking about it makes it so much worse then it should be, thinking about the bad side of everything just makes me feel worse about my situation. So I will move on from this...

I got my money this week from the table-top game army I sold, and I made some ok money. So I'm keeping most of it for survival, and the rest I'm spending on my friends tomorrow. I have a small get together at my place where they can enjoy the pool, watch a movie, then go out and have Bosses pizza on me. They are all excited to come over and enjoy a day of relaxation near the pool, and of course enjoy the delicious flavor of Bosses. After we eat, we may actually just sit down at the table and enjoy some board games like Arkham Horror or Mansions of Madness. Two really fun games that Re involved in the HP Lovecraftian Mythos. Real cool stuff for Horror Fans.

There should be around 12 of us tomorrow, so it may do well as a party. Sadly, a few will not make it due to scheduling, but that's ok, though it would be awesome if they could make it.


I have decided to give myself a little more time to think about Horror Scape and it's new release. I didn't make the deadline I wanted this year, then again I never made or declared an official deadline, but it still would have been awesome to release something this year. Keeping myself active with my work not just helps my influence but also helps the soul, because there is nothing like completing a project and feeling proud and excited about how it turned out.

This one is turning out great. It's a 2d game but it plays like an arcade game with a 3d movement zone, kinda like TMNT turtles in time and The Simpsons Arcade. I figured out some programming that allows me to play with the z-index of all objects in the game based on their location in the screen. The only problem I'm having is the art design... I keep changing my mind and I'm just never satisfied with what I come up with. I want to go in depth and make it look amazing, but that will just add way to much time and effort for me to continue. one person drawing the animations, programming, scripting, rasterizing, composing music, and writing everything is just a lot of work, and the thought of all that time invested just kills the motivation. Would love to get a team together, but everyone I talk to want me to make their game. I do all the work, and they just tell me what their game should be like... And it always ends up being the same thing.

Anyway... Next time I update I may just upload a picture or two of the models I have recently painted. They look great, some better then others, but still look great. P3 paints are just a little difficult to work with.

I'm loving the game though. I hated playing warhammer, I just loved to paint the figures and show them off. But in this game, I can show off the figures and still enjoy the simple and more realistic rules of the game. Yes, I am a nerd, but I love what I do and what I work with, it makes me happy and gives me something to do other then watch tv or play video games. Takes no power, except proper lighting, but painting hels center me. The concentration allows me to forget everything and just work hard to get the fine details done right. I get into such deep concentration that when it becomes 82 degrees upstairs, I don't even notice. I'm to busy painting.

Anyway.... I'm hoping things get better over the next few months. I'd hate to feel as though my degree gave me nothing in return for the headache it caused over the past 3 years. Career Services at Devry are doing nothing for me but annoying me with emails and phone calls over weekly activity. The only 2 jobs I was offered through their service were both in marketing and retail.... I'm so glad that they are taking the time to send me jobs that are not only the total opposite of what I want I went to school for, but are also paying nearly minimum wage, and are located on the other side of DFW.... The gas alone would eat my paycheck. Also, why would I work a typical job when I have one right down the street... Decry has been jerking me around for 2 years now... It's time to cut the cord and just walk away with degree.

Please excuse any typos. I'm using the iPad, and it loves to revise everything I type without mention. Decry = Devry ....

Yup, so I sold my 40k army today. Sold it all for $800 on Ebay. Great price considering that 1/3 of the models are well painted. I mean I used dry brushing, washes, and mixing to get the finished result... That normally means quality paint job, but it's also in the technique and care...

Anyway, I just had to kick the dogs out of the room, Zorro beefed one and it's stinking up the room. Not exactly something helping me try to sleep, since the smell is quite wild.

I've been slowly working on my game and it's coming along. The intro movie is doing well, and I'm hoping to complete it with some shape tween animation in flash. I love shape teed ing now that I full understand it's potential, but there are still moments where I want to curse the name of adobe for not making easier then it should be.

Been playing some Civ 5 recently. Such a great game, especially with the added races... Deja vu... Seriously. I think I had a dream about writing that very last sentence and something happened to me moments after posting it on some Internet social network. Strange how you are doing something to just all of a sudden feel like you have seen or done this several times before, yet you never had the experience.

Other then the awesome news that I made $800 on my army, but still hoping he decides to keep em and not return em, I am still in search of some type of graphics job. The girl who got that job in Arlington is now finally seeing the bigger picture of how important it is to learn as much as possible. During her classes and tutoring sessions she was to busy on the cell phone, her boy friend would do all the work for her, and now she managed to lie her way into a job that she is unqualified for. The funny thing is that she rubbed this in my face on facebook, but now she is begging me to be her assistant. Part of me wants to take it and make the company realize that they shoulda hired me, but my pride is getting in the way because I sure as hell don't want to work for her. Let alone, I know how it's all gonna go down. She is going to be handing in all my work and take the credit for it, then get rid of me when not needed. Either way, I'm not going to be paid peanuts for doing all the work as she gets paid as the senior designer and does absolutely nothing. It just amazes me how people can seriously get away with what they do, and succeed.

I plan on completing a demo of my game. So hopefully it will help me generate a little more fans. Make flash games and make money off of them would be awesome. Didn't mind doing it for free, but at this point I need to get paid!