Q: what's the difference between dirty harry and anal sex?

A: one will make your day the other will make your hole weak

i missed you!!!! are you back in penge????



joke????
An old woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and she asks the bartender for a
scotch and two drops of water.

As the bartender gives her a drink she says, "It's my birthday today and
I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday I'll buy you a drink.
In fact I'll take care of this one for you."

As the woman finishes her drink a woman to her right says, "I guess I should
buy you a drink too."

The 80 year-old woman says, "Alright. Bartender I want a scotch and two drops
of water."

"Alright" says the bartender.

As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "Since I'm the only one
around you that hasn't bought you a drink I guess I might as well buy you one
too."

The old woman says, "Alright, bartender I want a scotch and two drops
of water."

"Comin' right up" the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am I'm dying of curiosity. Why the
scotch and only two drops of water?"

The woman replies, "Sonny, you learn that when you're my age, you can hold
your liquor but you sure can't hold your water!"

hehe




p.s I Luuuurrrvvve oreos!

hey good to see you again! Its been far too long, hows things?

A man rushes into a bar and orders a double brandy, as its poured the man says,
"how tall do penguins grow?" The barman says "About 2 feet, why?"
"Dammit" the man says as he downs his drink,
"I've just run over a nun!"

You did m'dear, and right back at you

How's things?



A severely obese man, upon the advise of his physician, goes into a quick weight loss center.

"First time?" asks the receptionist. "We'll start you out on the 10 pound program."

She takes him into a room and departs, locking the door behind her. In the middle of the room is a nude woman with a sign on her:

"IF YOU CATCH ME YOU CAN FUCK ME"

He chases the attractive woman around the room for an hour or so until catching her and doesn't come out for another hour or so. When he finally gets home and weighs himself, he's lost twelve pounds.

Needless to say, he loves this place. He returns the next day with his fifty bucks handy. "I'll try the 20 pound program today." She takes him to another room and locks him in just as before. In the middle of the room is a 400 pound gorilla with a sign on him:

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

I'm sorry but your theory is just ridiculous. All my socks are black, there is no way they could be dyed yellow!

Why did Michael Jackson reject McDonald's offer to endorse their Happy Meals?

Why are McDonald's restrooms always so clean?